Do students tend to live in dorms as if it was their house or is the dorm mainly a place to sleep? Also, do students tend to be best friends with their hallmates or do most people make their friends outside of the dorms? I’d really like to find a nice friend group I belong in and I’m just wondering whether these mainly form in the dorms or outside activites/classes. Dorm life seems to be really different from school to school so any opinions are greatly appreciated
It really depends on the person. Last year I mainly used my dorm as a place to sleep and to spend my weekends, but the year before I spent a lot of time in my dorm studying and in between classes. Some people find their friends in their dorms, but a lot make friends in classes and clubs. Basically there’s no real point in going in with a set of expectations because those expectations will almost definitely be shattered at some point.
Different from school to school and different from person to person. There are tons of factors- whether you go Greek, participate in a sport, what kinds of clubs you join, big vs small lectures, etc.
My best friends were hall/dormmates, though I had good friends that I met elsewhere as well. I’d say during the week my room was mostly a place to sleep and study, but during weekends we would sometimes hang out in the lounge/commons area or in a friend’s room to chat, watch TV, play video games, etc. I think as the year goes on your dorm and room will naturally feel less like a place to sleep and more like an actual “home” (as cheesy as it sounds haha).
As for making friends with hallmates, during the first week or so everyone will stick together mostly and eat meals together, etc. If someone on your floor asks you to join them for lunch/dinner, SAY YES. There will also be welcome events/activities as well, so again if a bunch of people are going together from your floor, go with them. If no one takes the initiative, you can knock around and see if anyone wants to go with you. Keep your door open during the first week so people feel welcome to pop in and introduce themselves. After a little bit, I think you start getting a sense of who you would like to be friends with and eventually after the first month or two, friend groups coalesce as people settle in. Some of the people that I went out to dinner with in the first weeks I never talked to again, but some others that I went to dinner with stayed my friends and I will be rooming with them again in the coming year! 
The homesick freshman version of me spent pretty much all her time in her dorm when she wasn’t in class. Sophomore year, I was out a little more often, and I think I found a good balance by junior year. But I’m an introvert, and I definitely can’t tolerate being out for the entire day.
As for befriending hall mates, one of my absolute closest friends is a guy who lived down the hall from me freshman (and sophomore) year. We also had a class together my first semester, which is part of why he reached out to me, but yes, we had so many long discussions just sitting in the hall. And I’ve had them with plenty other hall mates too.
Personally, I’ve never really made friends with hall mates. Mainly because I’m almost never in my room (except to sleep) and can never make any of the hall bonding activities. The vast majority of my friends are from music and I basically live in the music building. That’s where I do all my hw (I’m a math/CS major, music and dance minor), and so do most of my friends.
I study there, so I’m there all the time.
I’ll echo what many others have said: it will depend on the person as well as the dorm. Yes, the dorm- not the school. At my school, dorms had varying levels of activity within the dorms. The main driver for that is both the luck-of-the-draw when it comes to the personalities of the students, as well as outside factors (whether the dorm has a reputation for parties, it’s proximity to “prime” locations on campus, etc).
My experience: people were incredibly open the first few weeks of campus. Everyone talked to everyone, people wandered through the halls to meet others, and there was no shortage of people wanting to hang-out outside of class.
If you don’t yet understand the idea of “networking,” you should think about it. It’s not always who you know, but who THEY know. My two best friends today (I met both at college) were friends-of-friends. To give an idea how it works: best friend #1 I met during the first weekend. I was hanging out with my suite-mate and some girls across the hall when the girls decided to invite someone they met “the day before” who lived down in the basement. The basement dweller turned-out to have a lot in common with me and we became best friends (and roommates the next year). Best friend #2 is an interesting story: I made a few friends at freshman orientation, one of whom had a similar class as me. When I spotted him in class I went and sat next to him and he introduced me to two other people. One of the others not only helped me pass the class (Calc I) but his roommate would become another best friend (but not until sophomore year due to an over-bearing girlfriend that kept him locked-up freshman year, lol).
One last piece of advice: get a head start on networking if your school happens to have any Facebook or other social media “groups” for your incoming freshman class. There might even be a group specifically for your dorm.
Hope this was less ‘rambling’ and more helpful
If you have a quiet roommate you can get away with studying/working in your dorm. Unfortunately, my roommate would play League of Legends 24/7 and talk really loudly, so I ended up only going to my dorm to sleep.
I spent a minimal amount of time in my dorm.
I will be honest, I was one of those awful people who is constantly in their significant other’s dorm room. We wanted to spend a lot of time together, and based off of the logistics of his dorm vs mine, we were always at his. (I also think that it’s a vastly different dynamic for there to be one girl sleeping in a room with three boys rather than the other way around.) I spent the night in my own room maybe 1/2 of the time, but barely ever on Friday or Saturday nights.
So, there was that. I was also good friends with the girls across the hall from me, so I would hang out with them in their room a good amount. I would usually do homework in my room though, and spend time there while I did laundry/got ready in the morning/etc.
Even though I chose my roommate on the Facebook group for my school and did meet her once in person, we just didn’t click. We were different types of people, had vastly different friend groups, and very different habits. I would stay out late sometimes or go to parties and she would be in bed by 11:30 almost every night, even weekends. I often felt like she judged me for my lifestyle, which was pretty tame considering I was in a monogamous relationship all year and never stepped foot in a frat house.
I’m living in a 2-bedroom apartment with a friend this year, and I foresee myself spending a good amount of time there since I’ll have my own space and be living with someone more like-minded.
@Knittergirrl That’s also a good point. I know at least two couples that lived exclusively in one partner’s room. (In one case they both had singles; in the other case he had a single and she had a roommate, but she kept her stuff there and everything.)