<p>Have something to fall back on. Take up a hobby. If you define self-worth and success with academic achievement, your putting your self-esteem on shaky ground. I had the same issue, where I just could not convince myself that I was worth it. If you take up something like running or music, it’s no longer a numerical, quantitative comparison between two students, it’s a qualitative compare and contrast between two beautiful human beings. </p>
<p>
It’s very important to remember that (for most people on here) the unfairness goes in your favor most of the time. I’ve said this before, but I would lose a lot if life were made fair. </p>
<p>I’ve been jealous of my friend forever (I’ve known her since elementary school). She excels in everything (a valedictorian) and got accepted to Yale, I didn’t; even though I have some pretty good credentials myself. Worse, all of my other friends got accepted to the schools they want to go to; ALL OF THEM but me.
So yeah, I’m not going to get past this jealousy until I transfer to an institution I deserve to go to (going to my safety unfortunately). It’s hard letting this go.</p>
<p>Life’s unfair, and if that answer doesn’t make you happy exert out your anger by exercising. I’ve been running miles out of frustration and I’m healthy as ever lol. </p>
<p>It’s normal to want other people’s success because that’s how we ourselves keep from being complacent. But resentment and bitterness should be avoided. If you see someone achieving great things, learn how they did it and then apply what you learn.</p>
<p>I have my own things that I top them in. Jealousy solved.
Nobody’s the best at everything. </p>
<p>Actually, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with constructive jealousy.</p>
<p>Example: I have a really smart friend who I’m always competing with (in a friendly way). On the first exam for one of our classes, I thought I got a really high score (95) and was really proud for the first day or so. Then, when I met my friend in class, it turns out that he got a 96! When he showed me the score, I smiled and gave a congratulatory “nice job man! awesome work”, but on the inside, I was thinking “You ■■■■■■■! How dare you outdo me. I will study and I WILL outdo you next exam.” He beat me again the next exam…and the next exam…, but I still got a really high scores every time - which I probably would not have gotten if I didn’t try to beat him.</p>
<p>The key to making jealousy constructive is to not be jealous over things that you cannot change. For example, if my friend started talking about High School GPA or things in the past, I would not really care since I cannot affect that, thus placing care in that would be a waste of energy. However, if I found out he outdid me in a current class, I would get fairly excited to have a goal to beat for the next exam. </p>
<p>Also, whenever I do worse than him, I construct that energy into doing better next time, rather than just being depressed. And at the end of a semester when it’s clear that he’s beaten me and there’s nothing I can do about it, I’m not going to get upset. I just smile and appreciate that I had such a tangible goal to chase, which probably led to the good grades that I did get. Honestly, I would lose a bit of motivation if it weren’t for that guy. I would hate it if I constantly scored the best in my peer group.</p>
<p>Don’t take this too far though. Eventually you may reach a point where the energy required to out do someone just is not worth it. That’s why if I see a kid studying 24 hours per day to get perfect scores, I would not try to outdo him/her. I would respect the kid for their work ethic and understand that they simply values scores more than I do. Try to set your goals a few notches above your current ability. Take a step back and evaluate if you think it’s worth putting in the time and resources to meet that goal. If it is, then go for it! Eventually, you’ll be satisfied with your current level of success (I haven’t reached that yet) and will feel very proud.</p>
<p>Obviously, I’m probably using a different meaning of the word “jealousy” than how it is defined in the dictionary, but you get the picture.</p>
<p>I’m sure everyone feels jealousy. I know I do. For example, when I got into math and science as an interest, everyone else has joined the AIME and USAMO, I couldn’t do the AMC’s. I felt like absolute crap when I realized that people my age were doing these. But I went on the AOPS wiki anyway and just TRIED to solve problems, not intensely, but kind of as a hobby. I’m still not as good as those people, but I started to realize, I’m not them, and I can’t be compared to them. A lot of these people started doing math competitions in middle school, got used to the problems given in them, and just practiced more. I’m a 10th grader (I got interested in math in 9th grade) that taught myself how to do maths as a hobby. I am nowhere near comparable to them, and it’s rather irrational to think that I can be compared to them. Does the feeling of inferiority ever go away? No, I still feel like crap, I’m just more comfortable in the feeling.</p>
<p>I’ve asked my athletic friends if they feel this way and the answer is yes. They do! They feel like crap when they realize that there are people their age that compete in the Olympics. Or when one of my peers went to football camp, he told me, “At school, I’m pretty good, but when I go to football camp, EVERYONE is better than me, and I just feel terrible.”</p>
<p>This thread has really helped me since I tend to get jealous of my near perfect friends all the time. Thanks everyone for the helpful stories!</p>
<p>I am in a fierce competition with one person and one person only: myself. I don’t compare myself with others, I learn from them, and I am happy for them. They have good intentions and will affect the world in a positive way (usually), so what’s to be upset about? There are indeed plenty of people who are smarter than I am, and I am probably smarter than plenty of others. But I am not a better person, nor are they.</p>
<p>I can, and I will</p>
<p>Personally, I’m not jealous of any of my friends. I love them and I am happy for them in whatever they accomplish. Sometimes I think I even annoy them when I brag on them…all of the time. Haha! I would suggest finding something you’re good at and fostering that talent, that gift, because, guess what? No one can be a better you than you! 
