<p>I don’t think it’s reasonable to aspire to get over it in the sense that you’ll never get jealous of anyone ever - the question is how does that jealousy affect you. Are you dwelling on it? Is it affecting you? What does it make you feel about yourself? If the answers to those questions are negative things (e.g. I think about it constantly, it distracts me from my work, and it makes me feel worthless) then it’s something you should work on. If the answers are positive (e.g. I think about it only for a few moments after the accomplishment is mentioned, it doesn’t affect my relationships with other people, it encourages me to work harder) then its not really an issue.</p>
<p>I agree that others’ success can be a motivator, but you should be motivated to be the best version of yourself, not the other person. It will seriously ruin you if you try to be someone else; at my school the valedictorian race is so competitive that there is a group of people who are in all of the same classes (AP to get the GPA inflation) and sure, they’re definitely the top 10% of the class, but they also are isolated from the rest of the class. When ivy acceptances came out, there were actual physical fights in the hallway because though they all applied to the same colleges, some got in and some didn’t. These people thought that they were “just like each other” and all should have gotten in. The best thing to do is to be unique- even though you may want the same on-paper/material achievements as someone else, if there isn’t anything unique to your character, you will lose out.
Also it helps to remember that even the valedictorian of your school, or the smartest person you know in your friend circle/town/state, is still by no means the best. There will always be someone better. </p>
<p>It’s not easy being green.</p>
<p>I don’t think it can be avoided, especially as an aspiring Musical Theatre major, I know girls that have a greater chance at everything from Carnegie Melon to ONU. You can’t avoid it, so it’s better to accept it</p>
<p>Simple, I don’t run the rat race. I’m fairly laid back and very happy with my situation. Sure, some of my friends have better grades and test scores, but I am happy with my own. I work hard, but not too hard. I celebrate my friends’ accomplishments with them.</p>
<p>People who try super hard in High School often burn out later in life and get fat. That’s not to say one should just cruise, but don’t take yourself too seriously.</p>
<p>No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt</p>
<p>Jealousy is inevitable. Being in the lower middle class in an almost entirely upper class society, I have never been able to overcome my envy of my peers and have now learned to accept it as a challenge. Nonetheless, I still wish to have as much as they do, be as beautiful as they are, and succeed better academically than they can. All you can do is be the best that you can physically be and set your limits there.</p>
<p>It’s so hard because well life isn’t fair and neither is the college admissions process. Just try to remember that you’re going to be successful in life and end up in the right place where you belong because you’re a hard worker, that’s why your jealous. Personally, I try to think about things I may be better at, or maybe some reason why they would be jealous of me, sounds bad, but it kinda helps sometimes. </p>
<p>this is something i constantly struggle with as well…especially when it’s a close friend or you decided to take a rather large pity-party and examine everyone’s lives around me and compare them to mine. for a long time my response was to shut down, in fact i’m dealing with this now. but the thing is, jealousy happens. it’s how you react/respond to it is what’s important. especially being in the middle class, being first generation, etc. it’s hard, but what can you do? lie down and give up. simply not an option, i take a nap and talk with my mom when i feel like this. people have their own different coping methods, but either way, it’s good to remember what you excel in; think back to what people say to you, how they admire, wish, are jealous about something of yours. it makes you feel better about yourself, also take it easy! don’t be hard on yourself, self love. </p>
<p>Story of my life. I get jealous all the time. I try to get over it by looking towards my future and imagine what I can accomplish. I remind myself that I’m smart/knowledgeable in other subjects than the “popular” ones. </p>
<p>Focus on yourself, look at what you have achieved and your successes, see where you are headed and most importantly, appreciate others’ successes and talents, rather than be jealous. Just my 2 cents.</p>
<p>
Hang out with more adults (even young-ish adults). The race is long, and people who are older can tell you all about how life has a way of tossing the top of the heap onto the bottom and the bottom onto the top. You’re going to have your share of earned and unearned victories and privileges in life, but it’s hard to see when you’re in high school.</p>
<p>You may end up out-earning your classmates who are not themselves wealthy, just the offspring of wealthy parents. (Trust me, you won’t envy them when you’re living at or above your parents’ standard of living and they are living below what they grew up with.) </p>
