<p>I'm a Junior and I already have my main college list completed. My choices range geographically from Boston to Chicago to Washington D.C. as the boundaries so you get the idea of the spread.</p>
<p>My father is mentally obsessed with not allowing more than a "car drive" geographically towards my college of choice. I will likely be attending a college within a car drive anyways [I live in Central NY, I'll probally be going to either NYU or Columbia University or George Washington University], but some of my safety/lesser choices which I probally won't be attending but are needed matches/safeties that I truly like as well expand a bit further than his unclear geographical guidelines. Namely the cities of Chicago and Ann Arbor seem to suddenly overjump his funny geographical boundary ideas, and he immediatly goes into a angry rant about how he won't let me apply to those places.</p>
<p>Now, it's not like this is a major dispute about college plans since the only case the University of Chicago [Actually, in my heart, my 1st choice] and the University of Michigan will matter is if I get screwed by the other top schools I'm applying to and it comes down between them and my other safeties/matches which I already have a good amount set to choose from.</p>
<p>So how do I convince him to allow me to apply and explore these two universities? He allows me to apply to UPittsburgh but yet refuses UMichigan, which is only 30 minutes more of driving! I'm going to be applying to these schools no matter what, but I'd like to do so without making him flip out. Advice?</p>
<p>My parents were the exact same way. They wanted me to apply to say, UC Davis, but not to the Ivys. (With Davis, I could go home every weekend, which is what they wanted.)</p>
<p>I just sat them down and explained to them that 1) I would not lose contact with them even if I went to school in Chile 2) It was to my benefit and theirs (they want me to buy them a house in the Caribbean, right?) for me go to a school that would give me the best education and help me get the best job 3) It was my future and life --- where I went to school would impact me the most, and they had to realize that.</p>
<p>It took a while, but your dad, like my parents, will see the reason behind why you want to apply to where you want to apply.</p>
<p>It's almost 300 miles from Pittsburgh to Ann Arbor. If you can make that drive in 30 minutes, I'd say almost anywhere in the country should be in your reach!</p>
<p>lantern5 - the OP didn't say they were driving from Pittsburgh to Ann Arbor in 30 minutes. They said that driving from their home to Ann Arbor took 30 minutes more time than driving from their home to Pittsburgh. Since they live in central NY this is certainly a valid point.</p>
<p>Are your parents supporting you financially for college?</p>
<p>If so, I think you should listen to them...</p>
<p>It's not worth it to cause a huge fight when they're basically doing you a favor. Aren't there any safety schools in NY that you like? How about Fordham?</p>
<p>Well they aren't my kings so I have the authority to be allowed to reason with them. If in the end it comes that they won't accept it, fine, I might still get into somewhere like Yale and not have that problem. But in case not, I'm applying to those schools. Both are EA so this is coming up soon.</p>
<p>Is the issue cost of transportation or just physical distance? If it's the former, perhaps you could offer to pay the difference of an airline ticket vs. cost of gasoline for a 10-hr. r/t drive which would be approx. 600-700 miles. The gas for most cars (non-hybrid) would be $125 give or take. Your airline ticket could be as lttle as an additional $100-150. If you fly home 4 times during the school year that would be around $400-600 more than if you drove. </p>
<p>You could also add the cost of wear and tear on your parent's car as an added cost that flying would not entail as a further justification for the long-distance school.</p>
<p>A part-time/summer job would cover these costs IF it's really that important to you.</p>
<p>Maybe appeal to practicality- that Chicago and Michigan are easier to get into than Columbia and the other Ivies, and so make good backups. If he wants you in a good school, he may need to make compromises.</p>
<p>My D wants to apply to schools 2,000 miles away but I figure between email and cell phone I'll talk to her as much as I do now. Could there be something else going on psychologically with the particular places he doesn't like? Perhaps something bad happened to him in Chicago or he doesn't like certain sports teams. Your dad might also be getting opinions from friends and co-workers that are influencing him. I would suggest taking a little break and not mentioning colleges to him for a few weeks. Hopefully he will mellow a little as he gets used to the idea of you leaving the house. It is pretty traumatic for us parents. Also, have you had the junior year meeting with you, the high school guidance counselor and your parents? Maybe the counselor could help with talking to your dad about your college choices. It sounds like you have a lot of good schools to choose from. Good luck!</p>
<p>First, talk to your father and find out why he set these boundaries. What are his concerns? Ask him questions and listen respectfully. Don't respond with anything other than, "Thanks, Dad. You've given me something to think about." Then go back and think about what he's said. Give him a chance to convince you. If not, consider what about his objections you can answer. Perhaps setting a time each week to talk with him? Perhaps find alternative ways to get home if the airport is hit with a snow storm? Things like that.</p>
