How would you advise your daughter re: career?

Parents Forum
1

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on these forums (who knew that I would end up doing college instead of just posting about it? :wink: ) but I’ve been thinking about a few career-related questions and decided I would like the advice of the resident CC sages :slight_smile:

I’m a college junior and doing very well in my chemistry major. My adviser is strongly encouraging me to go to graduate school for biochemistry, molecular biology, or pharmacology (my main areas of interest, though those could change). I’ve had an interest in education for a long time and am thinking I would like to teach chemistry/biology at the college (either 4-year or community college) or secondary (private high school) level after grad school. But I’m open to lots of other possibilities.

At the same time, I’ve been in a serious relationship with a really great guy for about a year and a half. We’re not engaged, and wouldn’t be for at least another year, but nevertheless I’ve been thinking about how that might impact my career plans. Whether it’s with this guy or someone else farther down the road, I would love to have (lots of?) kids and invest most of my time in my family. This doesn’t seem to be a typical ambition in CC-land, but what the heck, I want it anyways.

In light of this, career flexibility is important to me. It would be great to be able to take a few years off and then jump back into the workplace, or to shift to part-time work relatively easily. Of course, I don’t want to base all my career plans on a hypothetical family (what if the relationship doesn’t work out? or the kids never come? etc.). And I know I have plenty of time-- don’t worry, I’m in no rush :slight_smile:

Do any of y’all have advice? I would appreciate thoughts from CC moms who’ve walked this tightrope and can reflect on what they’ve learned/wish they had done differently.

2

Academia is a good career for a Mom since you have summers off, long winter breaks, and are only in the classroom 12-15 a week.

3

Finish school first.

4

@nw2this

And those in academia are also expected to do significant research and publications. They also advise students, and have other department related responsibilities. It’s not like they are sitting around drinking tea.

And some choose to teach in the summer.

5

A lot can change in 5-10 years.

Follow your heart’s desire now that you are single and without significant obligations. When you are at the point in your career when you want to start a family, look at things then.

6

Teaching is a noble profession that doesn’t get much discussion on CC. Don’t do it unless you enjoy it or it will be frustrating. Don’t listen to the 10-15 hours in the classroom because there is plenty other that goes with it unless you are strictly an adjunct at a college.

HS Chemistry teachers are probably in high demand in most places. Work hours and holidays align with kids school hours (once they start school).

You mention pharmacology. If you pursued a career as a pharmacist, you may have per diem options after working full-time for a number of years. Per diem work in medical fields can be flexible although unpredictable on hours.

7

@thumper1

Yes, I know. You still need child care, but your hours are flexible and you might be able to write your research papers at home. So, still a good career for work/family balance compared a job in which you have to be in the office 60-80 hours a week like a lawyer at a law firm.

8

I suggest getting a job that interests you after you get your undergrad. Try it for a while, go to grad school at night and reevaluate in a few years. Many employers will help pay for grad school too. My undergrad is in Chemistry and my masters in plastics engineering. Have you done any internships, maybe you don’t need to try out a career before grad school.

9

Wow. Academia is NOT a particularly family friendly career, at least at the 4 year university level. The pressure to publish and get grants is enormous, and comes particularly right at the time a woman is dealing with that ticking clock. I would say that teaching at the HS level is much more family-friendly as you describe it in terms of having more time for spending with children (and doesn’t require a PhD either).

BUT I would encourage you to choose the next stage of your life not with that in mind. You can always mold a career into something that suits you and your desired family life; however you can’t craft a career without the required schooling (whatever that is). Looking too far down the road will limit you, and you may change your mind about your desires and priorities.

10

I have a graduate degree in chemistry and have been working as a chemist (both in private industry and in academics) for a long, long time.

My first piece of advice is this: before you commit to grad school, make sure you enjoy chemistry/ molecular biology/ pharmacology… and make sure you’re willing to commit to it. Speaking from my own experience, you need to really, really love what you’re doing and be willing to expend a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to lab work in order to succeed. So, do you really enjoy it? Do you like working in lab? (When I was a grad student, I spent about 90 hours a week in lab or in class.) Do you have a lot of drive and perseverance? And do you know what the job prospects are for your chosen field?

As far as a career - my work/life balance was a lot easier to achieve when I worked in private industry. We had on-site daycare, pretty liberal parental leave policies, flex-time, and job-sharing. My employer prided itself on being family-friendly, and it wasn’t just lip service. For example, I worked from 6 AM to about 3 PM when my daughter was young so I could spend more time with her. My choices were supported by my supervisor and endorsed by my employer.

So that’s the good news. The bad news is that many of those jobs (synthetic chemistry, pharmaceutical industry) have disappeared or are much more difficult to find. That’s why you need to be careful when choosing an area or sub-specialty of science when you’re considering careers and grad school.

In my experience (and from what I can see now), academia is not really THAT family friendly, at least for those starting out and looking for tenure. I have a friend who just got tenure who has 2 small children. She routinely puts in 60-70 hour workweeks in the lab. She puts in extra hours at home, writing grants and papers. She told me that the only way she can make it work is that her husband does not work outside the home.

I am also certified to teach HS chemistry. To me, secondary-school teaching offers a lots of pluses, including a good work-life balance. Just be sure to research what credentials you need to teach in your state (if you’re serious about that career).

First things first, though. Do some research on grad school to see if it’s for you. Good luck!

