Success, choices and quitting

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I wasn't sure where to post this, but I figured here was as good as anywhere else. </p>

<p>I recently decided to leave school. I'm 20 and have just finished my second year at VCU. College, it's true, is so much better than high school... but I'm not getting what I want, and I'm sure paying oodles of money for not getting what I want! I'm definitely not your average drop-out... I'm "gifted", motivated, energetic and cooperative, who speaks four languages and writes code. My parents were stunned when I told them I wasn't going back in the fall. I'll be working full-time and directing my own education- feels like God's smiled on me. The only problem is that everybody I've told seems to have some problem with it...</p>

<p>"Who'll respect you after you couldn't finish college?"
"You won't be able to get a job doing what you love. But, that's your choice."
"But you've put so much <em>money</em> into your education!"
"You'll see, once you start working at a minimum-wage job with no money and no respect, you'll regret this decision..."</p>

<p>As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather stay an office gofer all my life, making consciously self-interested decisions, than follow a path someone else set out so that I could at least feel good about how people see me-- even though I'd be short-changing <em>myself</em>. </p>

<p>What do you think?</p>

2

<p>Hard to say since you don't mention what you <em>do</em> plan on doing.</p>

3

<p>You are joining the ranks of the likes of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Plus, you can always go back to school, there is no rush.</p>

4

<p>Im wondering why " you aren't getting what you want".
what does that mean?
What do you want and what is standing in your way?</p>

5

<p>I guess you are better off than some people. I have a cousin who is graduating from high school this month and doesn't seem to have any motivation to do anything. He grew up in an environment where education is not highly valued but he is also very lazy. He has never held a job in his life, not even a part-time job in high school. A great option for him would be to enlist in the military and work in some kind of technical discipline. I seriously doubt he will do that. I would have gone into the Air Force if I didn't go to college.</p>

6

<p>demingy Hard to say since you don't mention what you <em>do</em> plan on doing.</p>

<p>Besides working full-time at some meaningless entry-level job? I plan to educate myself, using the tons of resources available to me. College courses never did too much for me; my preferred method of learning is to plunge into a specific topic in-depth for several weeks, enthusiastically filling my spare time with (whatever it might be). The best learning I ever did I did at [url=<a href="http://www.jhu.edu/%7Egifted/summer/catalogs/osstudentlife.html%5DCTY%5B/url"&gt;http://www.jhu.edu/~gifted/summer/catalogs/osstudentlife.html]CTY[/url&lt;/a&gt;], which, coincidentally enough, follows that pattern. It doesn't really matter that much what the subject is; honestly, I've found that any subject can hold my interest if approached the right way. (I attended a lecture on corn silos that was enthralling, simply because the speaker made it so.) I think my first choice'll be sociology.</p>

<p>emeraldkity4 Im wondering why " you aren't getting what you want".
what does that mean?
What do you want and what is standing in your way?</p>

<p>I want to make decisions that make sense for me, without undue influence. Right now, I'm young and ready to take on the world, but I'm not ready to specialize heavily just yet. The truth is, my information about postsecondary education was mistaken: it's not a place to explore the world, broaden your horizons, so on and so forth. More so than high school, but I submit you'd get the same broadening by moving to a new town and finding a crowd of pretentious intellectuals to spend time with. I calculated using VCU's guidelines, and I discovered that the mandatory Gen Ed requirements + the usual requirements for a major take up at least seven semesters. Given the usual four-year finish line, that leaves you one whole semester to do yer explorin' in. Plus, all the lower-level courses I've been in were irritatingly shallow. My sociology course this semester in particular ended just as we finished the unit on mass media, which, of course, was frustratingly, tantalizingly superficial. My conclusion is that if you're not interested in various sundries and trying out novel subjects.ideas.approaches, and you have a ready interest in one field, college is a great place to be. For example, my boyfriend is a physicist who is now a Ph.D. candidate. He excelled in both under- and post-grad pursuits. </p>

<p>Another part of it is that VCU specifically is not the place for me. As an Asian studies major(the only one, actually), it's difficult to meet my needs. The general advisors were disheartening(they tried to steer me into Art Appreciation after telling me I wasn't welcome in the interior design course for non-majors I was lusting for. It was listed as a possibility on the humanities requirement sheet. Oops!), and it's been a year since I declared my major and I have yet to be able to make an appointment with my advisor. Her office hours last semester were 2-3 p.m., Tuesdays. I keed you not. What's more, this semester she's in Peru... I could transfer, but I think it would be overly difficult to find a college that I felt great about; but more importantly, I'm not leaving Richmond for the foreseeable future, due to filial duties and family needs.</p>

