Hi everyone, I am a junior at FSU and have had some trouble meeting people and forming lasting relationships, which I am looking to change.
Let me start by saying I have a medical condition called hyperhidrosis, which is not serious, but it is characterized by excessive sweating, to the point where I need to keep my thermostat set to 68° or I will be sweating up a Storm. This makes having roommates impossible, and I spent my first year of FSU living off campus, I wish I did not have this condition and would be able to live comfortably on campus and meet people that way.
I have gone to several clubs, including the yoga club, rock climbing club, food recovery club, Baptist church ministry, and have postEd A few times under the intramural sports Facebook page and attempt to find somebody to play Tennis with or go for a jog (nobody has ever replied to me there). It seems that the people that I have come across in these clubs seem to already have their social circle closed and are not really open to meeting new people or letting new people do things with them outside of the club, which only meets once a week, or some even less than that.
Let me also add that I am originally from Atlanta Georgia, and was excepted into Florida State on a music scholarship. I do not know a single person at all from my high school at Florida State, so I am starting completely from scratch here.
Please do not tell me to just look for clubs with people with common interests, as that is such a vague response and I have already tried that multiple times. Please also do not say that I am there for my degree and I should not think so much about making friends. I understand that my grades and education are the top priority, however I find it hard to stay motivated without any friends or people to enjoy things with outside of school.
Please, if anybody has any suggestions on meeting people who are actually looking to make new friends, anything specific at Florida State or in the Tallahassee area. I’m listening. Thank you for reading.
Honestly, short of doing exactly what you told us not to tell you (going to club meetings that interest you, etc.), there isn’t really much you can do. It’s not like you can really force people to be your friend, unfortunately.
Maybe you could talk to somebody at University Counseling. They offer free services to students, and they will speak with you on a walk in basis between 8 and 4. They are on the second floor of the ASkew Student Life Center. They can probably help you work on your social skills, You are doing all the usual recommended things, so it isnt what you are doing, but maybe how you are doing it?? I dont know you, so i dont know exactly what isnt working for you, maybe you need to be more outgoing or maybe you are being too aggressive and putting people on the spot, who knows, but it is worth it to seek out some honest feedback. Hopefully they can help you. Good for you for reaching out and trying to make your life more pleasant.
You have to take the initiative. When you were in a club, did you ask people what they were doing this weekend and did you invite them to do stuff?
It wasn’t until I started working that I made a new group of friends. It’s easier to make friends at a job since you’re with the same people every day. At college, like you said, you only see people when the class or club meets for an hour or 2.
You mentioned that you have attended a few clubs multiple times. Sometimes that isn’t enough. Join and get involved. I think the friendships will come as you actively participate in something you enjoy.
My daughter goes to FSU and is in the baptist church ministry, she is very shy but goes to the meetings, bible studies, volunteers with them and will be going with them to New Orleans this summer, she also plans study groups, the key is to make yourself go to the meetings and put yourself out there, and there are music clubs at FSU,