<p>He's a Junior in high school and wants to do something with computers. I am not quite sure he is ready to live away from home, but he is chomping at the bit to get some independence away from parents.</p>
<p>His SATs are pretty good but not stellar (for this board - they'd be considered pretty stellar in the real world) and his GPA is a solid B+ (completing and handing in assignments has always been an issue). </p>
<p>I think he needs a very nurturing school that would help him if he got into trouble, but his parents seem to think prestige is most important. He really is very bright, but it is so difficult to advise him because of his issues. I am at a loss.</p>
<p>I don’t know. I have a senior on the spectrum. She is going away to college in the fall. I’m worried, but she really wants this, so I feel I should give her a chance.</p>
<p>There are some schools that have support programs for autistic students.</p>
<p>My son is sounds similar to yours as far as grades and SAT but major issues on being timely. He is in college. </p>
<p>The truth is that its hard. He’s at a school close to home, lives on campus and wants to not be the kid on the spectrum. The last is the hardest to deal with. A teacher got frustrated with him last week and told him to just drop the class. The tea her doesn’t know he is autistic. What she mistakes for total disinterest and a bad attitude is really low social skills and lack of eye contact.</p>
<p>It’s not easy. It can be done but make sure he’s in school close to home. Your work isn’t done for years to come. By the way, my son is doing well in college overall and really loves it. He has his moments but is a solid student. I’ve seen plenty of NT kids crash and burn especially in the freshman year and we are nowhere near to that happening.</p>
<p>Thank you for the comments. It is a difficult situation. Madaboutx, how big is the school your son attends? I am worried about getting lost at a really big state school, but there is one really nearby with his preferred major. He could live on campus, but still be very close to home for some support.</p>
<p>OP - It’s great that your son wants independence. But you are right to be concerned and do extra research. </p>
<p>"Completing and handing in assignments has always been an issue). " - That is a tough issue for college, especially in computer and engineering programs where there are so many assignments and projects. Look for someplace where you can arrange help for tracking the work.</p>
<p>Staying close can be very important to ensure a successful transition. Aspies can get derailed by the smallest of things. It is usually recommended to take college in small steps. First living at home then one step at a time. </p>
<p>Every aspie is different so generalizations are hard but handling transitions and advocating for themselves are too big issues. For success he needs to be self aware enough to be outspoken about his needs.</p>
<p>There are skills with great programs. Google “schools friendly to aspergers” and then “very friendly.”</p>
<p>MQD: My wife and I really appreciate your posts, here and elsewhere. See my post in the video game major thread just now. Having the ability to just (digitally, I suppose) keep an eye out to just make sure that our S, who is on the spectrum, knows he has backup, so he won’t get “derailed” as you say, will be key. We were pleased to see that the school he’s headed to (Miami) evidently has an aspie support program or resources in place.</p>
<p>We have a child on the spectrum and are friends with many parents of autistic children, some of whom have graduated from, or are currently attending, college. My advice is that proximity to home and disability support services are far more important than prestige.</p>
<p>It’s important to know that some large universities are more supportive than small colleges. For example, in my state (NC), the public university with the largest undergraduate enrollment and a couple of the other larger universities are very well-regarded for disability support. We went to open houses for each school my son was interested in and talked to the disability services representative. At some, we received a polite smile and nod and “we do everything to help” general comments. At others, however, the representative greeted my son warmly, asked him about his interests and told him what clubs he might consider joining, talked how they had a number of students on the spectrum and they were some of their favorite students :), gave him a list of the more used supports for spectrum students, invited him to come to the office, etc. Those more welcoming schools, the ones that left my spouse and me with tears of appreciation in our eyes, were the large universities – not the smaller schools that we expected to be more welcoming.</p>
<p>You sound like a wonderful aunt! I think it is great that you are so concerned and want to help. Could you take him to visit the disability services office of the nearby university? Proximity and preferred major are great. If is a supportive environment, the large size might not be so much of a problem.</p>
<p>^I agree. Prestige, school size, strength of department, sports, etc barely matter. </p>
<p>A supportive school close to home really helps. </p>
<p>The ability to come home, get away from crowds and decompress really helps minimize stress and stave off meltdowns and deal with inevitable conflicts.</p>
<p>It maximizes chance of success.</p>
