<p>i am currently a junior and i thought i could use other parents perspectives... my current list looks something like this...</p>
<p>cornell engineering, columbia seas, upenn seas, jhu, yale, mit, and tcnj (the college of new jersey) ... the problem here is that i really want to apply to cmu and northwestern and maybe even u chicago... but my parents won't let me apply to schools that are "too far" i live in jersey* but the thing is i really want to major in chemical engineering and those schools all have great programs... what can i do to convince them to let me apply to those schools?</p>
<p>My S had similar problem with me. Places 'too far' meant that I was emotionally not ready to 'let it go', and was also concerned that he will not be able to 'survive' in places far away.</p>
<p>He worked on me for a long time. He showed his independence, determination and drive. We had long 'discussions' - not yelling matches, in which he was calm and argued his case intelligently. Year and half later, I still don't want him to 'go far', but don't dislike the idea either.</p>
<p>Talk to your parents and work on their objections rather than just 'I want to go there' arguement. Don't expect to get it resolved in a week, prepare for months of negotiations. Good luck.</p>
<p>this has been ongoing for about a year now... i guess it could be a cultural thing (i'm asian) where my parents think that if they're gonna spend 40,000 it better be a good school... not knocking uchicago or northwestern... but they're not yale or mit... i don't know... my parents are pretty stubborn</p>
<p>yes but in that case every school in your list (exept) mit, has enigineering depts that are at par with NU and CMU (don't know much about Chicago). I haven't heard any one going to Yale for engineering. Work slowly, first get the idea of their opposition. For example, if it is location then JHU and UPenn aren't any different than Chicago or CMU. If it is distance, say that they are only $200 away. You expect to make about 5 trip a year, and you will work to earn that money. search this site for all those schools and many threads will give some good positive points about each schools. Do your homework on each school. </p>
<p>I know about 'azian' parents. I am one of those too. You may want to consider Wisconsin or Princeton for Chemical engineering. You may want to say that CMU and Chicago do offer some merit $$.</p>
<p>Oh, dem Asian parents (I'm speaking as one) and their hangups. You know - you come rushing home with a 97% score on your math quiz, and their first question is "What happened to that 3% ?"</p>
<p>But seriously, I would second what Simba said. Work on them slowly, patiently. Wear them down, like water dripping on a rock...</p>
<p>princeton... a little out of my league... harsher admission standards than yale* as for cmu, it's quite a distance from penn maybe 6 or 8 hours... the thing is they love penn because my sister goes there, and it's only an hour away... but i was thinking... if i don't get into the schools on my list what are my chances of cmu nw and uchicago? so i'm gonna wait it out... see how things pan out after the march 12 sat eek*</p>
<p>CMU, Northwestern and Chicago are all located in major cities which presumably have many cheap flights to an airport near you. Maybe you can work on getting them to allow you to apply to one or two of these - and then, if you're accepted, you can visit with your family. You might want to set up appts with the profs in the department of your major - and then you and they will get a good feel for the quality of the program and if it's a good fit for you. You never know...your parents might be persuaded. The reality is that when school is in session, your parents aren't going to see much of you. I live in a major college town -- and many kids in our town go to the university here. I hear over and over that in the first year, parents see their kids on the occasional weekend when the kids need a good night's sleep - and by the end of the sophomore year, parents only see kids on spring break. The other thing we have here is that kids who live in town often rent apartments in the summer -- so they're home less than if they went to school far away.</p>
<p>I would not put University of Chicago so very far below Yale on the prestige scale. It's certainly more intellectual than most ivies - and probably more demanding academically since it's primarily a graduate school. Plus, there are all those nobel prize winners.</p>
<p>thanks for all the thoughtful suggestions... and topcat i know they're all in major cities... but i think it's the fact that they want to "keep an eye on me" that's the problem... and i wasn't knocking uchicago, but truth be told, for the matter of prestige... which my parents claim they aren't seeking... is much lower than the others on the list...</p>
<p>I agree with topcat.<br>
I suggest really researching the schools. Discuss the specifics of each school rather than argue about "prestige" in the abstract.
Tell your parents you need not only reaches, but also matches and safeties. This will include the schools that are your parents' choice but yours as well. Look for merit aid or financial aid. Your parents may well be swayed by a financial argument. Emphasize that what counts is not sheer distance but also ease of travel and cost. For example, for us, living in Boston, Cornell is not any more convenient than Berkeley and not any cheaper to travel. Travel to Chicago, however, is both more convenient and cheaper. By the time you have to decide which to attend, perhaps your parents and you will have come to some agreement.</p>
<p>thanks once again... i will take all ur suggestions adn put them to work! the way i have it now is actually not terrible... i have my 2 uber reaches in yale and mit... my semireaches in penn cornell and columbia... and my, i hate saying this, safety as TCNJ... ;)</p>