My friend and I have been good friends throughout high school. We became friends about two years ago and are close not but super close. We are both attending the same college next year which is really exciting! However, we had discussed rooming together and I was considering it but now I have decided against it. I have actually met someone online and we will definitely be rooming together. I feel like rooming with someone new is part of the college experience but I can’t wait to go to college with someone I already know and get along with. How do I break the news to my friend without ruining our friendship? Thank you!!
I would just be honest with your friend. It’s true that you will probably want to branch out from your high school peers in college because it is a new experience and you want to start fresh. Just tell your friend the reasons you mentioned above and tell them that you will be sure to hang out with them. Chances are you two will probably part ways unless you have the same class or same club interests. It is nice to have someone on campus you are familiar with the first few weeks of school, but don’t let it hinder you making friends with new people. I think if your friend is mature enough then they shouldn’t mind and move on. If they do mind then just tell them that it they need to respect your decision. Good luck!
Just tell your friend what you said here. You’ll still hang out at college, but you don’t have to live together. My best friend from high school and I went to the same college. We did not live together our first year of school, but we did our second year. It was great.
Added to other comments, you could argue that - if each of you makes friends with your new roommate - you will double your friendship circle!
Tell her ASAP. It will be better in the long run that way, even if it is a little uncomfortable at first.
I would tell her that you have read alot of stories (look for them here on CC) about friends that room together end up hating each other…incompatible with sleep/messiness/etc
Tell her that you know starting college is an anxious time for everyone, and that rooming with someone seems like a good idea, but if you have different roommates you will have more people that you know and you won’t drive each other crazy living together. Say that you definitely want to stay friends and get together, but also see college as a way to expand who you know.
I would tell them the way that you already expressed yourself at the top of the thread. I also think that it’s a bad idea to room with people that you’re too comfortable with regardless.
I think you’re making a wise decision. I was in your position a zillion years ago and I chose not to room with a stranger; it was a mistake. Not because it damaged our relationship, but because it made it took longer to make other friends. I’d tell your friend you want to room separately so you can instantly double your circle of friends, but I wouldn’t tell her that you already found a roommate because it would probably hurt her feelings. Tell her right away, though, so she has time to find one.
Parent here, but I can’t imagine choosing to live with a stranger over a reasonably good friend unless there was some reason to believe rooming with the friend would create problems. I don’t think it will keep you from making friends, and it might help you make friends.
There are myriad posts on CC about roommate disasters, where two people are sharing a room and they just don’t click. You don’t run this risk when rooming with a friend. Of course, if the girl gets on your nerves or is enjoyable in small doses, that’s another matter.
By all means make your own choice; just understand that there are costs and benefits with whatever choice you make.