How to deal

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Hi guys, just wondering if you could help me out with something.</p>

<p>I usually have no problem asserting myself in situations with no looming threat. For example, whenever my boss yells at me, I can stand my ground. Basically, "Hey, take it easy. Mr __________, you're a very professional man, a great person, and a wonderful friend. You know I don't deserve this. You're better than this." Etc. And then I usually get an apology.</p>

<p>But today, I experienced something different. I was wandering around the public library looking for the Brown alumnus who was supposed to be interviewing me. I saw a really attractive girl and two jocks (idk how else to describe them). The jocks were basically saying "sup $%#$" and gave the girl the middle finger. The girl looked annoyed. Then, the jocks got up and left.</p>

<p>That was when it began to get interesting. I was still wandering around looking for my alumnus, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I bumped into the jocks who were just returning. One of them shoved me, and then said: "What the #$%$ are you looking at?" I didn't know how to respond, so I basically explained the situation quickly and laughed it off. They left me alone, walking out, snickering to themselves.</p>

<p>The girl basically told me "Don't worry about them. They're !@#holes," but I know that there's much better ways to deal with similar situations. I might have also upset her with my lack of experience in the situation. Of course, I'd like to avoid fighting if at all possible, but I still really want to assert myself.</p>

<p>This is probably my first time being in such a situation, so anecdotes and advice is much appreciated. I want to learn something from this experience that I can take with me for the rest of my life.</p>

<p>My friends basically said that when the "jocks" pushed me, I should have been like "Hey. Watch it." When they then ask if I want to fight, then that's when I should say something like "Hey, relax. Take it easy."</p>

<p>What do you guys think? I appreciate any and all responses. Thanks in advance =D</p>

2

<p>What, did you not have your sword on you? I’d just have taken mine out and given them a few warning slashes, perhaps slight dismemberment, etc.</p>

3

<p>I thought this stuff only happened on TV.</p>

4

<p>^LOL! But please guys. Serious, substantial advice please; I desperately need it. Difficult people who pose no real threat are easy to deal with, but I have to learn how to deal with these guys who pose an immediate physical threat.</p>

5

<p>I would have tried to hook up with the girl… but okay. We can worry about the jocks if you want…</p>

<p>its simple.</p>

<p>pop
a
cap
on
does
fools.</p>

<p>but seriously. if you cant beat them in a fight, dont start one. I know I can’t. laught it off and move on. The girl was on your side, how do you not just stay and chat with her…</p>

6

<p>1) Talked to her for a while, but then she had to leave.
2) My alumnus never showed up. Here’s his email, I quote:</p>

<p>(My name),
I sincerely apologize- there was an unexpected death in my family yesterday and I had to go to Maine. I am very sorry for wasting your time this evening, I am still in Maine and would, of course, like to reschedule, perhaps for early next week?
Please let me know when you have time.
Again, I am very sorry- I completely forgot about our meeting this evening.
Sincerely,
(alumnus’ name)</p>

<p>Poor guy :(</p>

<p>3) I was asking if there was any way of asserting myself short of starting a fight.</p>

7

<p>Your interviewer was probably one of the jocks.</p>

8

<p>^In any other situation, I would have laughed at that comment, but the guy just had a death in the family. Take it easy. Please offer substantial advice ;)</p>

9

<ol>
<li> bummer</li>
<li> wow… I feel for him.</li>
<li> if you’re dealing with hot headed people, no. If not, yes.</li>
</ol>

10

<p>Damn lol, if only I had my friends with me. They’re mostly jocks/athletes. In any case, thanks for the advice.</p>

<p>Btw, @futurexecutive, the jocks were around 16 with beards. I seriously doubt Mr. Van Ness, Brown 02, would have looked like that.</p>

11

<p>I’m just joking lol</p>

12

<p>^Haha, I kno</p>

13

<p>1) I agree, this sounds like it’s from TV
2) Hook up with the chick, forget the jocks. You handled it fine enough.</p>

14

<p>Solution: Get big</p>

15

<p>^@Fallenangel, Thanks man. I appreciate the compliment. But there’s still that pit in my heart; the wounded pride is hard to let go of.</p>

<p>@Franticpizza, Big isn’t my style. I’m the bookish, politiciany kinda guy.</p>

16

<p>stop it with the smart talk.
punch whoever is irritating you.</p>

17

<p>^Satisfying, sure, but not the smartest idea. Don’t wanna get the crap beaten out of me in the middle of a library. I wanna keep my balls.</p>

18

<p>I’m a mom. Have to say you did the right thing. If you bumped him, just say, “Excuse me, I was looking the other way” and walk away. I tell my kids, “When people get down and dirty, rise above it and don’t go down there with them”. If they are looking for a fight, they will find one and you don’t want to be a part of it. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help the girl out if she needs it or take any physical abuse. Those guys are pretty sad if they are pushing people around in a library and they may not be aware that there are probably carmeras around. </p>

<p>Years ago, I had a friend who grew up in the projects and he told me that his dad told him, “Don’t start nothin’ and don’t take nothin” but I wouldn’t consider verbal threats to be worthy of a fight. Sometimes you just have to walk away.</p>

19

<p>Ok. Double post. But I’m going this is one is actually serious.</p>

<p>I’m a typical asian boy. Glasses, violin, calculus, chemistry… First, those dumb guys at the library is just a random case. There’s no way to deal with them. I usually just do a quick stare and keep going. Don’t ever stop. If you stop, that shows that you care and then they attack you. If you keep going, they will forget you in like 50 seconds.</p>

<p>As for me, I get along just fine with the jocks and popular guys. I’ve long established myself… and you should do that too. If you meet a new person, and you feel kinda iffy, keep the conversation short. The less they know about you the less they can talk back. If a person starts haggling you a little, just say OK, shrug, and keep going your way. They’ll be slightly stunned that you just said OK. By saying OK (and keeping your emotions down) you can easily avoid large confrontations.</p>

<p>Therefore, now I’m known as a nice, studious kid who can take a “meanish” joke. And if you talk with a rich, snobby tone/vocabulary stop it immediately. (I don’t know if you do, but just in case…) ^__^V</p>

20

<p>^Thank you, chauffeur, for the productive advice. I’m so glad to know that I did the right thing.</p>