<p>You know, I really think there is a certain way that kids think of their instate schools. And it’s not positive. We have friends in Del and their kids absolutely deplore UDEL, won’t look at it blah blah. Well, I know kids from NJ, NY and PA who think it’s pretty darn cool. And spend lots of extra OOS dollars for the opportunity. Go figure. The same could be said for PSU really. Lots of kids in our well to do suburban high school turn their noses up at it. Too pedestrian. Hey, there are some good programs there. And LOTS of kids from NY and NJ. </p>
<p>I like the idea of getting a handle on OOS schools that might offer merit. That might be good compromise. If she HATES Rutgers, it’s probably impossible to change her mind.
It just comes across as a bit…spoiled…to me. But it’s probably too late to fix that. We’re talking about a LOT of money here. I know parents who have GADS of money but still expect “skin in the game” from their kids…no Bank of Dad/Mom free rides there. Probably a good approach.</p>
<p>I agree with what toneranger said. At D’s school, UMass Amherst is the “default” school for many. Common opinion is that it is a party school. D doesn’t want to consider it at all. But I know of several other folks (even here on the forum) who are OOS and consider this school to be a good one, especially the honors college.</p>
<p>I didn’t think state schools offered merit aid for OOS students - am I wrong?</p>
<p>I know UMD can hand out some very good merit money to oos kids. WVU too. University of Arizona. Pitt. UNC for tippy top kids (hard to get). PSU does not (or at least it’s very rare)</p>
<p>So far for our two oldest kids we’ve had a “parent’s choice” school that we flat out told the kids they had to fill out the application. And they did because in general they do what we tell them to, reluctantly, but they do. Then we helped them find a school or two not on their limited radar screen in the area of the country they wanted to be in, where they were assured of getting merit money, and where they were willing to go. The other two-three applications were “kids choice.” We set a budget and told them flat out of the 5 or 6 colleges on the list they could go to any of them as long as the packages came in on budget. Perhaps you can take that approach with your D. The fact that she has her mind on particular major will certainly help narrow the field and it can be fun to talk to kids about their interests in the regions of the country, perceptions regarding size of school all that stuff. It does not need to be a painful process even the reluctant aspect of “parents choice.” By the way, neither of my kids is going to the “parents choice” in both cases other schools more aligned with their wants/needs came through at a cost we could afford…</p>
<p>I wonder if involving a third party might help. You talking more about Rutgers is likely to be counterproductive. There might be a totally different result if somebody else (a teacher, a counselor, a recent grad of her high school) sits down to talk about her options and brings up the possibility of Rutgers.</p>
<p>Virginia Tech has an animal science program that appealed greatly to our neighbor, who wanted to be a veterinarian specializing in equine medicine. You might want to check it out.</p>
<p>I don’t know how the University of Delaware is for pre-vets, but I do know that they offered my son, whose stats were lower than your daughter’s, a merit scholarship. He turned it down to go to our in-state school, the University of Maryland. In some states, kids LIKE their home state flagship school. New Jersey, unfortunately, is not one of those states.</p>
<p>I was in Edison, New Jersey, recently on business, and I drove the wrong way for several miles and accidentally ended up on the Rutgers campus. I can see why kids don’t like the area. I didn’t like it, either. People complain that the University of Maryland is in the middle of a slum, but I think that Rutgers is worse.</p>
<p>Re Cornell: I went there, my daughter goes there, I really like the place. But is it the best choice for a pre-vet? To get into veterinary school, a student needs top undergraduate grades. This may be harder to achieve at a school as competitive as Cornell than it would be at some of the other colleges discussed on this thread.</p>
<p>Would she consider coming south? NC State University has a Vet. School and an Animal Sci. major with pre-vet advising. NC oos tuition is low in comparison to may state u’s.
