Hello, I am pretty far along my career at my university. I was not happy here from the start, of course, i was able to have occasional good times and i do have a few friends. but, my days feel worthless and now knowing what i expect from a school it is quite evident to me that i just picked the wrong school for myself. it is a great school just not my school. but, transferring is not practical in my situation. I also have a history of depression so I am worried it is more of a personal problem than it is a problem with my school. It is a huge risk that I am not motivated to take especially so far along on my career.
I often hear to get involved in clubs, to wait it out because it gets better. But, i am over two years into my career, and i have been part of a good amount of clubs. Grades arent an issue either. I feel like i am trying very hard to be alright here and I am just not getting anything out of my experience here. do i need to be challenged more? I feel like i am going through every day miserably and a lot of it is owed to my preferences of weather, student body, learning style, etc. Anyways, I would love to be able to stay here and enjoy my time here but i feel like i will just continue to drag through my days.
I am not sure how well i explained this, but i am sure i am not alone in some respects. Any advise?
Agreeing with @happy1 about seeking out counseling. If you don’t find the help you need at the student counseling center, investigate whether your insurance covers therapy sessions using a provider in the city where you attend school.
A good therapist will help a LOT. You’ll learn things about yourself, and gain some tools for coping when life doesn’t go smoothly or you need to tolerate situations you’d prefer were different. I’m in my 50s, and I’ve sought out different therapists along the way when I’ve hit turbulent waters & found myself struggling emotionally. I’ve never ever regretted the decision. It has always, always helped. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
And yes, I agree you are not alone, feeling the way you do. It’s very common to feel dissatisfied or to imagine that things would be “better” if only XYZ. We rarely fantasize about things being WORSE, y’know?
Please update us with your next steps, and good luck.
I agree with the counseling recommendation. I disagree that you aren’t getting “anything” out of the situation. You are far along in your college career and it sounds like you are doing well academically. Therefore, you are getting to the primary thing that you went to college for in the first place, an education and an almost finished degree. A counselor may be able to help you reframe your thinking toward the positive changeable things in your life and help you to stop fantasizing about what you think you are missing in your experience. The movie or college brochure or Facebook/Instagram version of college life (or life in general) isn’t reality.
@publisher and @happy1 - I am connected with my schools services and they are helpful, I have further counseling I receive as well and while I do not have seasonal depression, I did need a change of environment from when i was in high school. however, i seemed to have picked the wrong environment (as my therapist and i depicted). The problem lies where if transferring isnt practical then in what ways can i change my environment to become a place i like to be in (if that makes sense?) it seems to be a hard thing to do.
@Midwest67 - I REALLY like the point you made about how we dont fantasize about things being worse as much as we do better. I like to think I appreciate the good but that is a really good point.
@NorthernMom61 - that is a good point- i am getting a lot out of being here. I just feel like i am missing any feeling of reward through my accomplishments. I think i am expecting to get more out of the amount of work i put in. but not grade wise- more personally wise.
@bopper - i picked a big school thinking that was what I want - but i really like the more focused classes with less students per class. I also do not like the location - not much to do around here so it is a very party-based school and that is not much of my style. i still have been able to make friends, I just don’t think that it is my type of overall student body. It has a ton of incredible opportunities and is a good school, i just learned more and more overtime that it is not the school for me
i really appreciate all the feedback… a lot of good points throughout. It is just frustrating and i feel like it should come easier
Glad you are in counseling and that it is helping you. Things don’t always come easy and not every experience in life turns out to be what we hope. IMO if you can leave college with your degree, a few good friends, and personal growth then you should consider your college career to be an overall positive (even if not perfect) experience. Be sure to use the things you have learned about yourself while at college – including attributes that you like/dislike being around - when you make choices regarding the next stage of your life.
Many schools have a ton of kids in the intro classes freshman year…as you go on, your classes will get smaller. If you want to get to know your professors better, go to their office hours.
You are there from two years and now you are habitual to clubs, you should try to stop this and focus more on academics. Yes, you can go for counseling as it is a good option or you can practice a different activity which will be helpful for you such as in sports and this will also help to remove the habit of going to clubs. It seems like you are enjoying over there, but you are quite nervous about your career.
It takes many years, sometimes most of a lifetime build a career and that sense of accomplishment from your efforts. You have to keep on keeping on. It’s not discrete, it’s a process. College is the very very beginning of adult life. Someday you’ll learn that four years is an eyeblink.
It’s not the university. If you transferred you’re depression would only follow you and it would likely get worse. If I were you, I would make an appointment with a psychiatrist and see a therapist on a regular basis. It can make a world of difference in a very short time. No matter where you go, college is going to be stressful and hard. Days are going to drag on, because that’s just the way college is. You can do this!