This is a thing I hear about from young people all the time – they didn’t grow up on the phone, they don’t like the phone, they regard phone calls the way older people used to regard telegrams: it must be bad news (or a scam), because otherwise who would it be, doing such a thing?
I’m pretty much the only person my daughter calls, and she’s the only one of her friends who knows how to use a house phone.
Autistic friends also say the phone’s an immense struggle for them and it’s been a huge relief to see the world move online, where they can take their time about communication so they’re not misunderstood.
I hate initiating phone calls and have gotten to like phones less and less. I actually really like being able to see people’s faces and I like being part of a group so it feels less like an interrogation and more like a conversation. So this last year and a half of Zoom/Discord has actually been much nicer for me.
My younger daughter will usually text me every 2-3 days. Older daughter does the same, although she’s more likely to FaceTime so I can see my 10-month old grand-daughter.
I’m an adult kid (can i still count as that?!?!). I nudge my other half to call his mother every weekend. I’m sure she knows it’s me doing it.
I text with my mom a few times a week, and I see my parents every few weeks in person. She lives about a half an hour away. I usually only text or call my dad when I need his help with something - he’s not much for using his phone unlike my mother.
We are really blessed that kids live in the same area. I consider us very, very lucky! That said, we don’t talk or meet every day or have a pre-set talk or meeting schedule. The kids have their own lives. A random text exchange or meal meetup here and there.
I have 2 Ds in their mid 20s. The one who lives with us has a crazy schedule and usually talks to us for only a few minutes a day as she comes and goes. The one living far away calls a few times a week during her long commute, which probably adds up to more total time than her sister.
We have a family group chat that everbody (me, wife, 2Ds and SIL) all contribute to multiple times per day. I also have side chats with both girls that we probably use every couple of days.
Given the changes in technology and pricing, I don’t think you can compare our experiences as kids calling home to our kids.
D (30) who lives in town leaves her dog here during work so I see her almost every day. D (28) is OOS grad school. She mostly calls when walking from place to place or cooking. Which is consistent with when both in college. Got most calls while they were walking from class
It’s been different in different phases of life depending on kid’s age, distance, physical/emotional/logistical needs, our schedules, their schedules etc. There is no standard formula.
I use to to call my own parents every other week or so but now I call several times a week since they are retired and aging so more attention is required and expected … or otherwise they call at inconvenient times so better to do it myself.
My Daughter (31) lives in our town, and has just gone through a bad breakup. She moved back with us for 2 months whilst searching for a place, during which time I became super attached to her cat. She calls/texts almost every day. I feel relieved when I don’t hear from her because that’s a sign that she’s ok. I enjoy the cat videos, though, haha.
My son (27) lives a little over an hour away, and we don’t talk or text very often. However, we have a group family text, and he participates pretty frequently. He shares when he’s accomplished something that he’s proud of, or something ridiculous that we can all laugh at. He came to visit this weekend and we talked in person for hours.
My son and daughter communicate with each other a lot, it seems, although that might be initiated from my daughter, mostly.
I would imagine that if either of them were married and had children that they’d be too involved to communicate, unless for advice or help. But I don’t know, because at that point in my life, I’d talk to my mother every day, sharing minutiae. She was a great listener, as I always try to be.
This question brings up a memory from my son’s freshman year of college when his HS girlfriend dumped him. Up until then, he didn’t call me. OK, maybe once or twice. I can still hear his trembling voice in my head, poor kid.
I don’t think frequency is necessarily a measure of connection if the communications are meaningful or just plain fun.
Oh, and my husband used to talk to his mom every Sunday for about an hour.
