<p>Okay, while I am waiting on my pastor to do his song and dance, lols and before my phone battery shut off, I want to address @sax.</p>
<p>Hey @sax, just because you are a “long time” poster, and “respected” by many as you say, doesnt mean that all your prior posts were sound advices.</p>
<p>Respect? Now that’s relative! </p>
<p>Yes, I am a mother of an URM student and you can use that as your excuse why I am responding.</p>
<p>But know this. I do stand by whites, Indians, Asians, blacks, Hispanics and any other race… That is not the point.</p>
<p>Some of you love to feed off the negative threads. You guys need to play fair and nice, stop with your hidden agenda behind your “advices”. </p>
<p>That’s for darn sure, Lana ( regarding post 140). But I never said "I " was a long time respected poster, did I? 
</p>
<p>Posters that have hung around awhile get a 6th sense for trolls, that’s all. You’re being too hard on this kid.</p>
<p>Of the two, I can more easily believe that LanaHere is the ■■■■■… certainly kgal has maintained a more civil discourse</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for the advice. It definitely makes me feel better and like I can have a better handle on it all. Here is what I have decided to do.</p>
<ol>
<li>I am not going to buy any more snacks for the room for awhile. Whatever I need, I will just get with my card. </li>
<li>As far as valuables go, I do not feel an intense need to lock them up. I will keep a close eye on my money/debit card, but I really don’t think my roommate would steal my computer (the only valuable thing I have). It has been three weeks and she has shown no other tendencies to taking other things. I am not that concerned, I just don’t see my roommate having a “revenge” kind of side to her. I am one of the few people she spends time with here and I don’t think she would lash out at me like that.</li>
<li>I will keep a record of when I talk to my RA/RD.</li>
<li>I will try and make sure my roommate stays healthy and talk to someone if I fear her health is declining. </li>
<li>If my roommate mentions needing money, I will suggest an on-campus job and see if she wants help getting one. </li>
</ol>
<p>Other than that I will continue living my life and trying not to worry about this. At the end of the day, I hope people realize I care about my roommate and just want to find a solution that will be beneficial to both of us in the end. If I really was out to get her, I would have requested a room change or yelled at her a bunch or ostracized her from my life, and not gave a crap about her health or her success or trying to include her in my activities. Thank you all again for giving me some assurance. I will post again if the situation changes. </p>
<p>It wasn’t my intention to imply that OP was a ■■■■■. I was just confused about being taken out of classes. </p>
<p>But Lana does bring up some good points. So my radar starting to ping. I just went through all of OPs posts </p>
<p>I remember a few months back there was a poster who was a ■■■■■. He posted about how he and his buddies cheated on the SAT. Something was amiss from the onset & when I questioned him about the validity of his thread, other CC members jumped all over me. Hard. How dare I question someone looking for advice?? Guess what? He finally fessed up b/c he got spooked, said it was all a joke. He realized I was right, bragging about cheating on the SAT is a very serious offense. I even mentioned that his IP address could be figured out so he needed to be careful. </p>
<p>I say all this to say…OP says her roommate doesn’t eat all day, but she is an insulin dependent diabetic(posts 4 & 92 are contradictory). She also says how roommate sleeps all day but how does she know if she is out all day? </p>
<p>I too find her posts to be offensive mentioning that roommates background precludes her from family support, she has a sense of entitlement, how hard her parents have worked. Et al. Something is hinky here!! </p>
<p>Ok. Pile on folks! </p>
<p>No, not going to pile on. I just don’t see it.</p>
<p>So now the posters been bullied off the thread. She is just too polite to say so. There ya go. Happy?</p>
<p>Crosspost w Kgal below. Nice response, Kgal. Much more mature than mine.</p>
<p>NewHavenCTmom, Yes I agree, it is really weird that she is diabetic but also never seems to eat or eats junk food. That is why I worry about her health. I am just saying what is happening, and I agree it is not normal behavior for a diabetic, so I can see how it would seem contradictory.</p>
<p>The only reason I know she sometimes sleeps very late is because I will come back after classes to change for work, pick up textbooks, etc, and she is still in bed. I guess it is possible she could just be taking a nap, although we go to bed pretty early most nights so I feel like we get plenty of sleep. </p>
<p>I am unsure if you are trying to scare me with the story about the SAT cheating. I agree that could definitely get someone into huge trouble and I don’t think that situation is super comparable here. If someone were to figure out my identity and call the school to get me in trouble, they could talk to my Resident Director, two RAs that know about the situation, and my parents to confirm the story. </p>
<p>I guess I am fine being questioned- I too read stories every day that seem unbelievable and the person could possibly be making things up (example- my roommate’s conflicting behavior with her diabetes). If you have other doubts I am fine to answer them, but I have also gotten some good advice from people taking me seriously, so at the end of the day, I am in a better place. </p>
<p>Kgal, your story is 100% believable and the majority of parents on this thread have tried to support you and offered good advice. Your posts are very respectful and it seems you have gained from the perspectives offered by the majority of parents on this thread who are trying to help. Please keep posting and try to put aside one or two posters trying to detract from the otherwise positive thread. I think your game plan going forward is very good. Also, you never volunteered the student’s race until many asked you about it and so you were upfront in responding, but didn’t choose to do so otherwise. </p>
