How to Get Excited About Your College Choice...

Parents Forum
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<p>Well, it's said all the time on here that the college you enroll at will become the one you're most excited about...</p>

<p>I am still quite bitter about having to turn down some great schools to attend my local state uni (parents forced me to pick the cheapest option). I know this was the best, most practical decision, but I was so excited about the culture shock of going to a new state and city. I try to get amped about my new school, but it's tough when I hear that so many of my friends are going off to places like Harvard or NYU or California.</p>

<p>I don't want this bad attitude to haunt me for the rest of the year...and especially not next year! What can I do to get excited about college again?</p>

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<p>Find the facebook page for new admits and get talking.. If there isn't one, make one. Get on the school website and look around. Make the college newspaper internet edition one of your favorite sites. Read on the web about whats offered. Learn the website and all that it offers. There is so much going on and you will be ahead of the game if you read about it now. Visit the onine bookstore. Buy a t- shirt, a few magnets or a school flag. If there are student blogs, take part.</p>

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<p>Learn as much as you can about what awaits you at your new school: check out the catalog, the website -- there are doubtless some wonderful classes and opportunities for extracurricular activities you will like. Your college has so much to offer that it isn't worth dwelling on what some other person might be enjoying somewhere else. This sounds like a silly pep talk, but think about it -- if your parents "made you" do this it was probably for sound financial reasons that are important to their, and to your, future. There is lots to be grateful for.
I also see that you have gotten similar messages as I wrote this! Great minds think alike. Ditto about the shirt.</p>

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<p>Go to the school's website and re-read the brag page where they tout all of their achievements and great programs. They will do all of the bragging for you LOL
Get a great shirt and wear it proudly!
Sometimes you can also find beautiful books with the history of the school and lots of great photos. Maybe something like that on your coffee table will help!</p>

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<p>This will be your home for the next few years, so start resaerching what there is to do at school/in the area outside of classes. From the school's website, you may be able to check out the various organizations and clubs that are available, and can start to plan out what ECs you might want to get involved in, you could even contact those groups if possible for additional information or answers to questions. Some schools hold new student orientations during the summer. Attending orientation will also help to generate enthusiasm for your school; and if possible you can give yourself some extra time while at orientation to get to know your new city (especially if it is a large city).</p>

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<p>Don't forget to go to the school's forum right here on CC, too.</p>

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<p>If the school's website has a section on Alumni, see if they have a list of their famous alumni, or opportunity to write to the director of alumni for same.</p>

<p>There are always surprises there, sometimes very famous and acccomplished people in every field. This is especially true from the state universities as so many people chart their own course starting right from there. Whether it's attorney/Harvard professor Alan Dershowitz (who started at City University of New York, I think) or Edie Falco (lead actress on the Sopranos who started at State University of New York at Purchase), you will see how undergraduates at state and local universities go on to amazing lives. Take pride, brag about them, and imagine yourself great someday, too.</p>

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<p>Ah, it seems like I've known everything about this college since the day I was born...Dad is an AVID alum (he got me the course selection book back in December, the car is littered with bumper stickers, and I've got a whole drawer of sweatshirts and t-shirts), I have a lot of good friends there, and I visit campus 2 or 3 times a month. </p>

<p>I know it's a decent school and that I'll be successful (I was never a prestige whore like a lot of CC...hehe), but nothing about it seems new and exciting at all. I wish there was a way to spice things up a bit. I get really down when things seem routine <em>sigh</em>. I worked so hard in highschool to make sure I'd be able to see and do new things when I graduated. I feel like even if I work my butt off for the next four years, I'll never get out of this town.</p>

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<p>Attitude going in will effect your decision. YOu are lucky if you are not getting yourself in debt. Rejoice that you have the opportunity to go to college. If you aren't happy and want to take out loans for the difference ask to transfer....Don't get caught up in the prestige element or the offers.....but realize you can go in and make it a great education. My husband made the accounting dept create an honors degree b/c they did not have one....professors love students like you. Get involved in undergrad research and make a difference. Start saying you are excited. YOu will get there!</p>

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<p>Go read the thread about Debt and then realize why your parents are "FORCING" you to make the "Cheapest" option. Parents shouldn't be obligated to take out major loans and jeopardize their retirement incomes so their kid can go to their "Dream" school. Nor should students have to face debts of over $100,000+ for an undergrad degree.</p>

