I am just curious how frequently parents speak to their kids who are away at BS. This can include speaking by phone, texting etc. We usually communicate everyday usually via text or a brief call. But it’s gotten a bit less frequent recently. I start worrying when I don’t hear anything for a day or two. I would love to hear from others. Also wondered if boys and girls are different.
We text every other day, give or take. Phone call once or twice a week. It varies based on how busy she is or what else is going on. I initiate most texts, but I let her make most calls so that they don’t interfere with her schedule. I think that the frequency of communication depends more on the kid’s personality and relationship with parents rather than on their gender.
@GoatMama thanks so much. I feel a bit better.
I used to call my parents once every day in the beginning of the school year. I am a current bs student and this is my first year so I was just getting settled. Bs can get extremely busy and jam packed and so it might not be that they don’t want to talk, but there it’s realistically isn’t time. Me and my parents might text a little through the week but hen we usually call each other on sundays. I am the once to initiate it and I appreciate that because I find that schedulesa re constantly fluctuating and you get very busy. Best of luck! If you have any questions don’t hesitate to pm me.
@Center Glad to relieve some of your worries. I’ve also noticed that communication has gotten a bit less frequent. My kid said she’s gotten really busy, with little time left between homework, eat, sleep, and gym.
For us, it was a few times a week for both son and daughter, although I do think in general that girls communicate more than boys. Definitely not daily. I do think the “no news is good news” motto has a lot of truth in it. If you are hearing from your child less frequently I’d take that as a sign that your son is settling in well, feeling more comfortable, making friends and connections. In other words, I’d take that as a very good sign, not something to worry about.
We get text every other day or so. Calls are maybe once or twice a week. DS says his scheduled is packed and between studying and evening activities he’s doesn’t have time. If he needs us, he definitely calls. He does know however, we expect a touch point at least weekly.
We text every other day or so, but it’s usually inconsequential stuff (I just finished the book you gave me … is it snowing there?) - mostly it just says hey, I’m thinking about you. I also follow D on Snapchat, and she’ll post a photo there for me every few day, either a silly face, or a pic of her dinner, or her bio lab. Then we FaceTime about once a week.
At first I felt like the only contact that “counted” was the weekly FaceTime, and it didn’t seem like enough (mostly because this is her first year at BS and I wanted every detail just because I’m curious), but when I add up all of the other communication, it seems fine.
Daily texting? Not even close. We try to have a call once a week, but sometimes it can be longer. Sunday evening seems to work best usually. Texting is when something comes up - on his end or ours. Maybe it was a bit more when he was first there (he is a senior now).
It depends. Right after we drop him off for a break, we get texts or calls several times during the 10 hour drive home. The next few days, texts throughout the day. After that, maybe a good morning text or a call in the evening. By the end of the first week back, it’s pretty much down to sporadic “Need Frankenstein” or “send snacks” text.
He calls maybe once a week and a text only when he needs something.
We never texted and calls were very sporadic after the first few weeks of freshman year. Over the course of his BS career, I’d say we averaged two calls a month with ChoatieKid. We hear from ChoatieCorporal about three times a month now because there are more interesting things going on at his college than at BS, but still no texts.
@doschicos , @queenmother , @Amkngk @southernboyzmama , @cababe97 , @gusmom2000 and @GoatMama . Thank you all. Okay I feel much much better! I am a needy Mom… :">
I would like more communication too. He is just too busy enjoying himself. I called at 9am Saturday morning thinking I could surely get him then. He was out playing basketball. 
@queenmother I had the exact same experience!
I, too, would love more communication but … we text a couple times a week; often it is just about questions he has/things he needs. Sometimes it’s a bit more “deep”, but not usually and not very. We facetime or call very rarely. Then again, we are up visiting (watching a game of his) every couple of weeks. A mom of a girl who also goes to the school, with whom I have become friendly, talks to her daughter several times a day. I think it really varies by kid, perhaps somewhat influenced by gender and your prior communication style/relationship.
I speak to my daughter multiple times a day. She loves to TALK! We always joke she has a quota of words that must be spoken everyday- we get all the surplus that she has at days end.
Our son we rarely ever hear from. I see him at least once a week- so we text a bit before I get to campus- Does he need anything from home, market etc…
We communicate 2-3 times per week, which include a single line text and me smiling back. More when she is troubled, less when everything is rosy. I am happy with that.
I have heard from my kid more often with each passing year. Now that she’s a senior, she calls nearly every day. When she was a freshman, I worried because I heard from her so infrequently. Basically, these kids are BUSY, in particular the first year when they are figuring everything out. Their schedules often don’t even leave room for a call home on many days.
Regarding boys: I was a BS dorm parent in a large boys’ dorm. If I had a dollar for every parent who called or emailed to ask “Is my kid even still enrolled there?” or “Have you actually seen him in the past two weeks?”, I could buy a ticket to Hamilton! LOL
When I was in BS, I was required by my parents to write (an actual letter, this was the stone age) once a week. I remember thinking it was the most onerous chore, and I’m sure my letters said the same thing each week: " I’m doing fine, weather is fine, food is fine, etc". I made a mental pledge to my future child that if he/she was ever in a similarly fortunate situation that I would not require a letter with specific frequency.