7

<p>When someone drops out of college, especially unexpectedly, loved ones may say something that sounds cruel or unsupportive without really meaning to. They are probably just concerned about your future.</p>

<p>IMO, if you feel that you should quit school and work full-time, that's probably what you should do. Working may be the most wonderful thing that's happened to you. But you may decide, perhaps next year, that having a degree <em>does</em> matter, because certain opportunities may be unavailable to you without one. Remember, if you leave, don't burn any bridges, leave in good standing, and then, if you change your mind, you can return to school older and probably wiser. ;)</p>

8

<p>justinmeche I guess you are better off than some people...</p>

<p>I can't imagine never having held a job... but I suppose a lot of kids don't have to. I think the military can be a really good idea for some people(my cousin went away the slacker and came back the Man.) I hope your cousin finds himself something worth working for. There has to be something he's vaguely interested in in Life, besides inhaling... right?</p>

9

<p>Devo-</p>

<p>Is it hard for you to stick to things and finish what you start because you get bored with the details of carrying out your ideas?</p>

10

<p>"Besides working full-time at some meaningless entry-level job? I plan to educate myself, using the tons of resources available to me"</p>

<p>Yes, that's what my brilliant college drop-out son is doing: working fulltime at meaningless, temporary jobs -- which is all he seems to be able to get without a college degree.</p>

<p>Believe it or not, that piece of paper counts a lot. Educating yourself may be intellectually fulfilling, but unless you're Bill Gates (who had the backing of coming from a wealthy family), you're unlikely to be able to educate yourself into meaningful work that will support yourself in the style that you'd like to enjoy.</p>

<p>Incidentally, there are plenty of brilliant college drop-outs. You have lots of bright company, and also will on the boring, low paying jobs that you'll end up getting. </p>

<p>I suggest that you also take a close look at the type of housing and lifestyle that you'll be able to afford on the pay for the jobs that you're likely get offered.</p>

11

<p>momsdream *Devo-</p>

<p>Is it hard for you to stick to things and finish what you start because you get bored with the details of carrying out your ideas?*</p>

<p>Not usually.. but I'm also usually compensating for a bit of a short attention span. There are several different parts involved, however.. I often get enthusiastic about an interest, such as Chinese etiquette, and I'll dive into it until my interest is sated. That doesn't mean I'm an expert, by any means, and often I'll come back to a subject regularly over the course of months or years. Then there are habits... such as reading the news and discussing it with people, or reading(any time, all the time, if it has words I'll read it..). And finally there are decisions, which tend to be cogitated on under the surface and then burst out in all their apparent impulsiveness.. <em>laugh</em> But a decision tends to be a pretty sure thing, an emotional and mental determination. Anyway, to answer the question, projects that require constant invention and inspiration wouldn't be good long-term choices for me, but regular work isn't too much of a problem. I wouldn't ever try to, say, write a novel, because it simply wouldn't keep my interest long enough. However, writing essays could be a habit...</p>

12

<p>lucky you aren't in our area- we have brillant college graduates who are working at Starbucks or Amazon- I don't know where the college dropouts are working.</p>

13

<p>Northstarmom *...Yes, that's what my brilliant college drop-out son is doing: working fulltime at meaningless, temporary jobs -- which is all he seems to be able to get without a college degree.</p>

<p>Believe it or not, that piece of paper counts a lot. Educating yourself may be intellectually fulfilling, but unless you're Bill Gates (who had the backing of coming from a wealthy family), you're unlikely to be able to educate yourself into meaningful work that will support yourself in the style that you'd like to enjoy.</p>

<p>Incidentally, there are plenty of brilliant college drop-outs. You have lots of bright company, and also will on the boring, low paying jobs that you'll end up getting.</p>

<p>I suggest that you also take a close look at the type of housing and lifestyle that you'll be able to afford on the pay for the jobs that you're likely get offered.*</p>

<p>I have few illusions about my ability to walk into a human resources office and say, "Hi! I left college, but I've been doing some super Net-surfing, and I'm ready for you to give me a job that will use my creativity in a meaningful and lucrative way!" But, although I'm not making any long-term predictions, for the moment I'm happy doing the time and pleasing myself. Mindless clerical and retail jobs don't support the American dream, but I do appreciate the regular if small paycheck, flexible hours and lack of stress. </p>

