<p>I've been going to a CSU for about 1 semester now and I've been doing fine living on campus and what not, but that's because my mother is only 1 hour away, so when the weekend came, I just went home. Now my mom just got another job assignment to Okinawa, Japan, but this time she's going by herself, which leaves me by myself in California. How exactly do I cope with this? I don't want to be crying and depressed when she leaves in March. I will be seeing her in late May when school ends but I'm not used to my mom being so far away from me unless it's a vacation. I have been away from my parents for summer vacations while we lived in Tokyo, but I stayed with my late-Grandmother back then and we were really close so it didn't really affect me. I have a Aunt but she's unreliable when it's time to do things for people like for example; I would come out here for vacation and she would say she'd come pick me up and never come. I don't want to have to deal with that when my mom is away. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.</p>
<p>It’s nice you have such a close relationship with your mom, and I can imagine this makes you anxious and worried, especially with an aunt who may not pick you up if she says she will. All I can offer is that perhaps with all the technology available like Skype, etcetera, it’s possible to still feel like your mom is very close, even when she is across the ocean. You mention other times when you have been separated, so remind yourself that you have done ‘okay’ and that you will always be able to see your mom on breaks, right? Have you talked to your mom about ideas on how to feel connected while she relocates? Do you have any good friends who are at school with you and who can act as ‘surrogate parents’ while you are alone? I would certainly do that if my daughter asked me to do it for a friend. I am sure others will post some great advice here for you.</p>
<p>One word, Skype. If you’re not involved in organizations that meet during the weekend, I’d recommend looking into joining at least a few. Things like Habitat for Humanity, religious clubs, and outdoors organizations often provide an excellent structure and in the cases of Habitat and outdoors clubs, a chance to focus on other things for at least one day. Since you go to a larger commuter school, it may be more difficult to find on campus organizations which do these things, but there are a ton of groups in the valley which go on weekend excursions, volunteering trips, etc.</p>
<p>Do you plan on doing a semester of study abroad? Think of this as being the same kind of thing, except that your mom is going instead of you, and maybe the distance will be easier on you.</p>
<p>Concentrate on the fact that your mom will not be out of touch with you, just out of immediate reach. You can always email or skype. </p>
<p>Take a look around campus and realize that a good number of your friends manage just fine on campus without seeing their parents for a whole semester at a time.</p>
<p>Think about what a great career opportunity this is for your mother.</p>
<p>concentrate on the good things, and fill your mind with positive thoughts.</p>
<p>You will be just fine if you let yourself be.</p>
<p>@lawrencemom & @whenhen I’m trying to persuade her to atleast try it while she’s away. I’m going to teach her how to use it on her computers so if she decides that she wants to Skype, she can. I know she’s always on facebook, but I’m not the type to be on there 24/7 like her lol ;), so I guess this’ll give me a reason to be on Facebook more often :). I will be visiting my mother in May when school lets out and if I recall she said she’d come out here in December… so I know we won’t be separated for that long, maybe I’m just thinking too much into it. My mother’s old boss said that I could go to her house on holidays if I want… The thing is it’s just been me and my mother for holidays, I feel like that’s when it’ll really hit me hard.</p>
<p>@boysx3 Last semester I was thinking about doing a semester study abroad, but I decided against it because I thought it would prevent me from graduation on time.</p>
<p>You should take your mom’s boss up on her offer - that’s what people do for each other and she might just want to substitute mother you a little bit. So you DO have a bit of a support system already offering their assistance and don’t be afraid to accept.</p>
<p>smurray, I am glad you decided to stay on track for graduation. But I want to remind you–had you been able to fit in the abroad study, you would have been away from your mom–and you would have been fine. And you will be fine this way as well.</p>
<p>Actually, I think it’s good that you are facing your issues upfront, because this way they won’t ambush you. There certainly will be times when you will miss your mom more than usual–but you are strong, and resourceful, and you will develop strengths you don’t realize you have.</p>
<p>You are a wonderful daughter to love your mother so much, and she would not take this opportunity unless she had full faith in you and your ability to grow in independence. She is giving you a great vote of confidence.</p>
<p>Another thing to consider is spending holidays with any friends you have around you. Sometimes for holidays, there would be groups of people that weren’t able to go home for whatever reason, and we would get together and throw our own orphan holiday. They were always lots of fun, and that’s something else you could consider to make the holidays a little less lonely. Yes, you may still miss your mother, but I’ve found the busier people stay, the less homesick they get. I know a lot of people had fun trying to recreate the traditions they would do at home–with mixed success. Trying was the fun part, though.</p>
<p>I am glad you are getting such great ideas here, smurray09; sounds like it’s going to work out well! I must admit I am still ‘friends’ w/my D on FB, and today I posted something silly and then took it down because I knew she’d hide it anyway. It was a great tool for messaging while she was in Europe, but I need to restrain myself on it now that she is back in the U.S.A. and at her home college. I have discovered that having her away from me in Europe without texting/phoning all the time taught her much more independence, too, and she doesn’t connect with me as often. She would often msg on FB, “I wish we could talk” but we could only message, and so she became accustomed to that. While you have a loving/wonderful relationship with your mom, in the end this separation period may help you grow in new ways, too. Thanks for posting back to all of us here re: the ideas for staying connected with her. :)</p>
<p>@lawrencemom thanks for the advice! Yea, my mom says I can call her, but I’m not sure how since she’ll probably have a Japanese number unless she gets something like Vonage. I think she wants me to be more independent also, she says that we’re too dependent on each other, and I guess she’s right since we’re always together.</p>
<p>@baktrax, I don’t really have a whole lot of friends at my school but I guess now is the best time to try and make some lol. I know I’ll be busy with working 3x a week and having classes 4 days a week, so staying busy probably won’t be a problem.</p>