my early decision results come out next week and i have a really bad feeling in my stomach that i’ll be disappointed when they come out. This week all of my friends have been getting in, and i just don’t want to feel bad and jealous next week when i don’t. does anyone have any advice for bracing yourself for rejection and getting over it quickly even when everyone around you is accepted?
Remember that you’re about to embark on some of the best years of your life. Well over 90% of college students end up loving the school they attend. You’re either going to get into an amazing school, or be a big fish in a small pond at a school that’s still very good.
Ultimately, there are 20-30 schools that would be great fits for any given student, and you can only attend one. As long as you get into a college (and you shouldn’t be applying anywhere you wouldn’t be happy to attend), you’ll almost certainly love the next 4 years.
It’s disappointing for sure, but IMO it helps to know that it was likely meant to be and you’ll be happy where you finally end up.
My D was rejected from what she thought was her first choice and now that she is where she is, she’s really, really glad it worked out this way. She’s sure now, based on friends attending that previous first choice, that her place is much better for her. She’s thriving and taking advantage of opportunities unique to her school.
Be ready to submit the rest of your apps (if you haven’t already) . The best school for you might be in that group!
Assume you will be rejected from every school, and then you’ll be really happy when you get into even one.
My son planned to apply to 11 schools, and ended up getting into his ED school.
To be jealous about who got into where is ignoring that you don’t know a LOT about your classmates, unless they are telling not only 100% truth about grades and test scores, but also their life stories, all ECs, and sharing their essays with you, you don’t know why one would get in and another wouldn’t.
Recognize that your worth is not determined by a bunch of admissions officers. Embrace the schools that want you and go on to have a happy and successful college career.
Immerse yourself in the websites of schools you are likely to be admitted to. Learn to love them. Put the ed school out of your mind
Remember that often if you plan on continuing past undergrad education, you might get more research opportunities and closer relationships with professors as a high-achiever in a less impressive student body than you would as just another face in the crowd at your ED school.
A few practical tips in addition to the above excellent advice. Have your support system ready–tell your parents if you’re rejected, you’ll need them–or it could be a sibling or close friends or whatever–and do something fun and distracting the day you get your rejection (or the day after). Maybe it’s going to the movies or playing video games or whatever. Distract yourself with things that make you happy.
You can also embrace your angst–I like to throw on my favorite sad/angry music/playlist and just feel the feelings. Rant to someone close to you–not your friends who are also applying/getting in!–a neutral party who will listen, hopefully not offer platitudes, but let you get it out. Just don’t rehash over and over. Be sad/upset/annoyed/whatever for a few days, then let it go.
Be ready to apply RD to other schools once you’re heard. Taking proactive steps to apply elsewhere will be both distracting and empowering. And mostly, keep a sense of perspective, as someone else said: you are not where you do or don’t get into college. You’ll get in other places. You’ll go somewhere, and you’ll be fine. It’s not the end of the world!
Get Frank Bruni’s book, Where You Go is Not Who You Will Be. It’s the perfect antidote to the mania.
Lol I’m in the same position as you! The people I usually rant to just got in Caltech and Stanford, so rather than thinking about it, I’m just working harder on my regular decision apps while I wait for results.