11

As the mother of an education major, I’m going to agree that teaching doesn’t get much attention on these forums. D is a graduate of a public STEM middle/HS and her math and science teachers majored in their area then got MIT degrees. There is a high demand for both STEM teachers, as mentioned above. D’s teachers brought their love of the subjects to their classrooms and the kids really picked up on that. The same person taught both chem and physics-though D is a humanities kid, she loved both classes because of the teacher.

Try not to be wedded to private school teaching. There are some interesting public STEM schools that are just begging for good teachers. But don’t be fooled by those who say it’s not hard work. You WILL work more than a few hours a day. But the rewards can be great-D’s teachers truly love what they do. That said, some of the teachers at her school have taken leave (both men and women) to spend more time with their kids.

You also mention pharmacy-it pays very well and will allow you to work in many different settings. My sister has worked in a compounding pharmacy-long hours, not 9-5 and a niche pharmacy in a hospital, better hours, better pay, more flexibility. She started at a mail-order pharmacy though, best pay, best benefits and strictly 9-5. Easy work, too.

Good luck, whatever you do!

12

Have you considered pharmacy as a career? That’s what I did.
Lots of options in community or hospital settings (I preferred hospital).
Great part time opportunities with decent pay and it isn’t difficult to jump back into the work force if you keep your license up. And every little community has a pharmacy so you don’t need to worry much about where you’ll end of living.

13

Write your research papers at home? Do you actually know any scientists NW2this?

Research in any scientific field is an intensely competitive, hands-on, face-time activity. You need to be in a lab (which is where chemistry research gets done- not in your kitchen) working with mentors and colleagues and students and competing for grants and fellowships and vying to present at conferences in your field.

The women I know who have chosen an academic career in the sciences are candid that since your “up for tenure” years coincide with your “I’m having babies NOW or potentially not having them at all”, it is a poor career choice UNLESS you have a spouse who is committed to childcare (even at the expense of his own career advancement) or will be content to trade off professional success with their family life.

But OP- you are young. Lean in right now. The world is your oyster- you don’t need to lock yourself in to a mommy track type career right now- the work world changes quickly and you want to end up doing something you love.

14

Not to be nit-picky - but OP mentioned grad school in pharmacology, not pharmacy. Similar but not identical.

I, too, think pharmacy school would be a good option - especially since there’s an option for part-time work as a pharmacist if/when you want it.

15

I’m an RN and now NP. At any point in my career, literally, I have been able to work as much or as little as I want.

When I was a new graduate, I worked three 12 hr shifts in critical care.

When my child was little I worked four days per week from 8-2 (special rehab unit)

When I was in graduate school I worked 1-2 twelve hour shifts per week as a PRN RN in ER and trauma.

When I became an NP I worked 2-3 10 hr days in family practice. I scaled that back to 24 hrs per week doing home care as an NP. I create my own schedule. And now that I’m preparing for an empty nest and tuition payments, a new job literally fell in my lap. It will also be part time but will more than pay for tuition.

For me, flexibility and the ability to care for my family were key in choosing a career. I love what I do, but I love the flexibility even more. By choice, H has always been the main breadwinner but when he was laid off I stepped up to full-time and we were fine and that was always our plan.

I actually have expressed concern for my daughter who wants to be an engineer. I fear she will leave the workplace completely when she had a family— but people have assured me there are family friendly companies out there? So I try not to be pushy about it.

Message me if you want to discuss it further. Obviously you have to want the career of a nurse and not just do it because it is flexible!

16

@blossom

Yes, I know and work with many but I will say that we are social science/health care/education researchers with research assistants instead of laboratory researchers so maybe that makes it different.

17

“Academia is a good career for a Mom since you have summers off, long winter breaks, and are only in the classroom 12-15 a week.”

I don’t know ANYONE teaching high-school or college who has summers off, long winter breaks, and only in the classroom 12-15 hours a week. The ones I have known either teach summer school or work in some other summer job to make enough money to live on. Their “long winter breaks” are spent planning lessons, grading exams and, for the science teachers, getting ready for the science fairs that start in January. And, they spend many, many additional hours outside the classroom planning lessons, grading papers, tutoring kids before and after school and during their lunches, attending professional development classes, and keeping up with research/trends. Whew! Not to mention, that they have terrible times when they have to find subs on those days when a kid is suddenly sick (because kids tend to get sick in waves depleting available subs) or they themselves are sick. Not to mention that they also have to pick up and taxi around their own children to various activities.

My advice would be to pursue whatever career you want as a single person. If and when you do get married and have children and want to teach, you can work toward a teaching certificate through alternative certification.

18

@tutumom2001

I agree I never meant to imply that these professionals sit around and do nothing during breaks, only that they can be at home (along with a child care person) while doing all the extras.

And community college instructors don’t really have to publish at all, so they really could take breaks off if they didn’t need extra money.

19

The best advice my mother gave me was to be sure I had lived some life before settling down. She did and realized that her friends who didn’t have that period of exploring and doing, that self reliance, missed something, when life’s challenges came. (You can still be attached, have that relationship. But you’re building your own sense of self and self worth, taking on your own challenges, indulging your own whims a bit, before becoming one team/one couple identity.)

I told my girls the same. It also made for some great stories and influences from my mother, as I grew up.

Finish the degree, see what appeals to you, a year from now. Chem may open doors to all sorts of opportunities. It’s not really an either/or, either the intensity of grad school or the lower key life to stay in a relationship.

20

Suggesting working for a cc misses that even that work is hard to find, enough classes to add to a decent salary. Sometimes, without job security. Maybe OP finds a moment to head for the career office, at school. And if she’s interested in grad school, looks into what’s possible that, as the next 18 months pass, works for her relationship, same location, etc.