Hello there. I am about a month into school and unfortunately my college floor is so antisocial! There are a few cliques and although I have trued to talk to people and leave my door open no one seems interested! I am also really regretting not going to a floor that was all my major because I often see them interacting and becoming besties with plans to all live together next year, and it makes me really nervous and depressed.
I have made a group of friends but we usually only get dinner (on weekdays) and hangout on weekends, which is nice but I often end up sitting in my dorm at night. My roommate is awesome but at the same time we have some differences in lifestyle so I dont see us really living together next year.
I am just worried I screwed up my college years because I did not choose the floor with the people that seem so much more like me. And I am worried my group will end up living with people from their floors , and get close to them while I am stuck on my floor. I also feel awkward asking to hangout with some of ny “weekend friends” on weeknights because I am not really super close with them individually (we only hang out in a group pretty much), and I love them but I still have the feeling I am missing out in the floor friends(which may be completely false).
I guess I am just looking for advice on how to make close friends without then being on your floor, how to ask people to hang out individually and maybe some personal accounts on how your floor was and how you all made your friends? Any advice is greatly appreciated because college has been really rough for me so far (at least in my head). I know that I am lucky to have already found “my group” but I just see these close floor bonds and it drives me crazy!
Keep on trying to be social. Don’t hole up in your room. Don’t make yourself paranoid. Everyone is working out the same stuff you are whether or not it appears so. It’s too early to worry about who will room with next year. My own daughter had a pretty large group of friends from freshman year that lived in the same dorm. She is a senior now, and only one of those ten or so people is still a friend. Your friend groups will keep changing as time goes on until you find the true friends. Just don’t give up, keep trying.
It is only September. When do you even need to pick a room for next year - March/April? It seems really soon to worry about next year’s housing. My daughter is in the business field. Last night she went to a liberal arts night to check it out even though it isn’t her real interest. She isn’t into art but went to an art club to make a tie dye shirt and meet people. Tonight she is going to play bingo. Some stuff she goes with people some she goes by herself. See what activities your campus has and don’t be afraid to go alone. You can also let your friends know and see if anyone is interested in joining you.
You already have a group of friends so you are way ahead of many college freshmen. If you want to seek out more friends you can join clubs about things you care about (where there should be people who share your interests/values), you can try to talk to people in class, and things along those lines. If it isn’t too far maybe walk over to your friend’s dorm one or two nights a week and spend some time there or arrange to meet them in the library to study.
It is too early to think about next years roommates – you can bring it up to them in the spring semester.
Please read this: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc-p1.html
You are well ahead of the game at this point. Many many kids are still trying to find someone to hang out with at all. It’s early days and you need to give it time. Fwiw, my D didn’t hang out with anyone at all in her dorm, and it took her a couple of months to find a group of people she liked. Being in the same dorm room or building doesn’t mean you are destined to be friends.
My son’s a freshman and has made lots of friends already simply by joining his college orchestra and a chamber group. I think the easiest way to make friends is by joining a club. If you need to make friends specifically with those on your floor, then I’d post a little ad seeking a tennis partner or chess partner or whatever suits your own interests. But I think the most effective way to connect with people and making friends is through some sort of organized group activities, including study groups. If none suits you, then start one yourself.