<p>Yes, definitely read up about Executive Function Disorder. If the child has it, they will need a ton of support in college, and might not be able to succeed going away to college even with a ton of support. Even if, sigh, they were National Merit Semifinalists. For kids with executive function problems, starting out at community college living at home can be a very good idea.</p>
<p>And the parents should be ready for a lot of bumps in the road and derailments. Everything is not going to be simple and rosy.</p>
<p>As Ema said, if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen one. With that said, a parent needs to at least figure out if and to what extent their child has Executive Function Disorder. I heard years ago that in elem school, the Aspie either has the neatest desk in the class, or the messiest. The highly structured, organized Aspies may have social issues in college but may not have academic problems. The feel good stories you read about Aspies graduating with honors from Ivies are likely people who do not have executive function disorder.</p>
<p>Does a parent still have to wake the student up every morning? Remind him of deadlines? Does he do his homework but forget to turn it in? Do long term projects get done at the last minute and only with parental coaching? This type of student, with Executive Function Disorder, is not likely to be academically successful far from home in college, no matter the level of brilliance.</p>
<p>Colleges stress self-advocacy, but if the student cannot self advocate, there are often problems.</p>
<p>One concrete suggestion: Make sure he knows that he is allowed to drop a class, and calendar the drop deadline That is something that is not really possible in HS. An Aspie may not pick up on fellow students talking about dropping a class if they are struggling. An Aspie may not even pick up on “hints” the prof is giving that he should drop and try again.</p>
<p>^I’m living through this stuff now and am learning a lot from this thread. I thought all Aspies dealt with executive function problems. My S definitely struggles with it and he doesn’t seem to mind. ADHD medicine really helped him and the last time he ever made honor roll was when he was on the meds. As a highly creative and visual thinker though, the meds just destroyed his creativity so he stopped the meds after a while.</p>
<p>He dropped a class after the drop period so it shows as a withdrawal. Good advice on knowing the dates there.</p>
<p>Your also right about the lack of correlation between success and intelligence. I see this too with my S. He knows his special interests like the back of his hand. However, he occasionally gets in a class where he thoroughly knows the topic and can’t pass a test or turn in the homework on time. Argh!</p>
<p>My S is a brilliant artist that sometimes lacks a sense of thinking big. He will do things on a small scale to save time or to save money or because a certain type of paper or pen or digital media has become a special interest. It funny, he loved free notepads from banks. He would use them to draw hundreds of pictures and I was trying to get him to drawing book so he could submit with a portfolio. He had to have the paper from the bank though.</p>
<p>I just mention it because its one AS kid. As different and varied from any other NT or AS kid. Keeping an AS kid on short leash is not to hold the kid back, it’s to hold the kid up or to pick them up when they fall. </p>
<p>Some think Leonardo DaVinci has AS, maybe Einstein, maybe Andy Warhol and many others. </p>
<p>Just thinking of how much people with AS have to contribute is amazing but they have to be developed and guided with consideration of their uniqueness in mind.</p>
<p>I have an aspie son who will be a hs senior next year. We have been focusing on a college in our town where he can live on campus if he wants, or move home if that doesnt work. Either way we will be available for support. The college is small but well-respected, and a good fit academically. I used to hope he could go away to college, but this compromise is probably more workable and less stressful.</p>
<p>The college my dd is going to next year, automatically asked if we wanted a single room. That was good. We had already applied for one through the honors program, but if we don’t get it, then the disability office will make sure we get one. I really think she needs to be able to go into her room and shut her door to decompress. I couldn’t imagine her with a roommate that brought someone in for sex. Yikes!</p>
<p>Even though my daughter on the spectrum is only a freshman in HS, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the information on this and similar threads! I’ve noticed that most of the schools mentioned that have good supports for students with autism seem to be located far from where we live in Southern California. Since everyone recommends having their student go to college somewhere not too far away, can anyone point me in the direction of a college relatively close to here that might be a possibility? At this point, she’s likely to be a math major, if that helps. I’ve tried to research some of the colleges that I know of in the area but haven’t yet found anything that gives me a lot of confidence as far as support for students on the spectrum is concerned.</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang, I’ve already thought of that, but my daughter really wants to go away to a four-year school and won’t entertain the idea of community college right now. However, that may change in the next few years. We shall see…</p>
<p>I think it’s really important to understand your Aspie kids strengths and weaknesses before making a decision. Son is a freshman at a medium sized engineering school. He really wanted to go away and try being independent, so we made sure we found a school with good support, a private room and a campus that he could easily negotiate. Even though he is very bright, this was more important to us then prestige.His executive function skills actually surprised us and he has managed quite well in that arena, however had this been a bigger problem we knew there was a person in place who could function as a coach. We also skyped with him regularly and so in some ways could still keep a close eye on things. As the year comes to an end and we reflect on things, I think he has really matured and been able to be much more independent then we ever gave him credit for. He is doing well academically but has really struggled Socially. He has significant social anxiety, but he has joined clubs. However he has not made any real friends and spends most of his time alone. Despite this he believes the year has been successful and we are very excited about the growth we have seen, and are not sure we would have seen this had he gone to school at home. While this has been our experience it is really true that every Aspie is different and and their needs differ. I would talk with his therapists, teachers and anyone who knows him well before making a decision.
