<p>One of the universities I applied to has sent out admission decisions today by mail. Since it's in upstate NY, and I'm in NYC, I hope to be expecting an answer by next week.</p>
<p>This school is a reach one for me, and my gut is twisting every time I think about the decision. I even applied for their $30,000/year scholarship.</p>
<p>I've decided to go through this waiting process with a poker face (._.), so that way my hopes don't shattered too much.</p>
<p>So the main question(s) is: How do you as parents prepare your children in waiting for college decisions? Do you feel that an optimistic outlook is important or to pull out the indifferent, stone face until a decision is known?</p>
<p>I'm so impatient that I saw a USPS truck at the corner of my house, and I screamed with excitement. Oy...</p>
<p>*Moderator: please lock this thread if it's irrelevant.</p>
<p>For reach schools, we approached it as: only a small % will be admitted; we will likely be in the large % that is not admitted, but we know there is 0% chance if we didn’t apply. Still, when she received all the rejections it was pretty depressing, especially since most of them came on her birthday. She did get into one where she was initially waitlisted and that was all it took to make it happily ever after.</p>
<p>If it’s a reach school it’s better not to plan on it or expect it will happen. That way if you don’t get in you can keep your focus on other colleges or other concerns. If you do get in, then you can be pleasantly surprised.</p>
<p>It’s actually quite easy to prepare - just expect a rejection. My parents prepared me well - “UVAorBust, you’re not going to get into an UVA or an Ivy”. Yea, that is about it…</p>
<p>it’s sort of like childbirth–there really is no way to prepare for it. u just have to have faith that you’ll get through it, no matter which way the decisions come down.</p>
<p>I’m more the indifferent stony face parent…everyone reacts to this kind of stress differently. It happens waiting for college decisions, it happens when you decide to get married, when you find out your pregnant, when you accept a new job…some people need to “talk” about it to relieve stress…others bottle it up or keep everything secret. Hang in there because there is no RIGHT attitude to take everyone copes in different ways!</p>
<p>My S2 kept it pretty close to himself…his only rejection was from a reach school…he put it in a plastic frame with a magnet and hung it on his locker…it was his only rejection and the only letter he actually “kept”…I think he brought it to college with him. I have zero idea if he was upset or really didn’t care…no idea.</p>
<p>Our son, who had some excellent choices by the time two Ivies rejected him, walked over to where I was barbecueing and tossed the rejection letters on the fire. We enjoyed a good laugh together. He had a very healthy attitude towards what he knew were statistical longshots. He’s nearly through a great freshman year at Davidson.</p>
<p>Have on hand a box of tissues and a bottle of champagne (figuratively). You’ll probably use both. :)</p>
<p>We would celebrate each acceptance and mourn each rejection–but would do neither for too long because another result would be coming in the mail/email. The fun part was coming up–gathering all the acceptances and falling in love with one of those schools.</p>
<p>I need to ask this question too. I don;t mean to sound arrogant or something but I’ve been extremely privileged my entire life and I’ve never wanted anything. So I’ve essentially never faced rejection before… So although logically I know I have a tiny chance of being accepted at my reaches, subconsciously I cannot even conceive rejection. So how do I convince myself that I will get rejected?</p>
<p>That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.</p>
<p>We all experience rejection in life. You’re lucky you haven’t hit too many bumps in the road, but you need to develop your own coping strategy if (and I say IF with hopes for a good outcome for you) you get rejected. Remind yourself you’re a good person with good academics and you will make the most of whatever college opportunity you have.</p>
<p>Our family mantra is to work hard on things you can control (like getting your homework done) and not to obsess over things you cannot control (like what an admissions officer decides).
You have just a few days left until decisions. Get your homework done, tell your parents you appreciate them, get enough sleep, and this will all work out in the end.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice. I think you guys have hit the nail on the head. I need to immerse myself in HW and schoolwork so that I don’t obsess over things. I am just relieved that I don’t have a “dream school” so I am not going to be devastated if I am rejected from any one school - only if I am rejected from all.</p>
<p>Don’t “expect” a rejection and don’t ever set yourself up for failure. Sure, it may hurt less if you are convinced that you’ll be rejected, but it doesn’t do much good for you as a person. Always play to win, and I know that whatever happens, you will be able to handle it. :)</p>
<p>“I am not going to be devastated if I am rejected from any one school - only if I am rejected from all.”</p>
<p>This is why we parents repeat over, and over, and over, that ALL of you need to have at least one Rock-Solid Safety on your list. This should be a rolling admission school so that you can apply in the fall as soon as the new application materials are available, and that your family can pay for without boatloads of financial aid. Receiving one acceptance before Thanksgiving Dinner should be everyone’s goal. That way no matter what else happens, you have somewhere to go for the first semester.</p>
<p>It’s never easy to face a rejection, no matter how old you get. College rejection is usually the first one many kids will face. We made a mistake with our first daughter by falling in love with some before the decision came out. We are going through with the second one now(a junior), we are not saying one is better than another, we are going to wait until all acceptances are in before we have an opinion.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the great advice parents! I am sorry I kind of hijacked your thread OP. Good things come of lurking on the parents forum because because I did listen to the advice about safeties and I do have an acceptance under my belt so that’s good. I will keep reading this thread in the next few days to help me prepare. :)</p>
<p>Putturani - Congrats on having a safety that you like! As for the rest of it, I recommend Puffs Plus because they are the softest. And maybe some Dove chocolate. Both are useful for happy and sad occasions.</p>
<p>It’s not easy to get rejected. My older son did the smart thing and applied EA to two colleges that are reaches for everyone and got deferred, but he also had applied to a safety that had an early notification system, so he knew he was going to college. He got two rejections from colleges those EA colleges before hearing from the rest. Honestly I think I was more upset than he was. In the end he chose a college we hadn’t visited yet, but turned out to be perfect. It hadn’t been at the top of the list, but in retrospect it probably should have been.</p>
<p>Younger son loved his safety, but also had an EA acceptance from a school he hadn’t visited yet, but was highly rated. He did a very good job of not having a first choice until he had visited (or revisited) all the colleges he got into. In fact he did such a good job of not preferring a particular college he waited till the very last day to make a decision!</p>
<p>Nothing will make it easier if you don’t get in where you had hoped to, but do realize most students end up happy where they land. Make the best of the opportunities at the institution that accepts you.</p>