I am socially crippled. Am I better off dropping out of college?

College Life
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<p>pmvd, you might be surprised to discover that community colleges can be very challenging. Community college classes tend to be taught by people who have retired from their chosen field. They are very enthusiastic about the subjects that they teach and about teaching in general. A lot of 4-year-college classes are taught by professors who have never existed outside of the academic world at all. And some are taught by TAs and grad students who don’t even know what they are talking about.</p>

<p>If you don’t want to go to a community college you could still transfer. A small school that is more academically focused would probably be a good fit. Some place like WPI, Rensslaer, Cal Poly, etc.</p>

<p>Out of curiosity, are there very many people you knew in high school at your current school? If so then it would definitely benefit you to get away from them. Old “friends” will never let you move forward.</p>

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<p>Comp sci is your frayyynd</p>

<p>and LOL at the people who said to “talk to ppl on the internet”</p>

<p>What the **** is he doing right now?</p>

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<p>hey man don’t drop out, if you really think its that bad, try transferring to a different school where you can basically “re-create yourself”.</p>

<p>I’m sorry you are having a tough time, but to be honest, the people around you are to blame…so don’t worry and be yourself…(or be a little bit different…just to meet people…)</p>

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<p>Yeah, I’m at a community college. 3 out of my 4 professors are PhDs and the classes are hard, but it’s worth it for priority/guaranteed admission to the UCs.</p>

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<p>PoshGirl is right, don’t assume that CC colleges will be dumbed down. Also, there tend to be a lot of nontraditional students who have been around the block. They may have forgotten some of their high school lore, but they usually have had interesting real life experiences. (One lady in my English 102 class was part of a “women can’t do anything except pump out babies” evangelical cult before she just packed a suitcase and caught a bus out one night. I peer-edited her essay on her great escape and so what if I had to make notes about correct comma placement, it was still amazing.) My science classes are taught by people who were in the industry for years and have great connections . . . In fact, government agencies (Bureau of Land Managemenet, etc) come right on campus to interview hire students for various jobs because they know the CC’s program is hands-on and practical.</p>

<p>I don’t think quitting school completely and getting a job is going to help you. I used to be that shy, loner person thinking no one liked me. I DID drop out of college and I got a job. Well, great, then I was shy at a job I hated and I still didn’t know how to connect with my coworkers. And it was even worse than college because I had to work with these people eight hours a day five days a week. Eventually I kind of . . . figured things out. I wish I could offer you some magic bullet, but what did it for me was just time, observation, and learning to give others a chance and to assume that they were going to give me a chance. I still have awkward moments on occasion, but now I can joke and laugh with my classmates and not feel stressed out all the time.</p>

<p>What I would recommend is therapy, and I don’t mean that in a mean or sarcastic way. I think it would really help. I wish I had tried it, but my job paid so little I couldn’t really afford it. It sounds like you have low self-esteem.</p>

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<p>There’s a time for everything</p>

<p>and it’s called college!</p>

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<p>hi,
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<p>One of the reasons I’m self employed is because of my social incompetency and the fact that I screw up on interviews. You should work for yourself. That way you don’t have to deal with people that dislike you and you get to make your own income. I’m making more money then anyone my age and most college graduates.</p>

<p>Maybe you need to reevaluate the reason for enrolling in college. If you’re strong academically but falling under pressure of social norms then maybe it is a good idea to step back and take it in the real world. I took two years off of college and found myself able to succeed simply because I gained some interesting life experiences that made me really apperciate my education. Social distress shouldn’t distract you from achieving your goals. I’m harassed by some of my customers but **** it, I’m not about to let someone’s rude comments get in my way of business.</p>

<p>It’s perfectly okay to be shy and reserve! I’m quite shy myself and wait for others to approach me before I start up a conversation. I have a few good friends that I’m happy with. You don’t need to have everyone approve of you to be content in your life, college and in the real world.</p>

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<p>I think you should try and see a counselor first and discuss how you feel. While it is normal to be shy, since you are feeling bad about it, a counselor could help you deal with those feelings. Hating yourself won’t help you.</p>

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<p>Saaammie is absolutely right, talk to a counselor.</p>

<p>Also, pick up a copy of “Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s” by John Elder Robison. It’s a quick read, and you’ll enjoy reading about someone who had severe social difficulties and still managed to make a success of his life. Plus - his life has been awesom. Among other things, he toured with Kiss as the sound/special effects engineer.</p>

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<p>It can be hard to fit in socially at college - I think even the kids with excellent social skills find it challenging. Try and work on your social skills by doing a little research. There are many great books and web articles about ways to up your social abilities. Do a search on amazon and you will see many books geared to this issue…why? because so many people have issues with it! Find books that sound like they could be helpful and order some. Social skills can be learned and with some sound advice your confidence level will come up. There is no reason to give up and drop out. Since you are good academically you have the smarts to put this into action. Confront your problems instead of running away. Take small steps at using the new knowledge you learn. Some of the shyest people find ways of conquering their social fears. Don’t let what has happened in the past stop you from moving forward. You can do this.</p>

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<p>Just wanted to ad - look for others more like yourself. They are around. Take the initiative to seek out those who hang back and look uncomfortable in social situations. Go up and say hi. They are feeling just like you and looking for friendship too. If you see another kid in the dining hall sitting alone go join him. Look for those by themselves and introduce yourself in class, the library. A smile goes a long way. It may seem like everyone else is a social butterfly but those are just the more noticable ones. Make an effort to help out another kid who is having a hard time too.</p>

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<p>^If he does that, he’ll never have friends. They’ll all be paranoid of one another lol.</p>

