OP stated the girl is unwilling to see her doctor.
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My take and others may disagree butā¦
Unless the only problem is definitely who she is talking toāsocial media, peer groupāin which case is a whole different ball of wax which does not appear to be the case at this point from what you sayā¦
I would not take her phone away to āconvinceā her of anything. The only thing that convinces her of is you are totally unreasonable (in her eyes), controlling, and taking away what may be her ālifelineā to her friends. If she didnāt trust you to help her before noAw youāve proven it by taking her lifeline to her friends.
Main thing is get an appointment with a psych professional and just say youāre going (because we love you). In person!
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So that leaves the OPās question-how to get the girl to attend a meeting with any doctor or therapist ( or even get in the car with OP). ? From OPās posts they have already tried asking and pleading.
OP stated the girl was unwilling to continue with the first therapist, and refused to deal with the online therapist.
Presumably there is a physician who knows the D- not a therapist, but her PCP? D likely needs a check up before school startsā¦ and a physician who already has a relationship with the kid will have more authority than the parentsā¦
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Apparently not, see post 3.
OP posted sheās afraid parents are taking her to the therapist.
So- the D can take herself to her OWN doctor, by herself. Bus, train, uberā¦ a high school kid can get back and forth from the doctorās office by herself.
@blossom , that was the thing we did in last October when we noticed her grades drastically went down and she started crying when casually asked about it. We took her to the pediatrician and she gave her some questionnaire. She said, it was maybe little bit of anxiety and she probably needs few sessions. Then we scheduled an appointment with the counselor but it didnāt work out the way I mentioned in my post. After that she was reluctant to even see a doctor as sheās afraid weāre taking that as a excuse and discussing her mental condition too.
"Sheās not ready to come to pediatrician " sounds to me like she refuses to attend regardless of how she gets there. The most recent post suggests that.
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I am wondering if something is going on with her on social media. I hear time and time again that social media is the source of a lot of emotional issues with teens.
No test prep or academics this summer (and no test prep ever!).
One of mine developed bipolar 1 at 17. I told her she was almost 18 and that soon I would not be able to force meds or therapy and I saw no point in standing there watching her take her pills. She did not take them and left for awhile, then came back and was very compliant- on her terms at that point.
Hard as it is, unless your daughter is a danger to self and others, you cannot force her to do anything and I would not try to manipulate the situation. I was told by a professional back the, the more you chase, the more they withdraw or resist.
I would tell your daughter that she is almost an adult and you want to respect that. That you are concerned and are there to support when she is ready.
Does she have a job or anything to do this summer/ And watch out for clues there is social media drama going on.
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Once she had viral and cough. I had to really convince her in May to take her for fever. I was thinking of talking to the doctor that but I wanted to keep her trust and didnāt discuss.
So the question remains, how to get an unwilling and uncooperative ( and possibly seriously ill) teen ( hopefully not yet 18) to a much needed medical appointment.
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I agree but she definitely needs to see a therapist before she goes to college otherwise itās going to be tough for us to send her to the college.
No, sheās just volunteering.
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I sympathize and have no tried and true suggestions. I agree in the advice above about saying how much you love her and that you want to try and get her some help. Have you tried asking her, āWhat would you need in order to go to theā¦ā (pediatrician/therapist/whoever)? Try and see what she thinks would be sufficient motivation? Or present her with options like, would you like me, your dad, your other trusted family member or family friend, to take you? Or, after you go and participate in the appointment we could go out to eat at your favorite restaurant, or do your favorite activity, or something else that would appeal to her?
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Actually she needs another vaccine before school starts and I showed her the email from the school. Can I talk to the doctor before appointment and also request the vaccine in the same visit?
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That is a good idea
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LOL. Yep. Bribing (restaurants, a game, whatever) is a true and time tested way to get things accomplished. Not a bad idea at all. I know it runs against the grain but a ājust do this for us (and you)ā¦whatās the downside?ā is a decent tactic when things are necessary.
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what doctor? Iām confused now.
I donāt think that works as she eats outside many times with friends.
Thatās what I need to ask them if they can have both the therapist or CBT doctor and also a pediatrician in the same visit. I am also I can play this trick only once but what to do for the next recurring appointments?
Another thought is, are there any therapists who do at-home visits? If your daughter refuses to go to the health professionalās office, and refuses to engage in an online session, then perhaps an in-person session at home might work?