<p>Look at life as more multi-dimensional than money and schools. Ideally, you’ll find your own way to be successful, given the opportunities that you may have. It could involve sports, community service, research, grades, or whatever. </p>
<p>Finally, don’t hang around people who lord it over you or aren’t happy when you succeed, too.</p>
<p>Question: Does this jealousy (somewhat) curb senioritis? Or does the competition get senioritis, lowering the standard?</p>
<p>Ex: Freshman year: Student A & Student B try to get A+'s / 100’s on all assignments
Senior year: Student B doesn’t try as hard, getting B’s, so Student A takes it easy and settles for A-'s</p>
<p>In all my years of school, I stopped being jealous of others when I made this change: </p>
<p>I stopped putting my friends with better grades than me on a pedestal. </p>
<p>I think jealousy stems from (even subconsciously) equating “more” with “better”. I have friends who do much, much better than me in school. It doesn’t bother me, and I don’t think they’re any better/smarter than I am. I know that life isn’t about letters on a piece of paper. Value, and especially intelligence, is a lot more complicated than a grade. Life is a lot more complicated than the inside of a classroom. </p>
<p>I don’t place value on grades. I place value on good, kind people. Some of the greatest, nicest, most unique people I’ve ever met struggled horribly in school. My best friend (whom I’ve grown apart from) literally flunked out of high school, but she was still a very extraordinary individual. I have another friend, on the other hand, who aces every class and takes every AP course, yet she’s a complete airhead. She’s extremely shallow. She knows how to take tests, and she’s learned how to play the system, but her emotional intelligence seems to be very low. </p>
<p>Just try to isolate yourself from this mindset of competition. It’s poisonous. Be happy with yourself and you’ll find it a lot easier to let go of jealous feelings. </p>
<p>I’m going to butt in… I normally post over on the prep school forum, and seeing as I’m in eighth grade, I don’t venture into high school life. I didn’t read through this thread, so excuse me if my answer has been said before or is totally out of place. I’m poor. I’m on free lunch at public school. Sometimes I’m jealous of the kids who get recognized for being the “smartest.” Yeah, I saw one of them get picked up in his dad’s Acura when I hop in the front seat of a scraped up Toyota. I remind myself of two things–the aforementioned lack of resources, and that my Spanish classes are tougher than theirs. </p>
<p>Take that, people. (Also keep in mind that one kid was telling me how smart another student is because “he took the SATs”. Anyone can take the SAT, as long as they can afford it.)</p>
<p>As to what @ariesathena said, I don’t know. Frankly, I often enjoy conversations with my teachers more than with some of my peers. I’ve been told that I think like a college student, but part of me is always wanting to know what that other kid’s report card comment was.</p>
<p>I don’t like that I do this, but I’m being honest. It’s something I want to stop doing.</p>
<p>All great responses.
I will add that it is an involuntary process. Admitting that you have it is a huge STEP to knowing how to react to it next time.
Some people turn that into a positive energy of challenging themselves to work harder, and others join the other party to celebrate with them, both relieving the tension and giving a satisfaction of accomplishment.
Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Something I keep in mind when it comes to jealousy: I’m Jewish, and in Jewish thought there is a concept of regular kinah, jealousy (which is such a big deal that it’s one of the Ten Commandments), and also of kinat sofrim, jealousy of someone’s accomplishments that spurs a person to do even better. Obviously, the first is considered terrible, but the second is considered very positive. What’s the difference? In the second, positive jealousy, the jealousy revolves around you- the other person has something and now you want it too. It can only be positive because it means that you will attain something positive. In regular, negative kinah, in contrast, the root of the jealousy is in wanting to take away what someone else has. It’s not that you want it too, it’s that you don’t want the other person to have it at all. If Person A gets a 100% on a test and Person B is jealous, if Person B has kinas sofrim, s/he would say that s/he is so happy for Person A and now s/he wants to work in order to get that too. A Person B with regular kinah would say that Person A doesn’t deserve it, the b****, and that really it’s awful that Person A got it. One approach channels the jealous instinct in a positive way and one only eats away at your mind and your relationship with your Person A. </p>
<p>In some situations I think it’s helpful to tell people when you’re jealous of them. It lessens the intensity of it, and people usually take it as a compliment unless you’re all passive-aggressive about it. I’m generally only jealous of people when I feel like they think they’re better than me. I don’t really get jealous of people I know to respect me. </p>
<p>Ignorance has nothing to do with it. Some people have more luck, more talent, more money. Life is unfair and unequal - there are degrees, but it was and always will be so. You just have to deal with it and, if you don’t, you will feel it for the rest of your life. </p>