How would you feel if your child wanted to be a lawyer?

Parents Forum
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<p>Parents,</p>

<p>How would you feel if your child wanted to be a lawyer? I am a college student considering law school, but lawyers aren't viewed very positively in my family. And when I tell most people that I might want to be an attorney, I am usually met with the same response: "Why?" </p>

<p>I have always been interested in all aspects of the law. I would like to maybe clerk for a judge for a few years and then go into corporate law. I'm fascinated by how business and law intermingle. I would love to work with businesses that are looking to expand.</p>

<p>However, most people only see lawyers as ambulance chasers looking for the next big settlement (my dad is a surgeon, so these are the types my family is most familiar with.) Does everyone feel this way? Do the majority of Americans think that lawyers are only around to hinder capitalism and liberty? These are the two greatest things I love about this country, I don't want to be seen as someone who is only out to make millions, regardless of who's life I destroy.</p>

<p>My parents say that if I'm happy, they're happy. They would support me as a lawyer. But I don't want to get a negative reaction everytime I tell someone I am/want to be a lawyer. </p>

<p>And I don't even want to get into how miserable lawyers are. I've heard the stats: 75% of lawyers would choose a different career, lawyers have the highest suicide rate of any profession, etc. I don't want this to be me. Like I said, I'm interested in the law, but apparently that isn't enough to be happy in this career.</p>

<p>Does anyone out there have any direct experience with legal careers? How much of what I have said is true? Would you want your child to become a lawyer? What makes lawyers so miserable?</p>

<p>Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would really appreciate any input.</p>

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<p>I believe there was a thread here not long ago asking for the same kind of advice. Many of the resident lawyers here chimed in. Very interesting. You may want to look it up. My impression was that you can take a law degree in many directions in order to tailor a satisfying career for yourself.</p>

<p>My son wants to be a lawyer (though he is only a rising hs senior now). We haven't had any in our immediate family so far, but I'm all for it. He is all for liberty and capitalism, btw. He is not out to make millions, but wouldn't mind making a little cash while he makes the world a better place. :)</p>

<p>I thought dentists had the highest suicide rate!</p>

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<p>Thanks, ilsa belter. I searches to see if there were any similar forums, but I couldn't find any.</p>

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<p>I'm a lawyer, my kids' dad is a lawyer, and any time they have said that they are considering law school..... we've both said "why?"</p>

<p>It's a good question. </p>

<p>Law is a very high-stress occupation and it is also a huge commitment of time and money to go to law school. No one should go to law school without giving thought to their reasons, and no one should go for the wrong reasons.</p>

<p>In the case of my kids, both have said that they do not want to practice law but feel a law degree would help further their goals in political or administrative positions. I think they are right but that their career goals do not justify the expense of the training.</p>

<p>I don't practice law any more. For about 80% of the time in my life, I have worked doing things that I would want to do even if I weren't being paid. In fact, the thing that led me to leave my law practice was that I found myself doing some other things in my spare time and musing to myself, "wouldn't it be nice if I could get paid to do this instead of practicing law?" As soon as I asked that question, I knew it was time to change careers. </p>

<p>Figure out what you want to do with your life. If the only way to do that is to get a law degree, then by all means pursue that career. But if you aren't sure of what you want to do or whether you would like being a lawyer... then wait.</p>

<p>Many, perhaps most, of my law school classmates had spent some time doing something else after college before coming to law school. I think they arrived more mature, more confident, and more sure of what they wanted out of life and out of their legal education. So I'd encourage any young person to do the same. </p>

<p>The really cool thing about law school is that it doesn't matter what your undergraduate major is, so you are free to pursue whatever interests you the most as an undergrad. In your senior year of college, take the LSAT for kicks -- it doesn't hurt to take a test, and that will help you with planning and keep some options open. But don't go to law school unless you are absolutely, positively sure that you want a career in law.</p>

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<p>A law degree can give you myriad options, many of which don't involve an active practice or litigation.</p>

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<p>It's certainly safe to say that the legal profession isn't exactly the most admired or viewed particularly favorably by the general public, but there are certainly rewarding and interesting things you can do with a law degree... not all of which have to include practicing law. If you have a good plan for what you want to do then I'd say go for it.</p>

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<p>Only, if he is on the "Right Side." :)</p>

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<p>Second the motion to look up the old thread, using lawyer for searchword, I guess.</p>

<p>My family has many lawyers, starting with my dad and uncle whose parents were immigrants. Perhaps it takes the first one to blaze a new trail within a family's expectations. They did private practice as well as staff work for organizations. Lawyers do many kinds of jobs, but the common idea is "ambulance chasers" which is really just silly and not representative of what most lawyers do.</p>