I hope this helps!</p>
<p>I have one friend that’s going to be graduating high school a year early with over a 4.5 GPA and an Associates Degree. I have another friend who has a 4.6 GPA, got honorable mention at state science fair, and is going to the national Business Professionals of America competition. </p>
<p>Most of that stuff I don’t get jealous about, but the state science fair, bro. I want to go so badly next year. (Nerd envy. I heard that there was an ENTIRE exhibit there just on Stem Cells. I love reading about stem cells. My project was on the effect of paired collaboration on stem cell ethics and opinions. I only got to regionals.)</p>
<p>I’m jealous of people who have eidetic memories, like my current friend at MIT. He totally deserved to go there, so I am not jealous of that. I am kind of jealous of a friend who ended up going to UCLA because he isn’t anywhere near as smart as I am, but then again, I didn’t apply. </p>
<p>I guess I’m really only jealous of people who work hard. I procrastinate too much. I wish I could be more on top of my game. </p>
<p>@CalDud
The worst part about procrastination is knowing that even if I’m doing considerably well in school, I could be doing even better if I really tried hard and didn’t waste so much time. When people procrastinate, they really don’t realize how much time is flying. Looking at my save file on Pokemon one day, I realized that I had spent over 100 hours on that one save file. And that’s just scary. </p>
<p>“I get jealous all the time. The best way I deal with it is to only think about myself. Jealousy arises out of comparing yourself against others. If you stop thinking about other peers’ lives and focus on how you can be the best you, you become jealous less often.”</p>
<p>i agree with this. i get jealous a lot too, but when i focus back in on myself i realize that i have a LOT i could improve on, that could make me up to part with them if i would just try harder (in my case, a LOT harder). so really, it isn’t them i’m competing with, it’s myself.</p>
<p>Find your niche, yes.
My child is in an extracurricular activity with a classmate who is more-or-less equally driven and more-or-less equally talented. However, the other child has family connections and money that we do not have access to, and both of these do sometimes make a difference (traveling to out of town events and classes, finding mentors, etc). And there are times when that makes a difference, and the other child gets honors and opportunities mine doesn’t. That’s uncomfortable, possibly unfair, but it’s also not going to change. </p>
<p>The only thing one can do in that situation is to carve out a spot in the activity which makes you uniquely valuable: be able to play another position in your sport, become an expert in a specific aspect of your academic interest, learn a second or third instrument if the band is about to graduate all its trumpets. It takes effort, but when the cards are stacked in a direction unfavorable to you, you do what you’ve got to do.</p>
<p>Use it as motivation. Realize that you can end up more successful than those peers.</p>
<p>The flip side.</p>
<p>I had a friend from a private high school who was extremely diligent and never competed with anyone. Most people at our school are fairly wealthy, and he was one of the only ones to come on a scholarship. He’d work harder than everyone else, and was always willing to help others. He had pretty average grades early on but in senior year he suddenly had the GPA, and over his few years of high school accumulated a lot of awards and leadership positions at school. He told me about how nervous he became once everyone started comparing themselves to him, asking to compare his grades, SAT scores, extracurriculars, and always talked about how people began talking to him only when they wanted something unreasonable (e.g. comparing scores, his homework, asking him how they could “be a try-hard like him”). Some of his other friends even began coming to his dorm just to peek on him and see if he was still working. He felt a tremendous amount of pressure and began feeling as if he needed to do better to not disappoint others or have them look down on him. “I don’t understand what they want from me,” he told me once. “I just wanted to make the most out of my time here, and they’re getting mad at me for it.” By the end of the semester, he sank into the worst depression of his life. </p>
<p>When you get jealous of someone, you have to realize that NO ONE’s success comes for free. Those who achieve the most are always the ones who have the most pressure, regardless of how they may have an advantage. My friend has helped me learn that jealousy is childish and destructive, and that people with the most success go through more than most to get where they are. Peoples’ success requires them to have both self-discipline and the realization that they may be outcasted for making different decisions from everyone else. Instead of being jealous, think of the sacrifices people has to make to achieve more, and ask yourself if you are willing to do the same. If not, then there is no reason to feel bad for yourself or to remain jealous of the other person.</p>
<p>I’m actually in a somewhat similar situation right now. Except some people dislike me for my determination.</p>
<p>As a first-year engineering student, I decided to pursue for a summer internship, research position, or at least a job with relevant engineering experience.</p>
<p>I also wanted to maintain a high GPA and be heavily involved with some of the engineering organizations, such as SAE Baja or AIAA.</p>
<p>This led to a situation where I find it difficult to make friends outside of such engineering organizations due to major time constraints.</p>
<p>In fact, a significant portion of my dorm floor trash talked about me behind a closed door a few weeks ago. </p>
<p>They mocked me for not only little things such as being forgetful about people’s names or not having an interest in football/basketball, but also studying on weekends, being ambitious with finding a summer job, refusing to go to the bars, and not wanting to play any video games (due to lack of time).</p>
<p>Oh, and they also called me an overachieving nerd. Engineering students calling another engineering student a nerd…</p>
<p>If I were you-I wouldn’t call it jealousy, instead competition and learn what motives your friend or anyone in that particular category had to do, to make it and you didn’t, I wouldn’t stop trying, just ask him/her what they did and go so forth and so on. Hope that helped. :)>- </p>