<p>Time is coming when inevitably we would have to say yes to only one college and no to so many others. While my D won't have qualms sending thanks but no thanks reply to big U, where she did not make any personal contacts it is different matter with some small LAC's where she became quite familiar with several of admission people/ prof/coaches.
Any ideas what to say in such letter?</p>
<p>Not original to me, but still worth a chuckle:</p>
<p>Dear [insert-college-name-here], </p>
<p>The acceptance committee has met and I am sorry to inform you that [your-name-here] will be unable to attend your school next year. We received [insert-number-here] acceptances this year and we were able to attend only a small percentage of that pool: 1 college, to be exact. </p>
<p>I realize you may be disappointed with this decision. I could not choose to attend all the qualified colleges who accepted me in this admissions cycle. My choice reflects the strength and size of my college pool and is not a judgement on any college's potential as a national doctoral university. </p>
<p>The committee made each decision in the context of the other admissions decisions and therefore, I cannot provide specific reasons why certain colleges were not chosen. I know this explanation may not be consoling, but it is as much as can be practically given. </p>
<p>Sometimes I am asked to reconsider a decision. All of our decisions are final and as a result, I do not have an appeals process. I imagine you are hearing from other students this week, and that you have a fine freshman class. </p>
<p>I wish you well as you continue the college acceptances process. </p>
<p>Sincerely, </p>
<p>[your-name-here]
Dean of Acceptances</p>
<p>My S had to turn down several schools where people went out of there way for him. He hated having to do it; would have been happy at any of the schools. It was very hard to do. He did send personal notes to the people who had shown him special attention, telling him how much he appreciated all they'd done for him, that it was a very difficult decision to make, because he knew he would have done well and enjoyed it there. He told them where he had decided to attend. It helped that the school he chose gave him a huge scholarship and a president's award.</p>
<p>I did console him a bit with the fact that these people hear "no" every year, and it was probably a bigger deal to him than to them. I also - and I have no idea if this was appropriate; it was a gut response - sent the teachers an email myself (after giving S's response time to get there) and thanking the teachers for the extra care they extended my son. I got nice emails back from them, too.</p>
<p>The one thing I wish would have happened differently is I wish my S would have responded faster. We prodded him to send them his decision, but because it was hard to do, he procrastinated. That meant he actually ended up telling one teacher when the man called to offer more money.</p>
<p>Most of my son's schools sent a reply card, with only the briefest space for remarks. If you want to thank a helpful individual, I would send a separate letter to that effect without waiting for an acceptance.</p>
<p>I too was saddened to say No to a couple of the schools...of the 6 options, 2 of them had coaches who had gone out of their way to help me in learning about the program and sport, one who even came all the way out west to visit & meet my D. Both schools had nice people who were in touch, and both coaches really encouraged D and hoped she'd choose their school, gave great tours, went out of their way to give of their personal time to assist us in the university decision. Both D & I mailed notes, and like binx, some nice scholarships at the school she chose did help explain the choice.</p>
<p>The couple of personal letters my son sent last year included heartfelt words about his respect for the school, his admiration for their program, the fact that it was difficult to make his decision, and that he was honored to have been accepted. And then some personal words of thanks to the individual who'd been in contact with him. It was not easy, but he felt strongly that he needed to do it. (And he got a written reply to one of his letters from a Dean of Admissions.) I think it's a very good idea for a student to write to those who have been so involved and supportive; congrats to your D for being ready and willing to acknowledge the personal involvement of those who took her interests to heart. They do know that not every student will accept <em>them</em> -- nice to add that respectful closure.</p>
<p>"Thanks, I wish I had more than one life to live so I could attend your school too."</p>
<p>What a great thread! My DD and I have been discussing this one lately and are worried about one safety where a lot of folks have sent in rec letters for their most prestigious scholarship- one person made a personal visit,etc. Anyway- I think it is important to have a lot of irons in the fire but when it comes time, it is good to recognize the schools that have shown sincere interest.</p>
<p>Our son wrote a personal letter to one school that he had visited twice and met faculty. They also had offered a merit award. It is just good manners! Also, people and plans do change. You would have a better chance to reconnect with people you had treated fairly.</p>