<p>Poeme, You heard people complain about the Caltech parties? Really?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But note that at many schools, particularly larger ones, it is common for upperclass students to live off-campus, leaving the dorms mainly filled with frosh.</p>
<p>As to your wedding story, when we got married 28 years ago, my parents were so concerned about liability for drunk drivers, they refused to have even a cash bar. Only champagne and wine with dinner. Some people (my young friends) still managed to get drunk. I think the hosts of the wedding you attended put themselves in a dangerous situation.</p>
<p>It might not fit his personality, but Boston University takes a tough stance when it comes to parties in dorms. It is technically a dry campus. And it is pretty good in the sciences.</p>
<p>Years ago, a poster here on CC made the comment on āhow many friends will you have in college?ā If he is at a LAC with 1800 students or a state school with 40,000ā¦it doesnāt matter which school he is at, he will find his kind at either and beome BFFs for life. Might be 2 or 10, but he will find his niche at whatever school he attends. I personally would let him go to where he wants (of course in your budget.) He will be fine and find his way. IMO, if you micro manage his decision, it may come back to bite you in the boohiney.</p>
1 Like
<p>The person I spoke with the most about his experience at Caltech wanted a more traditional college experience i.e. frat parties/alcohol etc. </p>
<p>After reading most of this thread, I agree with the Macalester, Brandeis, Grinnell, Earlham, URochester, Beloit and Haverford recās as schools that would have like-minded, socially conscious students.
Given his music interests, have you explored Lawrence as another possibility?</p>
<p>I also agree that as long as heās looking primarily at the schools which have majors that would foster the kind of global thinking heās interested in, his social life will probably be just fine.</p>
<p>Hop, I had not explored Lawrence. Iād never heard of Lawrence. I googled it, and now Iāve spent almost an hour on their website. I think Iām in love! I loved everything I saw, it comes across as a very friendly, collaborative, open environment. The conservatory does offer opportunities for participation in ensembles. The symphonic band is 25% non-conservatory students. I couldnāt tell about the jazz band. If you get into an ensemble, you get free private lessons. Unfortunately, you donāt find out whether or not youāve gotten in until after you audition in the fall of freshman year. Their science programs have an established research program, including 10-week summer internships with Lawrence alumni at universities around the country. They have a five-year double degree program (music + something else). Obviously I would have to look at how their graduates do in grad school/med school admissions, and get a better idea about the opportunities for non-music majors. It wasnāt clear to me how this would work for piano. I read some entries on the Conservatory deanās blog, loved this one:</p>
<p><a href=āhttp://www.lawrence.edu/conservatory/deans_desk/everything_i_knowā>http://www.lawrence.edu/conservatory/deans_desk/everything_i_know</a></p>
<p>Thank you for the introduction!</p>
<p>My D2 was admitted to Lawrence (and got nice merit aid there, too). They have some qualities your son might be looking for; the campus garden is really nice (my D was very taken with the possibility of helping with bee keeping). But there is a significant āfrat-typeā element on campus, too. That is one reason I didnāt mention it before, although it certainly has the music element he would like. You should try to visit and see how he likes it. It is a little out of the way, but you could check out Beloit, Oberlin, and Earlham in the same trip. :)</p>
<p>That does sound like a good trip, and we could look at U Wisconsin, as well. Iām surprised to hear about the frat element at Lawrence - it seemed like an idyllic place. </p>
<p>Well, donāt forget, you are reading marketing materials, the things colleges WANT you to see on their website. Every college has a brandā¦ part of the challenge of the college search process is to try to see past what they are marketing to what they are truly selling. 
