How to be friends with Asians? Dating Asian guys?

Pre-College Issues High School Life
81

<p>"Another question: How big a role do your parents play in who you date/eventually will marry as far as race will concern?"</p>

<p>My dad seems to prefer me marrying an asian woman, but my mom doesnt care who i marry</p>

<p>I could care less about who i date/marry whether she be black, latino, white, asian, etc. Nor will i let my parents dictate who i date/marry, </p>

<p>and fat chance of them doing so when im in college in the middle of NYC and theyre stuck in NOVA ;)</p>

<p>"A lot of people who are asian have told me that their parents forbid them to date white people, especially to their male children. I've also noticed that there are far more asian girl/white guy couples than white girl/asian guy couples. Why is it not the same for females?"</p>

<p>Not sure why it isnt the same...possibly because asian guys havent developed the testicular fortitude to ask white girls out?</p>

<p>"If your parents do not want/forbid you to date or marry a non-asian girl ... will you listen to them?"</p>

<p>No.</p>

<p>"Would they disown you if they did?"</p>

<p>No.</p>

<p>"Would you/do you/will you marry or date a non-asian girl anyway?"</p>

<p>Yes.</p>

82

<p>
[quote]
Interesting. NBAChris, it's fine if you don't feel like responding, but I'm curious. What's your view? Do you support asian/white interracial friendships/marriage? Or do you feel that you'd be happier sticking with asians?

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</p>

<p>I support any interracial couplings. The only problem I may have with seeing a girl of my race with a white guy is the fact that dating in North America seems to resemble NAFTA, where white guys are the U.S. and Asian guys are Canada: we can take yours, but you can't have ours.</p>

<p>It's really the culture that I'm affected by, not the race. For example, I see little difference between a white girl and an Asian girl who was born in the U.S. and doesn't only hang out with Asians. I would prefer a cosmopolitan girl so that I would not end up like those people who in their later years find themselves entrenched in a mono-racial and most likely racist circle of friends.</p>

83

<p>"The only problem I may have with seeing a girl of my race with a white guy is the fact that dating in North America seems to resemble NAFTA, where white guys are the U.S. and Asian guys are Canada: we can take yours, but you can't have ours."</p>

<p>I can totally understand that. There are definetly some demeaning sterotypes out there that oversexualize asian girls and emasculate asian guys, and I think that they contribute to the imbalance between asian female/white male and white female/asian male couples. The media doesn't help either! Those negative assumptions make me angry because they are completely unfair and racist.</p>

84

<p>On a similar tangent, I think it's interesting that with the increase of public concern over racial diversity, there are many more films/magazines/commericals portraying blacks and hispanics in an unstereotyped manner, yet I hardly ever see asians that aren't stuck with kung fu master, incurable nerd, or female sex kitten roles.</p>

85

<p>I dunno, I think we asian men have brought the stereotypes upon ourselves. I mean, it's not our fault as a whole for it, but instead it's a combination of existing stereotypes from the 19th century mixed with the cultural differences, our own apathy, and the shyness of many asian men.</p>

<p>I personally have never had any major problems of getting a girl, whether she be asian, white, or black...but then I can't say I've had too many of those situations in the first place. </p>

<p>I seriously do believe that there are a lot of asian guys similar to me who are loud, otuspoken, extroverted, and generally twinkie-ish. </p>

<p>The negative assumptions are unfair to a plurality of asian-american men, but it still holds true for many. I know mayn asian guys who are introverted but would love to be dating any girl. I also know asians who will only date aother asians because they thinks white girls are ugly. In all seriousness, the attitudes of asians are no different than the attitudes of whites, black, and latinos. I think we are magnifying this problem due to the general cross-section of teh asian population taht posts on the CC boards. Heck, if you have this much time to be posting here, you can easily spend that time finding a girl...Well, that's something I should be doing as well. :)</p>

86

<p>Well, sandra oh on grey's anatomy is definitely doesn't fit into that role, nor does that asian girl that used to be on ER. And with asian guys Ken Watanabe is doing pretty well, and others are definitely starting to invade the US due to the rise in popularity of foreign language films.</p>