<p>Lawyer jokes are very common and I think you just get used to them if you have self-respect and interest in your work in law. THere are some professions that have public perception baggage, but you shouldn't let that deter you unless you hang on everyone else's opinion.</p>

<p>Most lawyers that I know seem to just take the lawyer jokes as "goes with the territory" and proceed with their work in a dignified, professional way. </p>

<p>Doctors resent the time intrusion from lawsuits and depositions related to insurance/accident/disability administrative hearings. Those legal matters take them away from their own practice of medicine (and earnings therefrom) so there's a built-in problem there. On the other hand, if a doctor is accused of anything, he runs to a lawyer just like anyone else.</p>

<p>To answer your question from the OP: I'd cheer. I think it's an excellent, interesting, important career with much variety and eventual excellent pay depending on which path you choose. You get to choose.</p>

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<p>Jimmy, mine does want to be a lawyer, in a specialized area; however, I will fully support ANY career she chooses - she's not my "do over"...</p>

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<p>Jimmy, you would not be the only lawyer who loves capitalism and freedom. Check out the Federalist Society for more information.</p>

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<p>I'm a lawyer and one of my kids just took the LSAT this week...planning on applying in the Fall. I was surprised, since -- like medicine -- this can be a tough career with huge amounts of stress. My kids have seen me work 6-7 days a week, 12 hour days. I told them that we got 500+ resumes for a single associate's job three years ago, including resumes from lawyers who had many years more experience than we were looking for (we wanted to hire an associate with 1-3 years experience, and received some resumes from lawyers with 20+ years of experience). After I was sure that my kid wasn't looking at law just because of TV shows that made legal work look more interesting and dramatic than it usually is, I accepted the inevitable. Sometimes law is just in your blood, just like teaching, nursing, engineering, medicine or other careers.</p>

<p>There are many uses for a law degree, and your interests can change as you go along. Would your parents object to tax law, probate/estate law, elder law, patent law, corporate law, etc.? Perhaps they think your focus will be on personal injury or malpractice law only. You have time to explain to them the positive aspects and numerous options offered by a legal career before you take the LSAT and start the process.</p>

<p>And if they ultimately don't support you in your decision, you might need to be prepared to do it on your own. I did. My parents were abolutely against me becoming a lawyer too (they had a different career choice for me), and I did the entire process on my own from registering to the LSAT, applying, getting financial aid, and finding a living situation that wasn't great... They showed up at graduation and bragged about their kid the lawyer the rest of their lives... no comment on that. I think this is an extreme example, and most parents will come around if you can articulate the reasons why this career is your choice.</p>

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<p>here is a link to a thread in the law school forum that in turn includes links to two prior threads that you should find of interest -- <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/law-school/524285-you-happy-law.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/law-school/524285-you-happy-law.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>in general, you should start reading threads in the law school forum if you have not started doing so already --- <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/law-school/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/law-school/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>basic things you have to realize --
1) law school is VERY expensive -- the type of financial aid available for college simply isn't available for law school -- so unless your family is ready willing and able to help out, you can graduate with an enormous amount of debt.
2) clerking for a judge is generally considered a fairly prestigious post law school job (at least with respect to federal court judges, clerkships in state court vary depending on the state and level of court) and are not easy to get.
3) the large salaries one often hears about are not representative of what the average lawyer earns -- things vary enormously based on type of firm.
4) life at a corporate law firm is extremely demanding -- generally you have to graduate from a top school or graduate top of your class at a lower tier school to get the job at the top firms. the hours are long -- longer than you can probably imagine. and stressful.<br>
5) your father's opinion of lawyers is pretty much the universal opinion of most doctors -- mention you are a lawyer in front of a group of doctors and you can see a visible shudder.
6) the single most important thing i think prospective lawyers need to know but often don't realize -- your job as a lawyer is to represent the interests of your client. law is a service industry -- you are there to serve your client (whether corporation, individual, gov't agency, not for profit org) within the bounds of the law -- not your own intellectual curiosity, not your own moral standards, not some theoretical idea of what "should be" -- and clients are not always rational; they do not always like being told they can't do what they want; they do not always care what weekend plans you had when they want an answer by monday am. this doesn't have to be a negative -- many lawyers are invigorated by the idea of championing their clients interests -- you just need to understand that this is what you will be doing. i've seen too many prospective law students who focus on the intellectual challenge without understanding that role the client will play in their lives.</p>

<p>you are wise to be considering all of this now. try to learn as much as you can about what it is like to be a lawyer. talk to any lawyers you know who do what you think you want to do and listen carefully - not just to see if they are happy, but why and what they are actually doing.</p>