<p>Colleges are trying hard to cut the umbilical cord and keep out helicopter parents which is fine for NT kids but destructive to AS kids who don’t mature like other kids. That makes me angry and sad. My S walked about 5 miles a couple weeks ago for a class assignment because he hates the city buses - It’s definitely an Aspie thing - and his professors don’t always understand how some things are harder for him.</p>
<p>There’s a large school on his list which he is not that excited about, but it is REALLY close. He is also looking at a small school he is excited about but it is in the middle of nowhere. I am (gently) pushing the larger school, but I have to do some research on exactly how much support he can expect to have. I also don’t think he is capable of applying to a lot of schools. He has a couple of favorites and that’s all he’s interested in.</p>
<p>I am trying to arrange some visits for him this summer. He has never visited his favorite school (or the area its located). He just liked the brochure they sent him. It’s a struggle.</p>
<p>I did well at a large school with a good support system that made the university “feel” smaller. That is something they say at umich all the time, that different things make a big U feel small. A good support system, activities of interest, social fit, good advising, access to needed resources, etc are all things that can help make a bigger university feel a little less overwhelming, which in my case is exactly what I needed. I always did better in larger school environments than smaller… I was overwhelmed by the social demands of a smaller school. Everybody knowing everybodys business, and needing to be <em>on</em> socially all the time for fear I might offend someone I’ll have to see again every day, is a lot for me to deal with. I didn’t even like small classes. Not to mention that in smaller groups it’s not long before the entire group has established a pecking order, figured out that I am weird, and then I am excluded. Being able to float between smaller social groups in a large social pool has always been better. But, I was only able to do that without being lost in the shuffle because I had good help from the disabilities office when I was at risk of being “derailed,” which I admit was often. I don’t think that had anything to do with my particular environment, I think school would have been hard for me no matter what the circumstances.</p>
<p>But, there’s a saying in the autism community-- if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. Everyone is drastically different. While outside advice can be very helpful, don’t let it trump what you know about your own nephew. What works for him will be different from what works for others.</p>
<p>There’s a recent post thread in Learning Disabilities section of CC Forum, which includes a very helpful checklist for confirming “ASP friendliness”. Please go check; lots of relevant posts in that subforum.</p>
<p>Having experience on this topic ourselves, I’d recommend a smaller school that is receptive to ASP students, confirmed by touring, speaking to professors, and speaking to Student Services folks directly and in detail. (We were leary of the big state schools here in Midwest, and he’s going to a small but strong LAC this Fall - and he did disclose in both Common App and in admission interviews.) Our DS has good grades and scores too, and has minimal accomodations in HS. We found many Midwest LACs, identified in the Loren Pope college guidebook “Colleges That Change Lives”, that fit the bill. Schools that participate in the federally-funded TRIO program, which is a student support program focused on student retention success, are particularly suitable.</p>
<p>Click on my screen name and do a search. Search under Cardinal Fang, too. We both got “come and get him” calls freshman year. Everyone needs to read up on Executive Function Disorder. Also google “mitch naegler college aspergers.” </p>
<p>Given the chance to sink or swim, these kids often sink. That good SAT score and HS GPA means nothing after even one semester of low college grades.</p>
<p>missypie – I’ve read some back threads about your son’s experiences. I’m so sorry that you all went through that. Although I think (hope/pray) my son will be okay, I don’t have any delusions that things will go swimmingly, and I appreciate all the advice you’ve given to others.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I have several parents to talk to whose sons have gone to the school my son will be attending. They were very pleased with the support they received. They also believe that being close to home was the other reason that their sons were able to be successful and graduate. The school that we actually thought would be the best fit for him in many ways was just, in the end, too far away – and it’s not that far.</p>
<p>We are, however, preparing in case he has to come home and go to community college. We encouraged him to consider that option from the start, but he wanted to go to a “regular” college like his academic peers in high school. We let him choose, with the understanding that we wouldn’t consider him a failure if he had to change course later.</p>
<p>It has helped him to see someone two classes above him (an academic all-star with incredible everything and very neuro-typical) come home after making two semesters of great grades at an “elite” college and go to a community college. He was homesick for a year and now is very happy at CC, hoping to transfer to a nearby university after this year. I have used him as an example of how it’s okay to go in another direction if things don’t work out at first.</p>