How to help your kid get excited about that safety school?

But UT Austin at in-state price seems like a great choice.

With his stats he would likely have gotten some merit at Pitt or Ohio State or several schools that offer big scholarships for NMF like UAH, UA.

I guess he didn’t apply to them. And yes they are public schools in other states.

So they aren’t better than UT Austin, just not in Texas.

UA gives full tuition for 5 years and 4 years of housing. It’s a beautiful campus and has a good engineering school. It attracts lots of OOS high stats students.

He will have to decide if he is ok with attending school instate or if he wants to apply to UA.

I think the generous NMF scholarships are only available right from high school, not if you take a gap year.

Yes as the one paying I’m thrilled about such an excellent school as UT Austin Engineering at in state prices. And he would only be a two hour drive away.

Since he was waitlisted at Case Western Reserve, why not reward him with a short vacation in Cleveland ? I suspect that when he returns, he might look at Austin with new found enthusiasm.

He’s worked so hard for so long, with the goal of OOS. Maybe that’s what you tackle first, this perspective that just being in his home state isn’t good enough. I mean this gently, but you don’t want this particular idea to leave Texas to be an obsession, clouding his views. Just leaving the state isn’t as important, in the long run, as getting the best education at a price you can afford. UT Austin is a great school.

I’d find the advantages to UT, research opps, internships, the quality of particular profs, etc. Maybe the possibility of study abroad or an academic exchange year with another college. Imo, you need to present this rationally. A shift in that perspective. Glass half full, not half empty. Best wishes.

Part of the problem for him is that UT Austin is so big. He wanted a smaller environment which is why Case Western is more attractive to him or Rice if he is staying in state. I told him the honors colleges at these big state universities can make things feel smaller and he was crushed when he didn’t get into UT Austin honors.

@Cgaope There is a saying that has been used many timesover the years here on CC

  • “bloom where you are planted” Sometimes it just takes time.

Once he lands at UT and is surrounded by GREAT kids, he will change his mind.

Can you “sweeten the pot” a little for him? Like let him have his own car at UT? Or some other perk?
That is what we did for our DS when he chose the least expensive, least prestigious U .

dont for get to show him the second link.
the kid who wrote that was in exactly the same situation as your DS.

Okay. Not getting into UT-Austin Honors is the problem.

Have your son apply to Auburn University in Alabama. The application deadline is June first. Not sure if there is a merit award deadline.

UT Austin in ranked #11 for undergrad engineering!!! Congrats! Get him a T-shirt and hook 'em horns!

How tough for your son. I feel for all of you. He might benefit from reading this post: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1891200-asian-rejected-from-everywhere-postmortem-p1.html

TL; DR-- The student in the post I’ve linked above had spectacular stats and only got into his state school, which was a safe school for him. He made lemonade out of lemons.

Your son might feel wronged, and it’s hard not to feel that way, given his hard work and achievements. He needs to stop feeling sorry for himself though and consider why he applied to UTA and not some other school. He needs to congratulate himself for working his socks off and having a great school to go to. He needs to be proud that he had the right stats to get into a good engineering program at a good school. He should anticipate that all of his hard work is going to serve him well in college, and that he didn’t JUST do all that hard work to get into a tippy top school. He did it because that’s the person he is. He is going to be far more successful in life than some kids that go to the other schools.

He’s learned a very adult lesson at a young age, which is a shame, but he will definitely look back on this period of his life and understand that things happen for a reason. He will find the reason in due course. He should not blame himself. If he did his very best, which it seems he did, then he should be patting himself on the back, because he has a wonderful option. I think he will need time to understand that his dream didn’t come true.

Meanwhile, take him to accepted student days. Ask him to look online for some posters he’d like to hang up in his dorm room, or some bedding he might like. Suggest he go on the facebook page, or whatever it might be, and start thinking about pairing up with a roommate. Don’t let him dwell on waitlists. Assuming he has done all he can to show interest and commitment to attending, there isn’t much else to do but move on. (I do suggest that near May 1, he email his top choices again to confirm that he will attend if accepted, and update with new information. Send grades, too.) Thinking that it might happen will lead to more disappointment.

The schools that require CSS profile and the non custodial profile won’t be affordable most likely, if father’s income is considered.

He could see if UCF would still give him the NMF scholarship and apply to UA as well.

Then he would have a few choices. And be awarded for all of his hard work with full rides.

Very sad. But come on…who doesn’t want to be a longhorn? Lol? It is such an amazing school.

Maybe you can get him to understand that if he lived one state over with his stats, he might have been rejected by UT. It’s that good. My kid had those stats and loved UT, but OOS was not even really worth applying. I would never recommend a kid leave Texas if they get into their program at UT. Or a Michigan kid at UM. (Ca kid at UCLA, you get it…). It is not only a great school, but a tremendous bargain. He’s a genius! Tell him I said so:)

Just get him excited about being a longhorn!

Thank you for all of the suggestions and wonderful responses. I will be looking into a few of these.

How can he attend Rice, Penn or Case Western?

I thought it wasn’t affordable if the non custodial parent’s income is considered?

this is from the OP on the last post of the thread Lindagaf mentioned:

“But to everyone, apply to a range of schools. Do what you love, and do it as well as you can. Figure out a narrative, and present it as clearly as possible. But don’t delude yourself that you can’t possibly be in the 95%. And make peace with attending your safety - it’s not as bad as it might seem. This was my story. Thanks for listening.”

Seems like the real problem was that he had overreaching expectations built up over time, both in terms of being admitted to super-selective colleges and in terms of being able to afford them (most of them would have been unaffordable with an uncooperative non-custodial parent even if he got admitted), so that deflating them all at once is a much bigger let-down than the small let-downs that may have occurred if some realism were injected in some bits over the last several years.

Case Western would be about 39k if he got off the waitlist. Rice is not going to be affordable. I’m not sure about Penn but Penn is also a large school so I’m not sure what he is thinking there. The schools that were not affordable were over 55k like RPI which would have been a great option for him at a lower price point.

Is his dad completely out of the picture or just unwilling to pay?

If he’s in the picture, has your son called him up to tell him about his college choices and to ask advice?

The best take away from above is to not call any school a “safety” - once you do that - kids do start to think of the school as not the best choice and it becomes very difficult to change that mindset.