<p>I know that the first sentence of the essay is the most important because it has the ability to grab the reader's attention, but I have no idea if mine is any good or even decent!!</p>
<p>"Life is a series of seemingly minute details that converge to form an aggregate whole; one small decision has the ability to change the course of an entire life; a circumstance, inconsequential at the time, retains the ability to alter some aspect of ones everyday existence."</p>
<p>my first sentence was about "being a vegetable (literally)" and my essay was about lettuce :P</p>
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<p>i dont know whether other people will agree with me, but i think your first sentence is more like a SAT essay.
also, according to my english teacher, talking about "life" in first place is somewhat cliche.</p>
<p>i would begin with something really abnormal, which can catch readers eyes immediately</p>
<p>and don’t afraid to be "unusual" in application essay: admissions officers usually look for unique students</p>
<p>Personally, I think the shorter and sweeter and more unusual the first sentence is, the better. A few words are more likely to stick with me and make an impression than a huge complicated sentence.</p>
<p>hmm...well i'm using my common app essay to describe some extenuating circumstances that I encountered, and how I've been able to transcend the conditions of my environment to excel at certain things. I'm not sure how to introduce an essay like this in an interesting manner.</p>
<p>Hmm... well honestly, I wouldn't open with a lecture about life. The adcoms are alot older and are currently more educated, so I don't think they'd favor it. Grades and SATs will show you're an intellectual, the essay is a chance for personality, no matter what topic you choose.</p>
<p>Started mine with a corny joke from my old teacher, but the essay was very serious as a whole.</p>
<p>Or I also have this as an opener for a possible essay..should I just try to morph the two essays into one?</p>
<p>“Does this bus also drop students off at the charter school?” I vehemently asked the bus driver. I would loathe to hear an answer in opposition to my wishes; I was not about to be late to my first day at what was, essentially, a new school.</p>
<p>for what it's worth, my first sentence was 4 words long and it wasn't actually a sentence. ;)</p>
<p>i think it's telling that you have two semicolons in there; the second one would do better to be replaced by a period... giving you two sentences. don't try so hard. if you have a compelling story it will tell itself, and if you are truly a brilliant prose stylist, that will also come through. better raw and genuine than gimmicky and overwrought.</p>
<p>A 46-word sentence??? And you want adcoms to like you?</p>
<p>Beyond that, it's rather trite. 'Life is like a box of chocolates.....' is much better.</p>
<p>"I would loathe to hear an answer in opposition to my wishes..." Do you really speak that way (pretentiously)? If not, write like a 17-year old, not the late William F. Buckley.</p>
<p>I actually do speak that way quite often...And I can't seem to get myself to extract myself from that train of thought and write in a different manner. It feels like I'm trying to "dumb down" or not be myself to write any differently...</p>
<p>I dont have any suggestions other than try your best to be yourself without sounding too much like a person trying to show off his/her intelligence. Write what you feel and keep re-editing. It doesn't always come out the way you want it on your first try.</p>