<p>Just because you think you know everything about the school - you'll probably be very surprised at the things you don't know.</p>

<p>Take the advice I always give to my kids when they would complain about a class or teacher.... Find something you love about the class because you're going to be there the entire year.</p>

<p>ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!! Just remember that to some other kid - where you're going is their dream school. And don't be surprised if by your junior year at your state school you run in to plenty of those kids that started out somewhere else ---- the grass isn't always greener....</p>

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<p>It seems from your posts that what's lacking for you is the sense of adventure that would have come with going to a more distant, less familiar school.</p>

<p>Perhaps you could make up for this by starting to plan now for a semester or year abroad or for a semester or year at some off-campus special program within the United States.</p>

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<p>Whether your school is on the other side of the country -- or up the road, it's still its own, peculiar world totally different from your own. And if it's like most state Us, the school will be big enough to allow you to forge your own group of totally different friends than the ones from 'back home'. In the meantime, find out as much as you can about your school (and not through Dad - get fresh info from other sources); tap into school life through online forums here and on other college sites; strike up online conversations/friendships with future freshmen - through face book, etc - and make it clear to Mom & Dad that you WON'T be home for every weekend. </p>

<p>Chin up - it'll be great. Who knows, maybe you'll be sending your son there someday :)</p>

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<p>Actually, to me, your heart seems in the right place. You want to make this alright and you are trying but you are still mourning the loss of other dreams. So, you have to work on making new dreams.</p>

<p>From what you have said, it would appear that leaving the confines of "the known" is the most important thing to you. Since you know the school so well, make it your goal to research the unknown. Make a game of it. What organizations does the campus have that might travel to competitions or conventions? For instance, the anime club at the local university here raises funds to go to conventions. What do you know about the overseas study options at this University? That will open up the new and unusual. And who knows, your soulmate may end up sitting in front of you in one of your classes in the next four years.</p>

<p>Oops, cross posted with all the other saying the same thing.</p>

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<p>Yeah, that's right, I'm just trying to come up with new ways to put a positive spin on things :). Thanks.</p>

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<p>You are right to try to work on this now. That part is good. </p>

<p>It occurs to me that you do not (yet) know a single, solitary person who will be among your classmates! Focus on the PEOPLE. </p>

<p>When you meet them next August, standing in a dorm hall, and they'll be so full of excitement they could plotz, what will they see in YOUR eyes? If you hold enthusiasm at arms' length, give them the body language that they're dorks to feel happy, and you're all "Meh, been there, done that since I was l0" ==even if you feel it and don't say it, the shrug of the shoulders tells others what you're feeling. Guess who won't become a new friend? They'll look down the hall for matching excitement and you'll be out in the cold. Is that really what you want?
(oh, self, stop with this guilt trip. this kid is smart enough to see through it)</p>

<p>But if you never get to know that person, you're missing out on their entire world, all the places they can take you (including to their home for a holiday and that = travel far, espec if you offer your nearby home hospitality when they can't get all the way home, like for a 4-day long weekend). Especially great for the international or cross-country students re; Thanksgiving, or the 3-day holidays. Be generous and make a friend from...X state, X country. Then use the bucks you're saving to fly out to their family's home for Spring break or summer overseas...you name it. My brother and I (back in the day) and now my own kids prefer to bring friends home with them for vacations. I know it buffers them from having to deal so much with same-o, same-o here. They enjoy seeing their friends react to our family style: the dog, art, yard, etc. We welcome them. Sometimes they go far to others' homes. My S got to visit New Orleans just before Katrina hit, staying at the home of a classmate, b/c he had the funds to hop on a plane. You'll have that freedom. And she showed him everything there that only an insider could know! In fact a whole group went together to her home. (this was his senior year, her soph year). My S could afford a plane ticket but not a week in a hotel! INstead, he got a great week in a city that'll never be quite the same. Imagine the possibilities. Who will you meet next fall, and where are they from.</p>

<p>Aside from geography, there's the whole world of interests that people can bring you into. If you know nothing (yet) about music, art, theater... you might meet someone majoring in that. A whole new world will open up to you, through them. </p>

<p>Each person is an entire universe of experience. </p>

<p>You also know your region very well and can project such generosity and hospitality. For example, there's are colleges in upstate new york, and one town I know of (with Cornell and Ithaca College) has a slogan, "Ithaca is Gorges" because there are so many waterfalls around there. Well, some kids actually grew up around there and would know the best places of all. Everyone coming would want to explore that up, and the hometown person would be best positioned to be a social leader especially at the beginning.</p>