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<p>Unbelievablem's post raises a really vital point. Many people become lawyers thinking that it's a good way to pursue a particular agenda or idealism when, in fact, a commitment to the law and professional ethics is paramount. If you ever wonder how any lawyer could represent a child molester or the KKK's freedom of speech, those lawyers aren't sleezy but are fulfilling their professional obligations. One of the things you learn in law school is how to do your absolute best for any client, even clients who you may not personally like or respect -- the client relationship is paramamount, and ending a client relationship is not easily done. It is a rare lawyer who never faces the issue of arguing a position that the lawyer personally does not support.</p>

<p>Just like any profession, there are bad lawyers. (IMO people who bring up being a lawyer or having a lawyer in the family, and who use threats of legal action as a bludgeon to get their own way every time they have a dispute, give lawyers a bad name.) If there are enough good lawyers, we should be able to balance the negative impressions left by the bad lawyers. With pro bono work, community service, professionalism and excellent service to our clients, the good lawyers should be able to restore the profession to the high standard that it deserves. </p>

<p>If you decide to pursue a legal career, don't worry about how society views lawyers. Worry about being the best lawyer you can be, and you will have no regrets. </p>

<p>Be a good lawyer.</p>

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<p>I have been working in recruiting in law firms for decades. The single biggest piece of advice I would give is to assess your debt load from undergrad, determine what tier of school you could get into and where you would expect to graduate. If you have a lot of debt, you need to get into a top tier school and graduate with a high rank otherwise you will drown in debt. If you have little/no undegrad debt, then do what makes you happy.</p>

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<p>Dentists have the highest suicide rate in the medical professions...'</p>

<p>As for my child being a lawyer - why not? Its not for the parents to chose.</p>

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<p>WildChild is strongly considering law school and I support it. I think he could find a use for the degree that would suit him. Not sure what it will be yet, but there are lots of paths besides "big law". I have spent 30 years working in-house for corporations, and I think I have had a good career, with my best job being the one I have right now. I am in an interesting industry and my company has a great, ethical management team. It's all good.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the responses, everyone! They've truly been helpful.</p>

<p>Just to respond to some of the posts:
1. I do understand that the legal field is much different from the way it is portrayed on TV. I have heard that one reason why lawyers are so miserable is because many of them go into law thinking that their lives will be like Perry Mason or Law and Order. I don't think I'll have that problem.
2. Money/debt is not much of an issue for me.
3. There is still one question I have that hasn't yet been answered: Why do lawyers have such bad repuations and why do so many seem so miserable. I've heard the typical answers: long hours, lots of paperwork, dealing with bad personalites, etc. But alot of jobs are like this. Why are lawyers specifically singled out?</p>

<p>Thanks again.</p>

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<p>1) why are lawyers unpopular? we live in a litigious society -- people are quick to threaten or pursue litigation to advance their claims -- the mere process of litigation is distasteful -- even if you end up winning, the cost, both monetary and emotional, is high. so a lot is done to try to avoid litigation -- the fine print warnings, the disclaimers, the hesitancy to commit to something -- it leads to frustration, and people blame the lawyers. rather than being seen as a tool that allows the "system" to function, lawyers end up getting blamed for being the cause making the system cumbersome.</p>

<p>2) why are lawyers unhappy? long hours and stress is part of it. but i also think part of it is the personality types that get attracted to law -- people who are smart and debate are told they'll be good lawyers. in law school you are taught to pick things apart in small detail and to argue all sides of an issue. it fosters an approach that is constantly questioning and challenging what is presented. sounds intellectually interesting? can be. but imagine working with a whole firm of people who approach everything like that? any supposedly simple conclusion you make being challenged and argued about -- not because they think you're wrong, just because that's how lawyers approach things. it can be very wearing to have to deal with other lawyers. for the most part they got where they were, being successful in college, law school, and then in legal practice, by being fairly assertive and strong willed. and working really hard -- they expect that of those they work with. it can create a very stressful work environment, in addition to the inherent stress from the nature of the work itself. its much than simply long hours -- they are enormously pressure filled hours -- pressure from the client demands and pressure from the personalities of the other attorneys you deal with.</p>

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<p>You are getting a lot of good advice, especially from those who chose a legal career. My only comment, and it is one that I would make about many professions, is that if it is a field that really, truly interests you, then you should pursue it. However, if what really interest you is the high salary, fancy office, BMW/Mercedes/Porsche, 5,000 sq. ft. home, courtroom intrigue as seen on TV, etc., etc., etc. then you will be one of the miserable ones. </p>

<p>Ok, I do have a second comment - do everything you can to incur as little debt as possible. A large debt to pay off will severely limit your choices, possibly keeping you from practicing law or using your law degree in a way that is rewarding and satisfying to you. You will find it necessary to forego something you might really want to do in favor of something that pays better just so you can get out from under the debt.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>
[quote]
However, most people only see lawyers as ambulance chasers looking for the next big settlement

[/quote]
</p>

<p>If this were truly people's views, what difference would it make?</p>