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<p>"What I would recommend is therapy, and I don’t mean that in a mean or sarcastic way. I think it would really help. I wish I had tried it, but my job paid so little I couldn’t really afford it. It sounds like you have low self-esteem. "</p>

<p>“Naturally”, I had a psychological evaluation not too long ago. It was a complete waste of my time. The psychologist didn’t seem to like me very much and treated me condescendingly. I was surprised by her behavior, since I imagined that the psychologist, being a psychologist, would be understanding of my condition. Needless to say, the evaluation didn’t go well. The psychologist only asked me questions related to depression. When I gave her an answer consistent with those depressed people usually give, she quickly moved on to the next question. When I gave her an answer that wasn’t consistent with depression (do you drink or smoke? “no”, do you have trouble sleeping? “no”, do you have suicidal thoughts? “no”), she stopped cold and there was an uncomfortable moment of silence. I almost felt like a liar. At the end of the “evaluation” the psychologist said that I was depressed, and never gave me an opportunity to delve into the issues I discussed in this thread. My meeting with that psychologist didn’t go well and to this day I still believe I would have been better off if I had never asked for help.</p>

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<p>What did you expect for your first visit? Of course the first experience is going to consist of short questions and answers (they’re is a standard checklist of questions). If you had gone back and followed through with consistent schedules visits, you would have had the opportunity to delve into your other issues. Did you think that you would be “cured” after one initial evaluation?</p>

<p>Again, you mention that you were treated in a condescending manner. This seems to be your favorite word to describe everyone. Everyone treats you condescendingly based on your perspective. Everyone is less intelligent than you. You describe every contact you have with people the same way. </p>

<p>Maybe you should take a one year leave of absence from college and focus on dealing with your issues. Unfortunately, you won’t do this because based on your thought process, every psychologist will treat you in a condescending manner and you think it’s a waste of time. </p>

<p>Get some real help. You may have a combination of issues. Only a mental health professional can diagnose. Try a psychiatrist next time.
[Narcissistic</a> personality disorder: Symptoms - MayoClinic.com](<a href=“Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic”>Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic)
for the heck of it, read the list of symptoms on the above link. Can you relate to many of them on the list?</p>

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<p>Would maybe a bigger school be better, more opportunities for friends, more clubs, etc…?</p>

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<p>Transferring from one school to another is a great idea for kids who aren’t comfortable at their current college environment. For this OP however, transferring will not work. The emotional issues/lack of social skills will remain whether this student stays at the current campus or transfers to a new campus.</p>

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<p>“What did you expect for your first visit?”</p>

<p>At the very least an acknowledgement of my interpersonal problems. The psychologist made it sound like once the depression was taken care of I’d be normal.</p>

<p>“Of course the first experience is going to consist of short questions and answers (they’re is a standard checklist of questions). If you had gone back and followed through with consistent schedules visits, you would have had the opportunity to delve into your other issues. Did you think that you would be “cured” after one initial evaluation?”</p>

<p>I thought I was going to be assessed properly. I wasn’t given a test or anything. Just standard questions.</p>

<p>“Again, you mention that you were treated in a condescending manner.”</p>

<p>Perhaps the psychologist saw my social skills and concluded I was stupid? Perhaps she arrived at such conclusion subconsciously, and wasn’t necessarily trying to put me down.</p>

<p>" This seems to be your favorite word to describe everyone. Everyone treats you condescendingly based on your perspective." </p>

<p>Not everyone, but a lot of people do. Once they get to know me, things usually don’t go well. I usually do ok when I meet people briefly.</p>

<p>"Everyone is less intelligent than you. You describe every contact you have with people the same way. "</p>

<p>I think I acknowledged in another thread that I don’t have a genius IQ, so obviously I don’t think everyone is less intelligent than me.</p>

<p>“Get some real help. You may have a combination of issues. Only a mental health professional can diagnose. Try a psychiatrist next time.”</p>

<p>Psychiatrists throw medications at patients like they were candy.</p>

<p>"Narcissistic personality disorder: Symptoms - MayoClinic.com
for the heck of it, read the list of symptoms on the above link. Can you relate to many of them on the list? "</p>

<p>I don’t qualify.</p>

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<p>You’re either clueless or a ■■■■■. I hope others on CC let this thread die. To the CC community—don’t waste your time on this thread. And once this thread slows down, pvd will start another one with a similar theme. Maybe: Why does everyone treat me in a condescending manner? or Why does everyone ignore me? or Why does everyone think I’m unintelligent? or How can I make myself seem like the class genius? or Why am I so much smarter than everyone else yet no one likes me? or Everyone is out to get me–why?</p>

<p>CCers–don’t waste your time. Let this thread come to an end. More help is needed than what any person on CC can offer. </p>

<p>bye</p>

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<p>" Why does everyone treat me in a condescending manner?" </p>

<p>I never said everyone treats me condescendingly.</p>

<p>"or Why does everyone ignore me? "</p>

<p>I never said that.</p>

<p>"or Why does everyone think I’m unintelligent? "</p>

<p>I never said everyone thinks I am unintelligent.</p>

<p>“or How can I make myself seem like the class genius?”</p>

<p>I have no need to fool people into thinking I am something I am not.</p>

<p>" or Why am I so much smarter than everyone else yet no one likes me?"</p>

<p>I never said I am smarter than everyone else. I actually acknowledged that I am not a genius.</p>

<p>" or Everyone is out to get me–why?"</p>

<p>I never said that everyone is out to get me.</p>

<p>nysmile, you have a very sarcastic attitude. I bet I am not the only one here who doesn’t have a lot of friends.</p>