<p>What do you all think of the fact that the roommates’ Mom seemed to suggest that Kgal ate all the roommate’s snacks, when it was the other way around? And that she brings up snacks when first meeting Kgal? </p>
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<p>I think it is very possible that the family did not know the meal card was turned off for a week or what being suspended from classes really means. If the roomie is a first generation, and the parents are used to paying bills late, they might not understand that if you don’t pay, you don’t eat or go to class. Some people (and not all of them needing money or unemployed) don’t pay on time, and then the electric company sends a ‘we really mean it’ notice, but nothing really happens, and they finally pay. If the lights get turned off, they pay faster but they never really believed the lights would be turned off and are kind of mad that they were.</p>
<p>OP, you did what you needed to do, you reported the problem. Let the school work on it. If roomie asks where the snacks are, tell her you don’t have any because you can’t afford to replace the original stockpile. Just give the school time to work on it, and if it gets bad again, report it again. I’ll be very surprised if roomie is back next semester.</p>
<p>Kgal, you sound like a mature and caring young woman who has handled this situation very well. Please heed the advice in a prior post to keep a log of events. I think many posters are giving your roomie too much benefit of the doubt because of her circumstances. I also think the mother’s comments were deliberate and directed at you. I’ve encountered people like your roommate. I think she’s manipulative and will continue to play you. </p>
<p>You can store medication in the same refrigerator with food. The places with rules to separate refrigerated medications from food is in in a hospital. I don’t think that op needs to apply hospital guidelines for her dorm fridge.</p>
<p>“She says “Oh daughter roomie, where are all the snacks?” Roomie says “yeah I don’t know, all my snacks are gone!” And then looks at me.”</p>
<p>Careful here. Lies are revealing a large part of your roomies personality. Maybe her meal plan was not deactivated…maybe she just prefers yummy snack food to cafeteria food.</p>
<p>I still think that with all that’s been mentioned, I cannot put evil intentions and purposeful manipulation on the part of the roommate and her mother.
Then again, my best friend grew up poor with a single parent, and my father had to steal food as a kid. He would bring anything good home to his family.
You do not steal food if you want to get rich. You do it because you are hungry or you don’t know better.
The girl is likely embarrassed that she is powerless to handle the FA situation better and hid from her mom that they took her meal plan away.
BTW, taking away a needy student’s food means the university seems not to give a crap. Let alone that if the student has diabetes, they were practically forcing her to take food.
OP, protect yourself, but keep on as you are - don’t blow everything up for both your sakes. I hope the university intervenes soon.</p>
<p>How do you take away a meal plan? You don’t get a meal plan until you pay for it at my kid’s school…</p>
<p>I was totally rooting for the Op’s roomie. I understand the need and desire to eat if you are hungry (and thus taking all of Op’s snacks) and have no meal plan. I understand the need for the roomie hiding her own food in case times get even leaner. But the fact that the roomie did not confess to eating the snacks that her own mother bought for her, at which would be the perfect time to complain about the lame dorm housing cutting off of the meal plan, sounds fishy to mean. Unless the roomie thought that she would get in trouble from her mom by pointing out to her mom that her meal plan was cut off, which is plausible, I guess. But it still sounds fishy (aka lying) to me.</p>
<p>kgal I do think you should call your roomie on implying to her mom that you at her snacks. “Roomie, you know full well that I never ate anything of yours except for one ginger ale. I would appreciate you not letting your mother believe I am eating all your snacks.”</p>
<p>Haven’t read the whole thread, but it sounds like you have gone well beyond what anyone would expect.You are not responsible for her, especially since she sounds dishonest and manipulative.</p>
<p>I second the idea of locking up the snacks. Either don’t get any more snacks, or store them out of sight in a secure place–or maybe in a neighbor’s room-- and only eat them when she isn’t around. You are not required to provide her food. You have been kind, but you’ve been taken advantage of. Don’t talk to her about it. Just stop letting her take advantage. Fine if she uses the fridge, micro, etc., but providing access to unhealthy snacks could be a bad thing for a diabetic who can’t control her eating habits. Maybe having this stuff in the room is too much temptation. (Unclear whether she actually had/lost a meal plan. I’m surprised a school could cancel this for a dorm resident. If she is hungry she needs to contact school/dining services, not expect you to provide for her.) Anyway, she is out of bounds to be taking ALL of your food/drinks without sharing hers. Since she can’t control herself, you need to stop her access to your stuff. For students/parents reading this–take note–“sharing” of consumables, especially with strangers whose habits you don’t know, rarely works. There are always those who feel free to take more than their share, and those who will be surprised/resentful that all of their stuff has been taken. Better for roommates to agree that they must ask/offer if they want to take/give any particular item. Seems weird that she said she didn’t know what happened to all of the food. Was she trying to hide the fact that she ate all the junk from her mother–by letting her mom think OP ate it all?
