<p>I was talking to the guy who poured the foundations for our addition the other day. He was talking about a new foundation system that someone was trying to sell him, but the manual was over 200 pages. He said, “I haven’t read a book since I graduated from high school, I’m certainly not going to start now!” It made me sad, but that’s a guy who is almost certainly better off having gone into business for himself. Like anyone in construction, I’m sure he’s had his ups and downs, but he seems happy and productive.</p>
<p>I’d have been upset if my kids didn’t go to college, because their talents require college, but it’s not for everyone. I think if anything we send too many kids to college instead of having them learn useful vocational skills.</p>
<p>It’s all about the plan. I know what I pay for plumbers and electricians. If my S wants to go into that, fine. But I doubt he will. Those people get called out on holidays to fix things.</p>
<p>Doctors work holidays, too…</p>
<p>One of my cousins went to college but he just wasn’t mature enough and with his new found freedom partied to much. Of course he flunked out. His parents wasted a lot of money on him. His dad got him a job with his company and he was doing mostly manual labor and driving a delivery truck. Good work, but my cousin finally figured out he could do better. He went back and got a 2 year technical school degree (from a state technical school) and did great with that. It was where he should have been all along as it matched his interests very well.</p>
<p>No sense forcing someone to go to college if they aren’t ready and have no desire to be there. </p>
<p>Also don’t get fooled by averages. Many people don’t go to college and do just fine. Those with no ambition will not go to college and also won’t do well in life. They will skew any averages you can find. There are also those that go to college and don’t do well either, just fewer of them to skew the averages as it does take some ambition just to get into college.</p>
<p>Plenty of college students graduate without a plan, too. I try to support my non-college kid in the same way I would the kids in the family who are in or did go to college. LIfe is full of zigs and zags for all of them. </p>
<p>This thread assumes that it is the kid who decides not to go to college, but I know many who don’t even have the option: their parents won’t pay. I find those who have parents who will not pay for college, and who are working in hard jobs like waitressing or landscaping, to be very mature and impressive. Many of those I know are waiting to turn 23 so financial aid will be based on their own income, not the parents. Some are academically talented.</p>
<p>The majority of college students these days are not traditional age and are not living on campus. There are so many ways to do college, including adult learner programs, online and low-residency, continuing education programs and so on. There is no rush. And if someone finds a way to support themselves ultimately without college, all the better, if that person is not academically inclined and/opr has some other talent.</p>
<p>The pressure to do college is getting ridiculous. We have degree inflation that is killing everyone financially. Sometimes my fantasy is that everyone rebels and college returns to an intellectual endeavor only for those who are talented in that way and truly want to go. (Our economy might collapse! Colleges are big business and the government makes a lot of money off all these loans!)</p>
<p>Most jobs that require a college education from applicants do not really require it in order to get the job done. It would be great if we could go back to on the job training. Bachelor’s degrees are just used as a screening tool and have little to do with actual competence on the job in many situations.</p>
<p>ps The media today, in articles on predatory companies offering “help” with loans, offer the following quote:</p>
<p>"Student loan debt hovers at more than $1trillion, a threefold surge from a decade ago, and a record number of college students who graduated as the financial system nearly imploded have an average debt load of more than $20,000.</p>
<p>More than half of recent graduates are unemployed. And if they do have a job, it is probably a low-paying one that does not require and expensive college degree. Some Americans…are still struggling to pay off their student loans well into their 50’s."</p>
<p>Maybe those who are not going to college are the smart ones, at least in some cases.</p>
<p>It would all depend upon the student and the plan.</p>
<p>If the student wanted to join the military, get into a trade school or other apprentice type of deal, or had a decent job lined up, then I’d be as supportive as heading the college route.</p>
<p>If their plan were to sit at home and play video games or hang out with pals while working a minimum wage job part time hours for “spending money” then I would not support them.</p>
<p>I’ve seen many kids who weren’t sure about college and opted to work for a couple of years, see the earning and job potential difference themselves, then head to school.</p>
