How to convince my bro that transferring is the best option?

Parents Forum
1

<p>This might be kind of long. Apologies.</p>

<p>Howard University has been my brother's favorite school ever since he visited the campus. I know it is not good to have a favorite but I really can't blame him since I did the same thing, although my list was more realistic than his. He did not apply to any schools in state. He applied to Drexel, High Point, Howard, and Robert Morris and although he was accepted to all of them, all the aid package were terrible.</p>

<p>Howard's financial aid was the last to arrive, but it wasn't much better than any of the other schools. He didn't get any institutional grants or scholarships, so after private scholarships, $5,300 Pell Grant, and max Staffords (sub and unsub), they offered a PLUS loan of $14,000. I don't know anything about my Dad's credit, but I doubt that he can afford to take out thata mount, if he even qualifies for a loan that big. (I don't know much about PLUS loans as I don't need any, but you still have to qualify for them, don't you?) </p>

<p>When my brother and I first saw that package, we panicked and started planning for him to transfer to an in-state school after first semester. If he does that, then the loan is only $7,000. However, when my bro told my Dad about the financial aid (not mentioning the bit about tranferring) all my Dad said was, "Oh, we'll work something out." </p>

<p>My bro assumed that meant that my Dad could take out the loan, and my bro has since abandoned the transfer plan. Whenever I bring it up, he tells me that I am just jealous (because he gets to go to his first choice school, and I am not going to mine--this is false; I have been over not going to Georgia Tech for a while now) or that I am being too negative, (I guess I can't argue with this one, but I've always believed in planning for the worst.) and we end up getting into an argument.</p>

<p>My bro is very sensitive and I am just trying to look out for him; if we do this plan, then he will at least get to go to Howard for a few months and maybe he won't feel so bad about this predicament. But I don't understand his logic; if it is even possible for my Dad to take out a loan that big for four years (which is isn't) then that means he would in excess of 55k in debt. I don't know my brother could expect my father to do that, especially when I don't even think he can afford one year!</p>

<p>So am I asking the parents of CC to help me out. How can I convince my bro that he needs to reconsider (and stick to) our original plan of transferring after one semester?</p>

2

<p>Hmmmm. Do I understand you correctly in assuming your bro hasn’t even started college? If you and he already have worries about how much he can afford, I strongly ask him to consider alternatives.</p>

<p>1) did you ask Howard to re-look at their scholarship? Getting their help in reducing your costs can go much farther than simply getting more loans
2) why didn’t your bro consider state schools? UMD is a great place for many, including my nephew who attends there and for you. Why not your brother? (That is, what does he expect to find at Howard he couldn’t get at UMD?)
3) before you even start a semester at Howard, why not consider a year or two at a community college? This is a great way (and cheapest) to get all those required core courses done and then transfer elsewhere.
4) don’t start for one semester just to leave the next. You need to make a commitment and a plan. Attending for just one semester could “look bad” to employers and it’s just a hassle.
5) in terms of attanding any college, it’s all about cost of attendance (CoA), which goes far beyond room & board & tuition. There’s books and getting there among other things.</p>

3

<p>How certain are you that your dad would have to take out the loan? Could he have some money saved or some other way to pay at least part of this that you don’t know about?</p>

<p>Another option would be for your brother to see if he can defer for a year, and live at home and work to earn money during a gap year to reduce the amount of loans needed. He might rather do that to having only a semester at his preferred school, then transferring. Or he might need to take a year off to earn some money, then go back after his freshman year.</p>

<p>It sounds, though, like your dad and brother do not consider this your issue to solve. You have talked to your brother, and he does not want you involved. Have you talked directly with your dad about your concerns about the total loan amount? I would think that is your next step – but if neither of them wants you involved, then there isn’t much you can do.</p>

4

<p>It’s nice that you are concerned about saving your father & your brother money. But this is their decision; you have no place in it. If you’re worried, ask your father to explain what he meant - is your brother’s assumption correct? Or does “work something out” mean more loans?</p>

<p>Otherwise, stay out of it.</p>

5

<p>personally i think, if the finances are an issue…which should be clearly defined… it would be better to just go to the state school from the beginning! transferring after one semester will mean he will just be settling in and then it is ripped away…to try and start again at a new school. dont really see what purpose going to the “dream” school for one semester would serve.</p>

6

<p>Lima: He will be starting college in the fall. He does plan on sending an appeal letter to Howard, hopefully that gets something. I don’t why he didn’t apply to any state schools. I doubt he will consider attending a CC; even though they can be affordable, they are looked down upon, and if you go to a CC you are seen as a bad student.</p>

<p>Intparent: We have no money saved. I know this because it came up when I got my award letters for my colleges. I’m not going to talk to my father about because, like you guys said, it’s not my money/problem.</p>

<p>Chedva: Honestly, that is probably what I will end up doing.</p>

<p>Thank you guys. =)</p>

7

<p>It sounds like the issue of transferring doesn’t need to be addressed now anyway.</p>

<p>One of the following will likely happen.</p>

<p>1) your dad will agree and qualify for the loans and your bro will go.</p>

<p>2) your dad won’t agree/qualify for the loans and he won’t go.</p>

<p>If number 2 happens, then your bro will have to go elsewhere.</p>

<p>It would be silly/insane for your brother to go to any school for one semester/year because his NEXT school will give WORSE aid.</p>

<p>If number 2 happens, your brother may need to consider a gap year and reapply. Transferring usually results in **worse **aid.</p>

<p>(While it’s not your “business”, this is your family, so do make sure that your dad knows that a transfer student gets WORSE aid. You do have a bit of a dog in the hunt…if your brother’s education ends up costing your family an unaffordable amount of money, it will likely affect you over the next 4 years. )</p>

8

<p>I don’t think your brother can start the transfer process yet. He really needs a semester at least of college to transfer. So let him go to Howard and let your parents feel the sting of that first semester bill. Honestly I don’t think that he is going to be able to get an app out and get accepted in time for that second semester anyways. Most transfers will be for the following fall at soonest. </p>

<p>Perhaps your father has decided to give the PLUS a whirl and your brother will get to spend the year there, and find some way to pay for the next year. At worst, he’ll end up taking a gap year at some point in time which a lot of kids do these days, and that might be what he needs to motivate him to focus on the transfer process.<br>
Sometimes people just don’t listen and you have to let them work it out. Don’t let your relationship with Dad and Bro sour because of this. Just leave it alone. You’ve said your piece, given your advice; the rest is up to them. Be glad you are all set with you college issues.</p>

9

<p>I can certainly understand the attractions of Howard, but this sounds like a very bad financial decision all around. I live in Montgomery County, and no one questions anyone’s decision to attend Montgomery College for two years before transferring somewhere else. Maybe things are really different in Baltimore, and your commuting-distance community colleges are in bad shape. Or maybe your brother is just surrounded by people who don’t know what they are talking about. If he’s good enough to get into Howard, he probably is good enough to get some merit-based money at Towson.</p>

<p>Here is a good calculator that you can share with your brother and/or your dad so that they can compare different financial scenarios: [FinAid</a> | Calculators | Award Letter Comparison Tool](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Award Letter Requirements - Finaid) There are more calculators at that website as well. If you can’t convince your family members to run their numbers through them, use them to run your own for yourself so that you can keep your own self out of financial trouble.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>