87

<p>
[quote]
On a similar tangent, I think it's interesting that with the increase of public concern over racial diversity, there are many more films/magazines/commericals portraying blacks and hispanics in an unstereotyped manner, yet I hardly ever see asians that aren't stuck with kung fu master, incurable nerd, or female sex kitten roles.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I agree. I think it's because that in America, Asians are like "white jr.'s". They don't cause crime, they don't scramble the status quo, and they're good for the economy. Therefore, Asians are seen as dark-haired, small-eyed whites, and are not given the same sensitivity treatment as blacks or Jews. So when a company like A&F thinks they're just being funny when they produce racist t-shirts towards Asians, they don't fully realize that Asians themselves do not feel white at all, and often are resentful towards them for various acts of injustice. A&F and others like them probably think it's just like inter-ethnic bashing amongst whites (insulting but not completely tasteless) instead of egregious racism, but it's not. Asians, after all, are the Model Minority, so they can take a jab from the whites now and then. Or so the erroneous thought goes.</p>

<p>Or, I could be completely wrong and every bit of racism against Asians is fully intentional. Asians have a culture and history that rivals the West, and with the rise of China, pose a threat to Western domination. Therefore, on their home turf in America, the ruling whites have to use every ounce of their power to keep those upstarts down, especially their men.</p>

<p>meestasi,</p>

<p>I agree with you, but I also believe that the cultural stereotypes are definitely no help at all and are great obstacles. It's a known sociological fact that stereotypes are self-fulfilling prophecies, as noted by the improved performance of women in sciences and math who are told that their sex is not naturally inferior in those fields. </p>

<p>And nothing ticks me off more than a dorky and unattractive Asian guy who blames his race for his ill fortunes with the opposite sex. Don't bring the rest of us down with you; you'd be a dork if you were white, black, or Martian.</p>

88

<p>One of best friends is Asian...just act normal.</p>

89

<p>I'm an asian guy dating a white girl</p>

90

<p>Vintor you are my hero...</p>

91

<p>leave it to chris to make a thread boring</p>

<p>pillow raper for real? thats tight... y cant u get a white girl? do u even try, besides on CC?</p>

92

<p>Honey, the asians you're describing are probably FOBS...don't worry about them, they've only been around their own race so naturally they want to be near asians but the asian americans are of course "international". I'm korean american born and I have many types of friends; african americans, koreans, japanese, chinese, white, hispanic...and the list goes on and on</p>

93

<p>I'm a Korean guy and I like all kinds of people. It really depends on what the character is like, not the race. About being hard to date asian guys? they must be really shy. Me, I am not shy at all. Also, there are asians who feel safer and "at home" near their nationality. There are opposites too. Just wait. sooner or later, they all "americanize" and do what everyone else does. </p>

<p>I'll date you chrissy ;).</p>

94

<p>Awesome, ubi_sum! That makes THREE asian internet guys that would possibly date me. X)</p>

<p>Now, all I need are some at my school to think the same way ... haha.</p>

<p>thanks for all the responses guys!</p>

95

<p>look. trust me chrissy, ALOT of asian guys dig blue-eyed white girls. its just that a lot of them are the shy type and don't take the initiative.</p>

96

<p>i find all these asian guys throwing themselves at you online pretty funny.</p>

<p>Anyone else?</p>

97

<p>
[quote]
i find all these asian guys throwing themselves at you online pretty funny.</p>

<p>Anyone else?

[/quote]
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<p>Yeah, why don't you show that kind of boldness in reality?</p>

98

<p>i like any girls that have a nice personality and that are outgoing
it helps to have a nice body too... <em>superficial</em></p>

99

<p>might be better to hit the one u like most when he's alone... ppl act really different in groups of friends</p>

<p><em>cough</em> pm me</p>

100

<p>Last year I was kinda starting to become part of the "asian group", but was still in my white friends group. But then I slowly realized that my asian friends were much more intelligent, loyal, and real than my white friends. So this year I'm mostly friends with the asian people and in the group. Whenever I go out it's usually with asian people now, and I sit with them at lunch, before school, in classes, etc. I'm now basically the "smart white guy" with the asian people like seems to happen every year.</p>

<p>If you just make an effort they will accept you. But, I feel like you have to be at their level of intelligence in order for them to accept you. They sometimes do look down on those who aren't as smart as them.</p>

<p>Rarely they speak in Chinese in front of me, except if it's to joke around and they realize that I can't hear so that's the point. But if that happens I just get someone to translate anyway.</p>

<p>It seems like most relationships are asian girl and asian guy, but then some are asian girl and white guy. I can't think of even one asian guy and white girl relationship. Asians tend to stick to asians overall when dating.</p>