<p>I’ve also seen many students who were perfectly happy with their non-4 year college jobs.</p>
<p>As long as they can support themselves and are content with the path they choose, that’s what counts.</p>
<p>We have, however, in our parenting, pointed out to our high school aged guys the difference in job opportunities and general overall income that having that piece of paper can bring. All three of mine have willingly opted for college. Oldest graduated this year and is employed in his field.</p>
<p>I don’t believe the majority of college grads have difficulty getting employed, albeit, some are likely not in their field. Current stats show that those with a bachelors or higher have a 3.3% unemployment rate. The highest that rate has been in the past year is 3.9%. No other category has been that LOW in the past year…</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.t04.htm”>http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.t04.htm</a></p>
<p>The article I just quoted said that more than half of recent- emphasize recent- college grads are unemployed and among those who do have a job most are low-paying and don’t require a degree. Many find their way in time.</p>
<p>So many many college grads are living with their parents and being supported by their parents. I don’t see why we wouldn’t support a kid who is not going to college in the same way. Most working in restaurants or stores etc. are not making enough to support themselves and still need help, as do most recent grads.</p>
<p>I would be disappointed. </p>
<p>
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<p>So do cooks, caterers, waitstaff, nurses, tow truck operators, and innumerable other people. None of whom are typically as well compensated as plumbers and doctors.</p>
<p>My youngest wanted to go to culinary school. We asked her to get her undergrad first and will still pay for culinary when she is done. We will pay for all education. </p>
<p>But, if she had to take on debt in order to get an undergrad? I would encourage her to simply follow her dreams. I’m not really that worried about a kid who wants to “do something else”. I think it’s possible the economy is changing and we will see more kids not pay that fee for the degree. I would be concerned by a kid who had no ideas of their own and no dreams or ambition. </p>
<p>But it’s easy for me to say. My kid is doing what I asked and doing well. </p>
<p>My bright kid crashed and burned last year (freshman engineering major). An expensive experiment for us; for him, a realization that he wanted to be more “hands-on”…He will be starting in the fall at a local technical college to get 2 Associates degrees in 3 years. The school boasts a 98% job placement rate in his majors, as well as an opportunity for a bachelor’s in management with 2 more years of classes (should he so choose). He seems much more excited about starting school this year, fingers crossed.</p>
<p>I won’t deny we are hurt, angry, disappointed, perhaps even embarrassed…but we pledged to him 4 years of tuition, so we will support him in this education too even though it is not the traditional path we expected.</p>
<p>If my kid was Taylor Swift, I might be OK with it!
Seriously- college is not right for many kids, and some boys in particular take a lot longer to be “ready” than others. My co-worker (she and her husband are both lawyers) have a son who just bombed out of High Point after one year. He REALLY wants to go to college, but is simply not able to apply himself, go to class and actually do the work. He is begging to go back (somewhere that will take him) in the fall, but there is no way that he is ready to succeed. He did not avail himself of all the tools High Point provided in terms of check-ins, study help etc. It’s tough, but it just isn’t the right path for everyone.</p>
<p>Yes, some of the vocations I listed have physical stresses. But so do nursing, physical therapy, medicine. And there are mental stressors in jobs like medicine, law, engineering.</p>
<p>I am happy for my kids’ choices…as long as they are happy with their choices.</p>
<p>@MomofWildChild - I’m afraid S2 will be like your son’s co-worker. He’s bright but just not motivated, and I will be surprised if he makes it though his first year without academic probation. He’s a little on the fence about the whole thing himself and if he decided that college isn’t right for him at this time, H and I would be supportive. </p>
<p>Sitting at a desk all day also does “a number” on your body.</p>
<p>So many members of my extended family grew up in a poor family that could not afford to send them to college straight out of HS. Most of them enlisted into the military, went to college on the GI bill, then went on to successful careers. Among them is an army colonel, an airline pilot, and a general contractor. </p>
<p>If my kids did not go to college directly out of HS, I’d be OK w it-- provided they were doing something productive with their lives. None of this BS about taking a gap year on mom & dad’s dime to backpack thru Europe to find one’s self… </p>