<p>And if you really don't want to go to Michigan except if the worst happens, then why apply there? Why fight with your father about it? Surely you can find a closer "safety school" that could offer you what Michigan does.</p>
<p>The family fight over school location (specifically Chicago, for the University of) is something all too familiar for me. My mom was convinced that every nice, charming school I could ever want was located in New Haven, Cambridge, or Providence.</p>
<p>Thankfully we understood each other's desires enough for her to see that the U of C was the best school for me, even though there were other, closer, more viable options, and even though she didn't understand the school's appeal-- she just saw my reaction to it. Perhaps visiting the school with parents in tow, having them take the trip themselves, and seeing how you react to the school, will change their minds or at least keep the option in there?</p>
<p>Practically, your parents might win, but I think there are a lot of neat schools nearby that have many U of C- like aspects. These schools include but are not limited to Cornell, Rochester, Skidmore, SUNY-Geneseo, SUNY-Binghamton, Bard, Vassar, Wesleyan. I think I would have been happy at any of those schools. The five-college consortium (Amherst, Smith, Mt. Holyoke, UMass, Hampshire) provides a lot of great options, and depending on where you are in New York, probably isn't that far from you, and neither is Williams.</p>
<p>If you're looking in the D.C. Area too, check out St. John's College in Annapolis. It would probably appeal to somebody who likes the U of C.</p>
<p>Well I'm saying while Michigan isn't my top choice, it's very close up there. </p>
<p>My dad is, sad to say, partially a bigot/racist in the European fashion. He has an extreme despiction of what he calls the "bible-thumping uncivillized south/midwest" and my beliefs and acceptance of people of other cultures and political beliefs is much more expansive than his. Partly for that reason is why he hates anywhere below PA and NJ [exception of Washington D.C., thankfully, I'm looking @ some nice schools there]. </p>
<p>Also he seems to have this stupid thing in his mind "what happens if you get in a accident somewhere and we need to go down there to see you?" Him, in his ignorance, doesn't realize that you can quickly book a plane ride and travel somewhere in 45 minutes in what it would have taken 4 hours to drive to, but he has no idea how modern business and technology works so he seems to prefer just to get the car and go whereever rather than flying - he has this weird fear of flights too.</p>
<p>In short, the problem is based almost completely on his personality. My mom is completely ok with anywhere for me though, but my dad is a very authoritarian/controlling figure, so my mom doesn't have any real say.</p>
<p>Did he say how long a car drive. I ask because in a 12-18 hour car drive you could get to UChicago. It takes about that to go from St. Louis to Philly, by-the-way. :)</p>
<p>[sarcasm]Gee, you show such maturity and compassion in seeing someone else's viewpoint. I'm surprised that he just doesn't say, "You're right."[/sarcasm]</p>
<p>If anything you've written comes through in your discussions with him, I'm surprised he's willing to consider college for you at all. Try not being such a spoiled brat, and try seeing things from someone else's view.</p>
<p>BTW, you may think it's not a big deal to just make a plane reservation and in 4 hours be wherever you want to be, but have you considered what a short timeframe plane ticket might cost? Try several thousand dollars. But I guess your father should just be happy to pay that for you to go to school that you really don't care that much about anyway.</p>
<p>No there isn't anything family healthwise. It's just his 'what if' situation. Sortof "what if a lightening bolt struck you while you were out on a plane?" - he's also afraid of riding planes too, apparently - "RFK was killed while he was on a plane!"</p>
<p>The problem however is that he also seems to slowly be confining the geographical borders as well. A Few months ago he was completely okay with northern Virginia and Delaware, but now suddenly he's ruled out northern VA and is shaky about Delaware. A while ago he was actually okay with Michigan [but still anti-chicago], but now he's anti michigan as well. I just don't want it to be that he suddenly just confines me to some abstract random border he just drew in his head.</p>
<p>In the end though it won't matter if I get into a top selective school anyway, but I always love backup plans.</p>
<p>If by "RFK" you mean Robert Francis Kennedy, he was shot by Sirhan Sirhan in the kitchen of a hotel in LA immediately after winning the California Democratic primary in 1968.</p>
<p>You keep saying that your father is "irrational." But he could easily say that you're irrational too: "He insists on going far away, to schools that no one will be able to visit, that we can't afford to get to if there's an emergency, when there are perfectly wonderful schools within driving range. So if he gets sick (OP - remember it's 4 years - you could easily get serious flu, mono, etc.), we can't help him. We can't come and see his activities; we can't be involved in his college life. But he won't budge; he thinks that he knows everything!" Now, how "rational" are you?</p>
<p>I can tell you as a parent that unless you stop your "I'll hold my breath until I die, and then you'll be sorry!" attitude, you will be unable to convince your parents of anything. You need to address, not dismiss, his concerns. That will require a major attitude change on your part. And the more you complain, stomp your feet, and basically have a toddler tantrum, the more restrictions your father will put on you. If you want to be treated like an adult, start acting like one.</p>