<p>Believe it or not -- you will survive. As the parents of twins, and only the two, we sent them off to school about 8 hours away. Senior year was the year of the lasts! The last home football game, the last crew race, the last this and the last that. Graduation was a sea of tears from both moms and dads who have been friends since many of these kids were in diapers and from the kids as well.</p>
<p>The summer was a blur. I channeled my anxiety by buying everything that posters on CC suggested to the point that our living room looked like the local UPS store. Again, every activity was the last this, the last that.</p>
<p>Long story short ----- we moved the boys in, spent a couple days at Orientation and then drove off as one son ran to take a shower (it was 105 degrees) and the other son was "comforting" a new friend of the female persuasion who couldn't get her internet connected.</p>
<p>I am golfing, we go to the gym and on dates and we hear from the boys regularly.</p>
<p>Having a dog has certainly helped to fill the void. But honestly speaking there really isn't a void. We just came back from visiting them for our birthdays (they were born on my birthday) and they'll be home in a few weeks for break.</p>
<p>I am looking forward to the summer and having them home -- if only for a short time!</p>
<p>DD said to me the other day "what will you and dad do when Tyler and I go off to college, we are your whole life?" I laughed it off to her and told her we'll be in the carribbean before she even unpacks so she wouldn't feel bad. I've been balling ever since.....</p>
<p>I've done better than I expected. I don't have a paid job and had even gone off my boards to fully focus on son's last years in HS and college search. But as others have said, when they are so ready to go, there's a happiness for them too. No question, it's a loss and I'd love to see him more, but I'm filled with gratitude that he's at a great school with a super roommate (not a drug dealer, like some of my friend's kids have had to deal with) and lots of friends. He e-mails us back whenever we e-mail him and puts up with it good-humoredly when I ask him the same questions every week in our phone calls.</p>
<p>Another song to avoid: "You're Going to Make Me Lonesome When You Go".</p>
<p>But it helped to remember that it's "not all about me." And that this separation and independence is what we've been working towards for 18 years.</p>
<p>The first term I felt like I was walking around with a hole in my heart.</p>
<p>Truly, though, it did get better. I am so proud of the man my son (another only) is becoming.</p>
<p>Son is a sophomore now, and will likely have an internship this summer in another state. Then he'll be overseas for first term next year.</p>
<p>Guess what? I am fine with it. I miss him and love it when he is home, but that "hole in my heart" (my Post # 25) has mostly healed. Probably because this as things should be right now, for his sake.</p>
<p>Remember how we tried to help our kids realize that whatever was happening in high school was not "forever"? Well, really, this grief we feel when they leave isn't, either. It is very real, but it does get better.</p>
<p>OP: I've had ups and downs. I have two; one a junior the other a frosh so this is the first year with them both gone.</p>
<p>For some reason, my process has been different. Better first semester. Kinda sad this one. Maybe because D is in England, or maybe SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder.) I know I'll perk up when light comes back and winter is over.</p>
<p>So my advice (for myself for next year) is to get a full spectrum light bulb if you live in northern climes.</p>
<p>Happy for them? Absolutely. But sooooooo quiet and boring around here. And I do work!</p>
<p>I found a lot of my social life related to parents of kids' friends, so I have lost a social network (not close enough to maintain as full fledged friends.) Coincidentally some very close friends happened to drift away right at this time, so new friends, an important order of business.</p>
<p>But I have a few things to accomplish first. This is kind of my winter; working on neglected areas that have needed attention for a long time. Gratifying and responsible, but now always fun.</p>
<p>But hey! Two weeks and its Spring Break. Yay! And I get a week off! Yay! and D is coming from England for a visit. Yay! And crocuses are coming! Yay! Haha. You get the idea. Spring is coming.</p>
<p>We've weathered empty-nest syndrome pretty well, with Dd a senior in college and one a freshman. DH and I joined a gym, we both work fulltime, the dog is a PITA and takes up lots of energy and time, and we are figuring out how we want to participate civically - in short, we are in transition. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be, since the kids are good communicators; in fact, it is strangely relaxing not to have to think about feeding hungry mouths or sharing vehicles and rides, etc. The kids email, call or text once or twice a week, and we've seen them several times since the semester began, since their club sport has tournaments in our area. The biggest, saddest time, though, was when I realized that you never CAN go back in time; that I will never again be a fulltime mom to my toddlers, or high schoolers, etc, and that we will have to work and organize to have family time in a way that we never had to when we lived together. You can't go back - so we are going on, and hoping for grandkids one day ;)</p>
<p>As hard as it may be, try to start letting go now. Don't hang on tightly until August only to feel like they have been ripped from your life on drop-off day.</p>
<p>Let your senior be very independent over the next 6 months if they are not already. Not saying to let them run wild but give them enough freedom/responsibility ( with one comes the other) that they/you can begin to get used to how it will be when they are off to college and you are not advised/consulted about their every move. </p>
<p>If you start loosenig your grip now, it soften the jolt in the Fall.</p>
<p>Sophomore DD pointed out via AIM the other day that the song "You're Gonna Miss This" (Trace Adkins) is the saddest song. I looked it up and she's so right. It's all about the things we don't miss until they're over. </p>
<p>This 2nd year has been harder on me, but it's partially because we've seen, in person, very little of her. We went to her for parent's weekend in October, she was here 4 days for Thanksgiving and a couple weeks for Christmas, but was understandably antsy to get back to the important people there. Spring break is next week, but she'll be off snowboarding with several of those people. She's awaiting responses on summer internships/research programs.</p>
<p>I'm truly happy that her life is wonderful, but - WOW - sometimes how much I miss her hits me incredibly hard.</p>
<p>My advice to kids wondering how to make it easier on parents. Phone calls/texts/email/etc are all great, but the occasional photo attached to a email is FANTASTIC - you get to see the face you miss, too!</p>
<p>my s was away 3 days this week at a scholarship competition and it hit me---he will be gone all the time come august---the crying just came over me--I tried to hide it from my d who came in and asked what was wrong--good oppty to simply tell her how much I love them and its a tough transition---d goes to college year after--thanks for remembering this part of the process nurseratchet---my oldest friend made a quilt for her daughter to take to college--made out of all her old baby and kid clothing -- was very special</p>
<p>This thread is like a great support group. It will def be hard when my S takes off. My W wants him near us and says why should he look anywhere else, he is already accepted in a great school IS. I am more of the "find your niche, take chances, go on adventures" type of person. But deep down, I am going to miss him. My S is the calming factor in the house with 2 teenage female siblings and emotional Mom. I like to escape into his room when the estrogen starts flying at home; we'll sit, chat, watch sports or follow the political news.<br>
I know he enjoys these times as well. So to have him further away where I can't make a quick drive just to have a dinner with him will be difficult. He was away last summer, but only for a couple of weeks, but it is easier to adjust for short terms; it is the long term that is more emotionally intense for us. On the other hand, this is something he has achieved, with very little pushing from mom and dad. So to try and push him to choose the IS school would be a total change of direction and not fair to him. I guess I will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.</p>