It sounds like OP 's roomie isn’t going to last long. (Taking only 12 hours? Expecting everything to be given to her, and NOT getting a job to pay for stuff? ) I hope OP gets a new roommate/single by next semester.</p>
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<p>Not everyone was raised to share to the same generous extent you have already demonstrated. </p>
<p>While I was raised to share what I could, experience from growing up in NYC when it was still crime-ridden taught me lessons on how DISCRETION and critical judgment needed to be exercised in order to avoid being taken advantage of/outright robbed. </p>
<p>While I do share, I usually make it clear it’s on occasion and not meant to be an entitlement and my roommates in college and post-college experiences had the exact same expectations.</p>
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<p>I don’t necessarily agree here. </p>
<p>One time not too long after college, I was dropped off at 2 am after a long road trip during which I was involved in physically strenuous activities and hadn’t eaten a meal for 14+ hours due to being so busy. Due to an oversight on my part, there was no food or drinks in the fridge or pantry closet of mine…only those of my apartment roommates. </p>
<p>Despite being ravenously hungry, I felt the prioritization of my good relations/honorable rep with my roommates was far more important than to dip into their food/drink supplies. Especially considering it was not right to punish them for my own failure to plan ahead of time to ensure I had food/drinks of my own available when I needed it. I sucked it up and went to bed hungry. Lesson learned. </p>
<p>Lol. ^^^. Eat a sandwich or two, but leave a note to explain + money for the food. </p>
<p>Well Kgal, </p>
<p>Absolute game changer now that the roommate has demonstrated she is a LIAR and doesn’t feel bad or embarrassed enough to try and explain,</p>
<p>Whole nother ball of wax.</p>
<p>Watch your stuff. Look for a new roommate. There is a basic trust level that no longer exists. </p>
<p>Sorry you have to deal with this. Password block your computer. Keep your credit cards/cash protected .
Better to be proactive.</p>
<p>Stay friendly. You are now much, much wiser. It’s a good thing to know so soon that your roommate has issues and to protect yourself.</p>
<p>Darn. </p>
<p>I’ve finally decided to jump in…I read the first few posts a few days ago and I haven’t read the entire thread either, but from OPs first post, she states that the university removed the roommate from her classes(paragraph 4).</p>
<p>So why is roommate still on campus if she isn’t attending classes? Is there something I’ve missed from the original post? How or why should someone stay at a university if they are not attending classes? </p>
<p>Is this thread for real?? Some of the stuff don’t add up! It’s like a puzzle and we’re given little clues here and there as the story escalates.</p>
<p>I’ve read this too, and it reminds me of a student I know, not this student, but someone who seems similar to this room mate. A bright and promising student from a low income family started college, but never connected with the college environment… None of the adults who encouraged her imagined this would happen. She seemed very motivated, but didn’t attend classes and is no longer enrolled.</p>
<p>As to not attending classes. If a room mate is not enrolled in classes, student housing will be notified and her housing contract will be voided. If the room mate is enrolled, sometimes there is no monitoring of academic performance until the grades drop. If a student is on need based financial aid, the financial aid office will be notified and she will be contacted by them. Some colleges have designated “student success staff” to help students with academic difficulties and also have developed a community of success to encourage students to be involved on campus. One of the risk factors for not graduating is not being connected to friends and activities at college. As you can imagine, not eating in the cafeteria, not attending class, or making friends can be part of a downward spiral.</p>
<p>I think that this room mate can continue this behavior for a while, but not indefinitely. Low grades will be reported to the financial aid office who will counsel her on what her options are. The OP is not responsible for the room mate’s choices. Also, this can happen to students of any income and I have known high income students who, for various reasons, didn’t adjust well to college too. Sometimes it has been unpredictable. Colleges are implementing support systems for at risk students, but also the students have to take some responsibility for their education too. </p>
<p>If you read the ops posts it makes sense. The OP is giving us a blow by blow as it occurs. That’s all.</p>
<p>I will clarify the sequence of events for those who are confused/curious</p>
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<li>Roomie gets letter saying she has been removed from student status and her card will not work in the dining halls, getting in to rec center or other student buildings, and she has been removed from her classes (because there has never been any payment). So now she has several long days of being alone with dorm and no access to outside food. Recipe for disaster. </li>
<li>About six days later roomie gets letter saying there has still been no payment and she must move out on X day at Y time. This is when I took her out for a nice meal because we both thought it was her last night on campus. </li>
<li>On Day X roomie’s parents found some money to send to the school. From what she told me, it is about less than 10% of what she owes. This apparently pacified the university and they reinstated her back in her classes and turned back on her card. </li>
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<p>Trust me, it doesn’t seem real to me and I’m living with it. There are many gaps in the story because my roomie doesn’t want to communicate what’s happening (understandable… It’s her family business). I don’t think she even knows the full story. One day, it’s that her family doesn’t have enough money. Then, it’s that they do have enough money but filled out the paperwork wrong. Then, it’s that they sent in the paperwork/money but the university somehow didn’t believe them. </p>
<p>I do think my roommate could have been more responsible to prevent this situation. Each student can easily access their financial aid records on the same website we check our email, submit homework, etc. It was very obvious to see what you owed and if you had payed it. Almost a month passed between when tuition was due and when this all happened. In the letter roomie got saying she was being kicked out, it stated there had been multiple attempts to contact her about payment and this was kind of “the final straw”. She acted like this was all unknown to her but I think she was just in denial about her family needing to pay the money. Very similar to the electric bill situation someone mentioned above. </p>
<p>Like I mentioned, there is still a lot of money left to be owed. That’s why I am afraid the other shoe will drop soon and roomie will be left with no food and no classes until they figure out the money. I think they allow students to live in the dorm because say you have a kid from really far away, maybe even another country, how can they possibly arrange a flight home or hotel stay on a days notice if they are truly poor? I will note that this situation doesn’t apply to my roommate as seem she lives about 40 minutes away. </p>