<p>No, not trying to scare you OP. I have a keen eye for stuff that doesn’t add up that’s all. I was only giving an example of how I was vilified for questioning a member, I was even called a few names & how it all finally came out in the wash.</p>
<p>@sax, I don’t see how my questioning OPs story is bullying. Again, when one posts info on a website, they will get lots of differing opinions & advice. Something smells off. </p>
<p>@LanaHere </p>
<p>After a shower and some further thought I think I might understand why you are offended by this thread. The minute first generation college student was coupled with URM it became something else. So I can understand being offended even though it had nothing to do with the OP and her problem and her viewpoints.</p>
<p>I didn’t understand how you could possibly be offended but I can see how you might be with this in mind.</p>
<p>@NewHavenCTmom . I just don’t agree with you. This kid has gone out of her way to be thoughtful and you called her out on making offensive statements that I just don’t see. The OP even asked you if you were trying to scare her. I found that to be bullying. So we have different viewpoints, you and I.</p>
<p>OP, have you discussed the situation with your own parents? If so, what have they advised you to do?</p>
<p>The story is believable and the answer imho is to ask her questions and don’t offer a smidgeon of help. “You have no food or money. Oh my. How are you planning to survive?” None of this is your problem.</p>
<p>“I realize my roommate comes from a very different background of support than I do, so I was more than happy to be able to bring stuff so we could have a nice dorm room.”</p>
<p>This was in OPs first post. I think she was saying so much without even saying it. I went back and read all of OPs posts & that stuck out like a sore thumb…Along with lots of other things that she said. She was laying the bait all along without coming out & saying it. Lol which is fine. </p>
<p>I’m moving along, nothing else to see here! Have fun with the ■■■■■. </p>
<p>Even if the poster is a ■■■■■, one thing I’ve found on cc is that lurkers in similar situations learn a lot from the discussion. I don’t see a big downside here.</p>
<p>I guess I don’t see how that is offensive. My roommate said she was too poor to bring anything for our room. So I was happy to be in a situation where I could bring some things so we could have a great dorm room! I was thankful it wasn’t going to put a huge strain on my family and that we could have a fun room together. I don’t know what bait I laid out, only two people out of the many posters in this thread have “taken the bait” so I think you are thinking too much into things. </p>
<p>Also, I wish you would not call me a ■■■■■. I have tried hard to be respectful and civil and get advice into what is a frustrating situation for me. I realize that everyone, under their anonymous internet screen name, is a person, and I would like to be treated like one as well…</p>
<p>And HarvetMoon, regarding your question. My parents feel similar to me. They want to help her, are concerned about her health, but also don’t want me to worry too much about it or spend a bunch of money trying to fix it. My mom has told me she can give me some extra money to buy things for the roomie if the situation gets dire and she has nothing to eat. They have tried to help me come up with some free things we can do together for fun and I think my mom is sending me some arts and crafts stuff from home that we could do together. They are frustrated but also understanding. </p>
<p>Be careful that you are not giving your roommate mixed messages. It s nice if she wants to do some art projects (no cost) with you, but please be careful not to let her become your project, if you know what I mean. You really should be clear that you are not her source of food, no matter how dire you feel her food supply is (especially since, unfortunately, she has shown herself not to be trustworthy.) She needs to learn to self advocate, and this responsibility is over your head. Keep going to your RA and/or over her head. You need to let the appropriate people address this situation. That is not you. You can certainly let your roommate know you are concerned about her, but she needs to take charge of addressing these problems, not expect you to do it. Is time to set some polite but firm boundaries. And please be careful to watch your cash too. One of my s’s roomates had “sticky fingers”.</p>
<p>Kgal, it sounds like you are a polite person, but you are under no obligation to respond to attacks on your character, or to continue posting updates here. Most parents here are trying to offer good advice, but the peanut gallery is turning this thread into something else entirely. </p>
<p>Best of luck to you, it sounds like you are an intelligent, compassionate person and are now heading in a good direction trying to manage your situation.</p>
<p>@sax
Sorry if I sounded mean or disrespectful towards you earlier.</p>
<p>My biggest concern is that the moment these 3 letters came out “URM”, all the URM kids get grouped together.</p>
<p>Lazy, don’t want to work, liars, thieves, don’t want to better themselves, don’t respect friendship, don’t take care of their health, low income, hopeless.</p>
<p>Some of the advices from the earlier posters were really good while the others were cold and out right hateful.</p>
<p>" you need to get away from roommate ASAP!" Or " I wouldn’t let her wouldn’t medicine in my refrigerator."</p>
<p>Comments along that line…</p>
<p>Excuse me but it was not a pair of dirty socks that roommate tried to put in the refrigerator. We are taking about insulin.
A LIFE LINE! What if that’s your child who needs insulin? </p>
<p>So inhumane!</p>
<p>I want to say to all the URM and low income students out there, whether you are white, black etc…: Don’t let people who have more money and/or power change who you are. Keep focusing and succeed!!!</p>
<p>If your child needs refrigerated insulin then you need to buy her a refrigerator not depend on the generosity of an anonymous roommate. You should probably also make sure she has food. That should be obvious, really.</p>