</p>
<p>intparent and NYMom, I know several kids at Lawrence (all boys) and none of them are in frats. The son of one of my best friends is there in the dual-degree program (he is an accomplished musician). I wouldnāt consider any of these kids āpartiersāāthey are fun and social but take their academics seriously. The music program is incredible from what I have heard.</p>
<p>bookmama, We will definitely look at Geneseo when we tour Rochester. I am virtually certain that Wesleyan is way out of reach, judging from the kids I know who were not admitted (all top students, and for some it was the first choice). DH would be against DS applying there in any case - Wesleyan rejected him all those years ago, the only school to do so. He was even accepted to Berkeley after junior year and he went to Harvard (and Berkeley for grad school). He is still bitter about Wesleyan!</p>
<p>Caltech is also out of reach, and he wouldnāt want the MIT/Caltech kind of school, anyway.</p>
<p>GA2012mom, He will definitely be the one to make his own choice. He is bewildered by the huge number of schools, as I was when I suddenly had to think about this a few months ago (when his chem teacher suggested that he take the SAT 2, and we had to look into whether he was likely to apply to a school that required them). Iāve received a tremendous amount of help from CC, not only in identifying possibilities. Iāve also learned about many factors I hadnāt considered. I plan to discuss the choices openly with my son as we go through the process, to help him figure out what is important to him, what he wants, what he doesnāt want. The only factor that I will try to influence him about is grad/professional school admission record. Even if he doesnāt think heāll want to go on, I want him at a school where he will have a good chance of admission if he does decide on grad school. In terms of the social atmosphere, Iāll let him know whet Iāve found out, so that he can think about whether he wants a school where almost everyone gets drunk every weekend, or not.</p>
<p>I agree with the accumulating list of schools, but ask you to take a closer look at St. Olaf; it seems to have dropped out of consideration. DD just graduated, and most of her friends have taken jobs to further a wide variety of social causes. She and friends spent many a night having deep, intellectual talks on any and everything, and also a lot of fun (but FYI DD doesnāt āpartyā). The school takes its role as a residential college seriously, and therefore schedules many, many activities and serves fantastic, environmentally friendly food. They even have a student-run nightclub with concerts/entertainment (frequently students) many nights of the week. Look at their Science Conversation program (for 2nd yr students)āI wish I had had this option! Their science building is my all-time favourite (Iām a scientist; I have checked out science buildings all over the country), and their music and study-abroad opportunities are renowned. SorryāI got carried away! This ends my public service announcement. Ideally your son will find his ātribeā and heāll continue to flourish. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>Thanks for chiming in, sally305. What is the other major of your friendās son? Do you know anything about the experiences of non-music majors who want to participate in the band, etc?</p>
<p>Of course youāre right, intparent! Iāll rely on my good friends here at CC to help me see through the marketing!</p>
<p>oldmom, emilybee, ubcalum, flossy, you raise some good points (#143-148). I donāt think heās likely to go wild when he gets to college, under any circumstances, but I will think about whether it might be better for him to first experience alcohol at home.</p>
<p>St. Olaf has a decidedly conservative bent. The kids I know there (and we feed a lot of kids into that school from our high school) are generally āMinnesota niceā, but they are not particularly into social justice or animal rights causes. Maybe superficially, but it will be a small tribe (if they are there at all) that care as seriously as the OPās son cares about these things. He would find a more like-minded group at Carleton (but maybe doesnāt have the stats?). </p>
<p>UW and Lawrence are vastly different. Son did a state GT program when it was held on the Lawrence campus so I have walked it- so very small. Appleton also small as a city. Nothing in comparison to the UW campus which has so much more to offer! Plenty of socially r3sponsible people at UW as well. Beloit is not a nice city relative to the rest of the state, the school may be a nice LAC, butā¦</p>
<p>LBowie, would it be the bride/groom who would be responsible for any consequences stemming from drunken guests, or the party venue whose police appears to be to continually push drinks on people? It would not seem fair for the bride/groom to be responsible, as they canāt possibly monitor the amount of liquor consumed by the guests.</p>
<p>@NYMomof2ā have you taken a look at Case Western?..they are known for great merit $$, definitely predominantly serious students, yes they have Greek life but it is low key and a bit on the nerdy side (said in the best possible way) and has music opportunitiesā¦</p>
<p>But @wis75 has never met an LAC he liked, or a large research university he didnātā¦</p>