<p>This is an essay my son did on a practice test for Testmasters. He scored a 9. What could he have done to this essay to make it score higher? I wonder if his blatant fictions (Hugo Chavez in Haite[sic], castes in Haiti, Walter Cronkite in the Bronx) are hurting him or if he needs to work on adding more SAT words.</p>
<p>The question, Does ease not challenge us and do we need adversity to help us discover who we are, implies that tough challenges may reveal our strengths and weaknesses. In other words, adversity helps us discover who we are. In my opinion, adversity is very much necessary to reveal truths about ourselves. In other words, adversity allows us to understand what we do in everyday life. My opinion can be proven through many historical and modern day events.
Consider the rise of Hugo Chavez as the leader of modern day Haite. While Chavez was raised in the lower caste of the island nation he still was able to suceed by fixing the flaws which those around him so often ridiculed. Had it not been for the fact that, due to his caste, he was socially repulsive, he may never have gotten the honest feedback which was hurled at him in the form of insults. Clearly adversity did nothing but help Chavez.
For another example, take the case of Ralph, the lead character in the 1950s english novel, The Lord of the Flies. In society, Ralph was a withdrawn, shy, ordinary child. When his plane crashed in the ocean sending himself and several other children to a life of hardship on a pacific isle, Ralph grew strong. Ralph dropped his ordinarily shy persona in favor of becoming leader of the group. This change in character clearly illustrates that adversity changes in a good way.
Finally, consider Walter Cronkite during the early 1900s, Bronx, New York. Walters life did not start out easy. He was given through adoption to a poor black family in the Bronx. Through his teenage years Walter rejected the stigmas put against him and actively persued a career in journalism. Though he had a hard start it forged him into the master of the air waves he would later become.
In conclusion, it is obvious that adversity greatly strengthens a person. Through the example of Chavez we see adversity can drive one to greatness. Through the example of Ralph we see even a shy boy under the right conditions can become a leader.</p>
<p>I don't think his arguments were expansive enough. Simply saying Walter Cronkite fought adversity, without providing specific examples of how, doesn't really support the thesis.</p>
<p>Well, in general the "making up stuff" tactic only works well in personal anecdotes (because, obviously, the graders won't know whether it's true or not). Also, restating the question in the introduction and the common transition words ("in conclusion", "another example", etc) make it seem a little formulaic. In regards to using "SAT words," if he doesn't usually use them then it won't work on the actual test - throwing in big words just for the sake of using big words will probably seem unnatural when compared with the rest of the diction if he's not used to it. A large vocabulary helps, but it certainly isn't necessary for a high score and I think what you posted is fine in that regard.</p>
<p>Never paraphrase or rewrite the question in the prompt. You need a strong thesis that doesn't take too polar a stance. I find that qualifying the statement is a good stance at any time. I don't think history of factual falsities can hurt you on the SAT essay, one of my examples I made up a book and a char for... And try not to go for the 1-3-1 opener/supports/closer type essay. Try to only use one or two very thought-out examples instead of 3, and make sure your point is clear.</p>
<p>I always use this. It works. I coined it myself after seeing a qotd using the word.</p>
<p>"The belief (w/e the belief you are refuting except not word for word.) seems too chimerical to me to be taken true because of the plethora of evidence from history, literature, and myself which supports (your belief) over (the other belief)." End it there. Start your 2-3 examples next. Go from most to least important.</p>
<p>I used this on the Oct. Test. I REALLY think I got a 11-12 on it. It seemed just perfect. And if you search for my "9" essay in May You would understand that this one is totally different >.> and better.</p>
<p>your sons essay was very short.. I wrote full 2 page essays for my essays on the last 2 SAT's I have taken, and I have gotten a 11 and a 12. This is my 11 essay, and I think you can see a clear difference between your sons and mine even though we used the same test masters format. Keep in mind the essay score, is weighed so little compared to the multiple choice,so maybe he should be focusing on that more.</p>
<p>Yea i may have used chimerical... wrongly.. but really. It CAN mean improbable (thesauras). Tell your son. FILL THE 2 PAGES UP. If he must make up an example then do it. SAT graders to take length into a factor. If he cannto finish 2 pages then make sure he fills up to last 4-5 lines... please tell him that.</p>