Raleigh, the capital of NC is a happenin’ city of 385,000 with a large airport close by and home to four other colleges besides NCSU. ACC sports,great weather, not a suitcase school.</p>
<p>Not surprised to see that University of Kentucky has the following 2 options. </p>
<p>students interested in horses will have two program options: a B.S. in Animal Science with an Equine Specialization or a B.S. in Equine Science and Management.</p>
<p>However, I don’t know if they have any assured merit scholarships for this to be a safety school.</p>
<p>One of my cousins is a DelVal Animal Science graduate (now a Chiropractor). He has nothing but good things to say about the preparation he received there.</p>
<p>Just a note about Cornell…apparently her first choice. I know the campus well…family members go there. If she’s concerned about being in the middle of nowhere (like PSU) Cornell is NOT the place to go. In fact, I think the dynamic is very similar there…small college town, lots of farmland, far from a major metro area. Now, prestige, that’s another story. Keep in mind that PSU has a good honors college with a small scholarship that will defray some costs. But I still think that she could get more $ at UDEL OR UMD . </p>
<p>I have to say I totally don’t get the UMASS attraction…not that it’s a bad school but I can’t see doling out huge dollars for it. Cornell…yeah, maybe. But UMASS? I think we’re beyond talking about affordability here…it’s really about what schools might be worth the extra investment. And can serve as a reasonable safety. Give her a budget for a safety school - maybe 50K…and have her find one.</p>
<p>“… we can afford to send her to any college.”</p>
<p>I presume she knows this. Ah yes, the problem begins to come into focus. Would it be too much to assume she isn’t driving a ten-year-old clunker with 150,000 miles on it (like my daughter is)?</p>
This is very true. I caught myself looking down at my own little old flagship the other day and forced myself to reevaluate it. The place is actually a pretty decent school, especially in its best programs. Admittedly, Fairbanks weather is a fairly legit reason to look OOS.</p>
<p>The aforementioned University of Kentucky has pretty good scholarships for National Merit Finalists.</p>
<p>Setting some kind of clear boundaries about parental visitation rights might give her a more positive outlook towards Rutgers.</p>
<p>NewHope-
Our son’s 10 year old STATION WAGON (how very cool) has only 110,000 miles on it.
WoooHoooo.</p>
<p>We never felt compelled to share exact budget amounts with son when he was college shopping. He applied, auditioned, visited etc and then we as a family discussed the options once all the offers were in hand. He knew a ballpark amount similar to 4 years at our state flagship was available.<br>
A few extra $$$ would be found perhaps for an option we were especially in agreement with. But he knew it was our money that we were gifting to him because we chose to.
There was no sense of entitlement.<br>
When he finished undergrad with honors, we miraculously found a few extra dollars to help with housing at grad school, so he could accept the funding offered to him.</p>
<p>I guess it’s all relative though. Our son knew a 50K school was out of the question, but that we would help him within our means. Don’t know if he realizes that we actually have retirement savings and had no intentions of raiding these for his education.
Of course, not nearly enough to actually retire on!</p>
<p>I guess I feel lucky to be in NC with great state universities. The kids at our school want to go to UNC-Chapel Hill, NC State, and many of the other great choices. They all congratulate each other when they get in. Great schools and a good value.</p>
<p>musicmom - Your family sounds like our family … I approve, obviously. </p>
<p>Regards the OP’s circumstances, I ask myself why a child would spit on a FREE college education at a quality public university. Feelings of entitlement are a likely reason IMO.</p>
<p>Thanks the thing…
Rutgers IS a very good school, just underappreciated by our kids. The 'it’s right in my backyard" thing or the “I deserve someplace SPECIAL” thing, I don’t know.
AND many, not all, families do have the funds to send children to out of state schools of their choosing. Some of these OOS schools are not even necessarily ‘better’ schools, they’re just AWAY from home!!</p>
<p>The College of New Jersey is another option in state that NJ kids tend to snub.
It is VERY selective and really a beautiful school. Even I can admit that the physical Rutgers campus complex is unappealing. TCNJ is gorgeous. </p>
<p>And, yes, there certainly ARE several NJ publics that I personally wouldn’t recommend for students looking for academic challenge…</p>