<p>I do know that by doing this I'm pretty much declaring myself a loser according to said American dream. I won't have a car or a TV or a bloody newspaper subscription. I won't be doing anything that makes an ounce of difference to the world at large(besides possibly annoying my friends by my hippie-ish TV-less lifestyle). When people ask me what I do, I'll have the enviable choices of "I'm a receptionist" or the silly "I'm a student of life!". But if I'm right, I'll be okay with those choices, and if I'm not, I'll recoup my losses as much as possible... and I expect if I have an awful experience in the demimonde, I'll certainly be a lot happier to deal with the less-than-exhilarating(but also less-than-miserable) life of a college student.</p>

14

<p>emeraldkity4: Based on the adverts all over Richmond, I'm hazarding UPS. </p>

<p>Thank God I have a secure job transferring phone calls and sounding cheery. I am blessed indeed.</p>

15

<p>". Mindless clerical and retail jobs don't support the American dream, but I do appreciate the regular if small paycheck, flexible hours and lack of stress. "</p>

<p>Fine, but where do you plan to live? Are you planning to live with relatives? If so, are you planning to pay the kind of rent for your living quarters that you'd pay on the economy?</p>

<p>If you are planning to live with relatives, how do they feel about your returning? Many parents may be very loving of their kids, but once the kids have gone off to college, the parents also enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever they want in their own home.</p>

16

<p>I understand what you are saying.</p>

<p>I'm not sure if this will help or not, but I've found throughout my career (relatively short as it has been) that there are two different types of people: those who are satisfied with their job being a means to an end and those who need to be satisfied by their career. It sounds like you are the former--and there is nothing wrong with that.</p>

<p>Here's an example: Right now I'm working as an accountant making a comfortable living--high school dropout taking night classes at the local community college. I realized a few years ago that I need a career that is satisfying to my love of research and learning and I've always loved genetics, so I am working hard so I can transfer in a couple of years and work towards that goal. I will need the schooling to satisfy that goal.</p>

<p>In the office next to mine is a woman who has been working for this company for 15-16 years as the "shipping department". Certainly not a glamourous job and not something that she is passionate about. Her passions lie more with her family and this job gives her income to help provide for her kids and flexibility to spend time with them. On top of that, it is something easy that doesn't require much education.</p>

<p>I would like to tell you that if you decide that you are the person who simply needs a job as a means to an end; you still need to think about what you want to do, what you can do, and how you are going to make it work. My boyfriend is one of those whose passions are found in his hobbies, but he still works very hard to make sure that he can afford those hobbies (and the rest of the bills as well).</p>

<p>You don't have to go to college, it is really up to you.</p>

17

<p>devotilla, I'm assuming you are under 30. Sounds like you are making the right move. Have confidence and move on. If you have thought it out, don't let your parents or the cc crowd get you down. If you could save some money, maybe you should try a year or two of travelling. If you like Asian studies, how about the All Asia Pass from Cathay Pacific. Google it. I forget the details, but it is unlimited air travel in Asia for up to a year I believe for only a $1500 or so. Travel can be quite stimulating. You should be able to support yourself by teaching English. What an adventure. I wish I had done it.</p>

<p>Nothing is forever, not even dropping out. If you find eventually that you are stuck in deadend jobs you don't enjoy you can always go back. Keep up your spirits and it will all work out.</p>

18

<p>Lack of a college degree can certainly impact your future earnings but does not necessarily relegate you to a life of temp jobs or starbucks shifts. </p>

<p>Motivated people who work hard are just as able to find success without a degree as with. My years after high school were filled with world travel and countless experiences I would not have had living in a dorm. </p>

<p>The maturity and experience I gained from supporting myself (in the SF Bay area no less) gave me the upper leg in job interviews and my increased work expereince has enabled me to foster a rewarding and profitable career.</p>

<p>When my lack of degree started to become an issue (eight years later) my company suggested I return to school and is paying all my education expenses.</p>

<p>My point: If you aren't happy being in college, get out. Find out what makes you tick and then see where it takes you. If you do end up in a series of dead end jobs, college will always be there for you.</p>

19

<p>Devo - you will be fine if you are a go-getter. After all on the Apprentice, didn't the apprentices without the degree make more $$ than the ones with the degrees? College isn't necessary for everyone. For my son, yes, but not for everyone.</p>

20

<p>Devotedilla - how about giving it 2-3 years of working, then think about going back to college? Or even use the credits you've already earned and get some more at night school while working?
One of my biggest regrets was sticking with a program I wasn't enjoying for about 3 semesters more than I should have. Because of that, when I go back to college in September, I'll be in my senior year, but I'll have sophomore standing because of a change of major. I'll graduate in 6 years instead of 4. And about 9000 euro more indebted than I would have been otherwise. So follow your heart and see where it leads you, and at the end of the day college will always be there, the question is whether you'll be there for it.
Good luck with whatever you end up doing. :)</p>