<p>I'm going to be a sophomore this year, and I'm trying to figure out what I am going to do next summer. I'm a chemistry/Spanish double major, and I'm also pre-med.</p>
<p>My mom REALLY wants me to study abroad next summer, she harasses me about it every day. And while I would absolutely love to study abroad, I am afraid it is not possible to do it next summer. Thanks to bad advice from my pre-med advisor and my own bad decisions, I have gotten myself into a situation where it is pretty much inevitable that I will need to take physics during summer school next summer. I might be able to fit it in during the year, but the chances of that happening are slim. I also want to get some research experience, which I was also hoping to do next summer. In addition, my mom wants me to work all summer (I want to work, too). </p>
<p>So I have both a limited time problem and a limited money problem. Summer school costs $3500 + housing costs, and I would most likely need to pay for it myself. It also takes a month out of my summer. Study abroad would cost even more, and even though my mom is the one pushing me to do it, she refuses to pay for it (which makes the situation even more frustrating). </p>
<p>I think my best option would be to stay at school during the summer, take the class, get a job in the meantime, and once the class is over try and find a research position for the rest of the summer. But whenever I try to explain this to my mom, she starts yelling at me that I need to study abroad, and how disappointed she is that I'm not going to. I am not used to my parents putting pressure on me to do stuff, so I have no idea how to deal with this. My mom doesn't really value academics, so it is difficult to explain to her how important it is that I take this physics class before spring of junior year. </p>
<p>Can someone please help me figure out how I can make my mom understand my point of view? I really do want to study abroad, but at this time in my life I just can't!</p>
<p>Can’t you just ignore her? If you have explained that you feel you need to do summer school, and you can’t afford to study abroad anyway then there’s really nothing else you can do. I’ve never experienced pushy parents, mine took no interest in my studies at all and only asked two questions when I told them I was studying abroad for a year so perhaps I am not the best person to answer your question. However, if it were me I would simply explain that I have made my mind up and I do not want to discuss it anymore. Your mum will probably try again, but if you feed her that line she will eventually give up.</p>
<p>I have continually explained my reasons to her and told her I did not want to talk about it anymore, at least until I could talk to my advisor about it, but she still pushes the issue. I don’t want to ignore her because she is making me feel really guilty about it (like I’m wasting my father’s money by going to school and not using that time to study abroad or something), but at the same time I don’t want her to be upset that I’m not studying abroad, which is obviously something she really wants for me, and I know she has good intentions.</p>
<p>It seems like this is one those those situations where only time will help. She’ll probably come around at some point, but it sounds like she just wants you to have every opportunity even if it’s not realistic.</p>
<p>Perhaps if you sat her down and showed her your four year plan and finances to demonstrate that it’s really not feasible, she might ease up on it.</p>
<p>You could also try to talk about other things that you are doing that you are really excited about (like research experience, volunteering, etc), and she might feel like it was the right choice for you to stay on campus. Studying abroad is great, but if you’re getting really great experiences here, she might still feel like you’re getting your money’s worth and really enriching your experience.</p>
<p>You could also say that you’re trying to focus on getting into med school now, and you’re considering taking a small trip abroad after you graduate but before medical school. Until then, you have to work hard and save your money. Even if you don’t end up taking a trip, you might get her to let it go for a little bit.</p>
<p>Hope it works out! I’m sure she’ll let it go with time, but until then, you just have to hang in there.</p>
<p>Tell her you think study abroad is a waste of time and an overrated vacation.</p>
<p>Guessing SHE would make study abroad a top priority if SHE were going to college right now. What about study abroad during 2nd semester of junior year instead of summer before junior year? If you are a Spanish/chem major, maybe you could do this – either in a Spanish speaking country, or the UK (might be easier to get some of the classes you need for Chem to do that). Talk to your advisor about this, too. And go see the study abroad office as well. It can be cheaper to study abroad during the school year than over the summer; often you just pay tuition/room/board to your college at the usual rate, and then you just need to pay travel expenses. That leaves you free to work in the summer, too.</p>
<p>More important than if you study abroad or not, is the title of your post. Her “emotional upset” should not be a basis for this choice ~ you have a preference. You are entitled to your preferences. Do not think you have to “make my mom understand”.</p>
<p>My mom has agreed that I won’t be able to study abroad this year or this summer, thank goodness! Hopefully over the next year she will start to realize that I have other priorities at this point in my life and will stop bugging me about it so much.
I can’t study abroad second semester of junior year because I am pre-med and would not feel comfortable taking the MCAT abroad. Plus, honestly, I wouldn’t study as much for the MCAT if I was someplace beautiful like Spain.
If I decide to do just a Spanish major rather than Chem AND Spanish, I could probably study abroad fall of junior year. But I guess I will have to wait and see.</p>
<p>Thanks for your help, everyone!</p>
<p>You should beware that many medical schools won’t like you taking core science classes during the summer.</p>
<p>The class I would be taking during the summer is intro physics. I would be taking it at my home institution. I have also taken the class before (AP physics) and have taken higher-level physics courses in college (long story). I have been told by multiple advisors that this should be fine.</p>
<p>That’s cool, it’s just something that trips up a lot of people</p>
<p>Hopefully it won’t, I will e-mail some med schools and ask about it if I end up deciding to take it over the summer, just to be sure. Thanks for the advice :)</p>