alone</p>
<p>My son nixed a nice LAC that offered lots of merit aid because the only bathroom options in the freshman dorms were community. Yes, sounds silly to neurotypicals, but he can’t/won’t use public bathrooms.</p>
<p>We had some friends who had a son who was on the spectrum but he was never diagnosed and between him and his mom helping him stay on track in high school he did quite well. He was very smart and went to a LAC in the midwest (he lived in NY).<br>
His father thought he was going out to pick Son up for Thanksgiving, but was asked by the dean to take him home permanently as he was failing all his classes.
Like others have mentioned, his Executive Function was working for him. All of a sudden he had to get him self up, get himself to classes, write down homework, do homeworks, etc.etc. He could not do that and either was unaware he was failing, didn’t care or was in denial. He was diagnosed when he came home and is now taking 1-2 classes at the local CC. </p>
<p>Anyway, like others have said I would consider somewhere with disability services…A professor is going to treat a student that s/he knows is Autistic in a different way than one he doesn’t. They can accomodate them.</p>
<p>Also consider how you can monitor their progress. Ask your child if you can have access to any online BB systems that their class uses. You could then see if they are doing the work and how they are doing, and if they are not doing well steer them toward meeting with the professor. My friends had no idea everything was going so badly for their son, because colleges will not share that info with parents, but the child can.</p>
<p>With my neurotypical daughter I asked to see gradse (on the actual system, not just verbally) because I want to make sure my $$ was being used wisely and she was doing well. I have other friends who did not do that and didn’t find out until the end of the year that their son was going to be on academic suspension from Cornell. Also clearly a smart kid, but somehow got in over his head.</p>
<p>One thing I’ve learned this year: No news from an Aspie is not good news. It just is no news. Try, ahead of time, to get access to their grades online, so you can monitor that as it goes along. We let our dd go “cold turkey” to college this fall, because she was so insistent, and she didn’t want to listen to our opinions at that point. For the first 6 weeks we heard virtually nothing from her, and then we started hearing about the problems. </p>
<p>It’s so true that colleges are trying to not have helicoptering parents, but I think parents of Aspies have to helicopter in some ways. It’s a different scenario.</p>
<p>I have a 20 yr old son with high-functioning autism who is in community college (his younger brother is about to start at Amherst, across the country from us, in the fall; older sister is in a PhD program in Tx). My son has an amazing memory and a strong vocabulary, but stuggles with Algebra and with inferential thinking, reading comprehension,etc. For him, living at home and attending CC has been perfect. He takes only 2 classes a semester; for him, this is plenty of challenge. Then he has a lot of time to volunteer with other college students in our town (we have a lg university, 2 colleges, and a CC in our town of 100,000) in the Christian youth program, attend several college-aged Bible studies, etc. He is really growing in his social skills, and he has been stronger socially than academically since about 8th grade. So CC is always an option. Some students on the spectrum do an AA at Com College and then transfer to a 4-year college for the last 2 yrs and then get the BA.</p>
<p>As far as my college is concerned, there are several autistic people who major in physics, math or CS, so all three departments know a bit about their reality.</p>
<p>@MakeMom - I love that saying “No news is not goods news, its just no news.”</p>
<p>We live that as well. Our S wants to be so independent which is great in concept but chaos follows him in everything. I think it’s the executive functioning.</p>
<p>Ultimately, he wants to live off campus. I’m saying no way right now. Adding a landlord, rent and bills to his life is a disaster in waiting.</p>
<p>And my S is very high functioning. Not diagnosed until he was 15 though the signs were always there, it didn’t become clear until that time.</p>
<p>The school may have a wonderful support system, but it won’t do any good if the kid refuses to use the support! My S has major executive function issues, but won’t even go to office hours–he sees it as an admission of failure. So instead, he fails the class. Yeah, that’s so much better than admitting you need help… :rolleyes:</p>