My dream is to bring in my private decorator to design a luxury dorm room on your campus all based on a pineapple theme with my roommate taking up as little space as possible.
OOps, typo above (distracted by trick or treaters). I live on an island surrounded by big water.
I don’t remember what my first line was, but I will always remember being about halfway through an application and saying to myself, “Self, this application is not going to get me into this school” so I bagged it.
Since your college has previously accepted all these pompous a*holes, you should be delighted to accept me.
My biggest challenge in life so far has been describing my nuanced personality and complex life experiences withing the confines of a 650-word essay.
Sit down–this is gonna rock your world!
It really wasn’t my fault or a big deal – no one actually got hurt, just some snowflakes who can’t take a joke – and the district attorney and judge were totally out to get me.
One time, in AP Chem, I got a B+ on an test. Through this, I learned to overcome adversity.
To most people tube socks are designed exclusively to provide toe warmth, read on to discover the 18 other amazing and enlightened uses I have innovated that will change the world and blow your mind.
@gardenstategal , I LOVE that! lol!
“It was a dark and stormy night…”
Actually, I would probably keep reading. 
OK
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.
Let’s not forget the rejected first drafts:
• It was a sort of dark and kind of stormy night.
• Some nights were dark. Some nights were stormy.
• Unbeknownst to everyone, it was a dark and stormy night.
• If I remember correctly, it was a dark and stormy night.
• It was one of those dark nights when you weren’t sure if it was going to be stormy or not.
@skieurope , do some editing. You used “suddenly” twice in your opening paragraph! Reject.
I do like the rejected first drafts though. Revise, and I’ll put you in the waitlisted pile.
After interning with Ed Blum I knew i wanted a career in law.
I used to think being a Furry was weird but then I went to my first Furry convention and discovered that being a PurpleZebraUnicorn really allows me to express my true inner self.
just kidding
Barkeep, I have another Dark and Stormy!
Love it, ski
“I went on that mission trip expecting to change the lives of the really poor people, but it was me who was changed instead.”
Some people think it’s not the best idea to text and drive, but I’m living proof that it’s great!
“What’s a nice college like you doing in a place like New Haven?”
@gardenstategal In fact, in one of my son’s rejected essay versions, he had a phrase “I didn’t feel so desperate even when I received a C on my AP Chemistry test”. It was supposed to sound ironic but I told him readers may take it at face value.