<p>Some kids won't care and their idea of exploring is finding the nearest vending machine, but others will be curious.</p>

<p>Maybe you can turn your angst inside-out and become part of a greeting or welcome group. Everyone else will be totally lost and so on the first 2 weeks, but you could project calm and reassurance. Is there a welcome committee run by upperclassmen for new freshmen that you could be part of?</p>

<p>Somehow I feel you're not going to take this idea in well tonight, b/c you're still steamed about not going far away. But what everyone says is that after several months, EVERY student feels as though college is their home. Thje parental home isn't
home anymore. So, at that point, the playing field will be levelled for everyone, including all your friends who are going far away. Everyone is just moving but after half a year, even their "excitement" will taper off and you'll ALL be "at home" wherever you are. They'll be no better off than you, following the initial surge of excitement for them.</p>

<p>And I agree with another poster, strongly: don't go home as often as Mom wants/expects/asks you. No need for a speech or confrontation; just be happily too busy to drive across the county. Depending on her personality, if she's open you could consider a heart-to-heart. Say that it would help you bond with the other students if you were more like them and not beholden to home. Ask her to restrain herself. She wants you to like the place more than she needs to visit you, so maybe together you can agree to visiting limitations/boundaries for the sake of your happiness and adjustment. She really shouldn't take that personally; it's not personal to her. If she doesn't get it, see if she has a sister or girlfriend, someone to talk sense into her about that point. </p>

<p>My kids are good and loving, and have great credibility in my eyes. So on those rare occasions when they have to tell me, nicely, to back off, I see how rare are these requests and I DO listen. I wouldn't know it unless they clue me in, however. </p>

<p>Good luck. Give it time and keep working on it. You haven't found the answers yet, and prob'ly I didn't give you much of one. But you are asking the right questions.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Focus on the PEOPLE.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Wow, good point.</p>

<p>That was a /really/ inspiring post. Life /is/ about who you meet, not where you go...</p>

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<p>If you liked my post, sometime this summer read Martin Buber, "I and Thou." He's my guru, if a jewish philosopher can be a guru!
He talks about the difference between relating to people as "I-It" (objectifying them) "I-You" (functional but limited relationship) and best of all, "I-Thou" which is a sacred space between two friends.
It's not hard to read, maybe 100 pages and written for an easy summer day with a glass of lemonade.</p>

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<p>Ah Martin Buber! I went to a school that had "chapel" every morning. The headmistress generally read from the Bible, the assistant was fond of Martin Buber. I should read him now, I don't think I listened very well back then.</p>

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<p>Lol Buber...bad memories.</p>

<p>Anyway, as for building up excitement: talk to current students, explore the school website and course offerings, immerse yourself in the school basically. And avoid talking or reading about other colleges that you wanted to go to.</p>

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<p>It actually sounds like you are in a tough, painful situation---you had dreamed of going away to school, worked for it, and persevered, only to have it snatched away from you by someone else's decision. Part of you must mourn this loss. Don't belittle the sadness you may have because of this. It is certainly real.</p>

<p>With that said, it's important to find a way to get what you wanted in another way. I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you follow the advice of those who suggested that you go on a study abroad program. I know a guy who went to University of Wisconsin and hated it; he did 4 different study abroad programs and was only there for about 3 semesters. Now, he's at graduate school at Yale. If you want an adventure, get away from that campus that is so familiar (and probably will be stifling for you). Go to Oxford. Go to a school where you must speak a foreign language (Spanish? French? German? Swahili?). Go to Asia. </p>

<p>If this sounds exciting to you (and it sounds exciting to me!), check with the study abroad office now, before you start, and see if you can come up with an academic plan that includes a lot of transferred credits. If they are not helpful, go online to studyabroad.com or one of the other sites (search for "study abroad") and find out where you can go, how credits will transfer, etc. Also, you can often get grants/financial aid through your local university that will pay for the school abroad. Your diploma will say "Local State U", but you can also list on your resume that you studied in a few other countries. No matter what job you go for, that will look very good. </p>

<p>Disappointment is a terrible feeling, and I'm very sorry that your college process did not involve you being shipped off to an amazing place. But you can definitely turn this around and find a way to have an amazing experience nonetheless.</p>