How to convey passion in essays as someone who quite simply is not great at writing.

College Essays
21

@RandyErika I appreciate the feedback, I’ve gotten pretty good at communicating in person however communicating using written text still presents a challenge for me (why I’m here) and it seems that based on the overwhelmingly negative feedback on that post it would indeed not be wise to use that for my application.

22

@ab2002 Thanks for the feedback, I guess it was a good thing that I chose to post on here before actually placing that on my application.

23

@MatthewB11235: I like your essay.

Why do I like your essay ?

Two main reasons:

  1. It illustrates who you are.

  2. It shows intellectual curiosity. (This is the single most important quality sought by the most highly selective colleges & universities.)

P.S. Learning how to swim is actually important for boarding school & college admissions. I have seen what happens when an accidental drowning occurs on a campus.

24

I agree with showing intellectual curiosity. Probably every applicant is on science and math teams but I liked what you said about what appealed to you about MIT. Think about how you will highlight in your essay how you will fit into that culture and contribute.

And I agree about swimming being a skill that could be live saving. Cornell has the same requirement. All freshmen have to pass the swim test and if you can’t, you take swimming for the gym requirement. (And yep, there is a gym requirement to graduate from Cornell).

25

@MatthewB11235 Just to let you know, MIT dorms and even the dorm bathrooms are co-ed. Don’t know how you’ll be able to focus on your math and science with so many distractions, but hey, to each their own. Also, the swimming lessons will almost never be male-on-male or female-on-female, they will be co-ed. So you should think about that before deciding to apply…

26

@momofsenior1 And this is exactly why state universities are better. Ivy Leagues not only rip you off, but also make you take completely irrelevant courses like swim lessons. Not only does a mandatory swimming requirement go against the Americans with Disabilities Act, but it is also offensive to religions such as Hinduism and Islam.

27

@Publisher I appreciate the feedback/support!

28

@momofsenior1 I appreciate your feedback, and I plan on trying to work out how to best express how I will fit into their culture this weekend!