<p>My grandpa might die, he's in the hospital now and they don't know how long he'll make it. He could die before I have to go back to school and we'd have the funeral and be done...but could be a while.</p>
<p>My parents said it's my choice if I want to miss school and fly back here, but they said they and the rest of the family doesn't expect me to be there or look bad if I'm not there because I'm in college far away from home. Some of my other older cousins definitely won't be there because they are older than me and have families of their own and little kids and live even further away than I am and they can't afford to pay airfare/hotels for several people to fly back here. But for me, if I am ok with missing school (???), they'll pay for me to fly back, get and take me back to the airport, etc. whenever I have to leave and fly back again.</p>
<p>In general, how understanding would most profs be if I have to go and miss 1-2 days (depending on what day of the week it is for the funeral, and when the flights are)?</p>
<p>Right now, I have to fly back to school next Tuesday night and classes start Wednesday morning.</p>
<p>1-2 days is nothing really. If you’re worried about participation points or something, contact your profs. Otherwise, it’s no big deal. People miss the first class or two all the time for various reasons (meeting with advisors, enrolling late, etc). If you’re really worried, contact them, but they likely won’t care.</p>
<p>If you’re going to miss the first meeting, you absolutely have to let your professors know. In both the colleges I’ve attended, if you didn’t come to the first meeting, they would kick you out. They’ll likely be understanding- after all, they’re people and probably have families of their own.</p>
<p>I don’t want to email professors yet…especially since we don’t know anything yet. There might be absolutely no reason yet…the doctors don’t know what’s going to happen yet. </p>
<p>If there is a funeral, it will happen very last minute, and I’ll have probably 2 days between when I find out and to contact profs, buy a plane ticket, figure out homework stuff/people getting me notes from class, etc.</p>
<p>Also, some of the profs I have I don’t know them yet at all and I don’t want to email them about this already, when they don’t even know me yet and bug them already about it since I don’t know what’s going to happen yet.</p>
<p>I have figured out people that I’d know in the classes that I’d need notes from, by checking the class list on my online account, so I know who to talk to for notes and give them my voice recorder because I like to take my own notes and not rely on other people’s notes, I just never have liked that even in high school, I want to hear the lectures myself and take my own notes and not hope that they actually got everything written down that I’d want.</p>
<p>contact them as soon you know… Communication is the key in situations like these. Many schools have policies (on your behalf) for death in the family situations. Where I go, you get a total of three days excused for a death in the family. Its to the point where you haft to provide documentation to the dean of the dept.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather’s illness. </p>
<p>As TylerL pointed out, communication is very important in this kind of circumstance. As you probably know, the “dead grandparent” excuse has become the new “dog ate my homework” for many college students. (Clearly, no one who uses this as a fake excuse has ever had to deal with your situation first hand!) The problem becomes, then, that many professors will immediately wonder if your story has any credibility.</p>
<p>This is where making it a point to contact them at the beginning of the semester to alert them to the situation can be helpful rather than springing the information on them as you’re leaving town. This is especially true if there’s a quiz or other assignment that you will be missing. Some profs may demand proof of the death; don’t take this personally.</p>
<p>In terms of whether you decide to stay at school or fly home, the question really is, in ten years, which will you regret more? Getting points off on your quiz/class participation or Not being with your family to honor your grandfather’s life?</p>
<p>Family emergencies like death are generally excusable in terms of absences. Just give them notice as soon as you know something and it should be fine.</p>
<p>Family emergencies are usually excused. You may have to work out arrangements with your professor and be proactive about that, but they are usually understanding.</p>
<p>It’s a bit funny though - I was talking to one of my TAs last semester and she was saying that all the professors in the department complain because around exam time, there are always like ten dead grandmothers, which is statistically very unlikely, and it’s really offensive to call people out on lying about it. Even asking for documentation is a little awkward and most professors don’t really like to do it. It’s sad that people who lie about that can screw it up for those who really have a problem, but I suppose there are lots of things like that in the world.</p>
<p>Rox, I have a professor who makes you bring something from the funeral (a pamphlet thing or something that they give out). He made his policy very clear at the beginning of the semester. Can’t say I blame him.</p>
<p>When my grandmother passed away, my professors were very understanding. I even had to make up a midterm in one of my classes, and that wasn’t a problem. I contacted my adviser and she made sure to keep my professors in the loop. </p>
<p>I would recommend going. At the beginning of the semester there is so much movement in and out of classes missing a class or two shouldn’t be a big deal. (It should also be early enough in the semester that any “catching up” can happen before things get too crazy.)</p>
<p>I agree that you should contact your professors and your adviser. In addition, if you live on campus and if you are not returning to college before classes start I would suggest letting housing know about your plans.</p>
<p>Well now everything has changed…he’s out of the hospital as of today and actually got somewhat better. They moved him back into the assisted living home he was at. At this point, we have no idea if it will be a few days, or if he’s actually going to be ok and live a while yet! He got worse and worse over the past couple days and then seemed to get better and the hospital didn’t want him there anymore so he had to go back to the assisted living place, although my mom doesn’t think he will make it very long there without a lot of help (mom and her sister are both powers of attorney for him)…he really should be in a nursing home for the care he needs. He had pneumonia and that’s what put him in the hospital at night on Christmas day, but also had Alzheimer’s really bad.</p>
<p>Something could happen yet this weekend, but as of now, we’re planning that I just fly back to school when I was supposed to and see what happens. My parents talked about it some more and now they really think I shouldn’t fly back and miss school, but I’m not sure…at this point since we again don’t know anything, I’m just going to wait and see what happens and plan on going back to school and staying there for now.</p>