I can't believe it's come to this.... girl advice on CC.

<p>I know, I know.....CC is one of the worst places to ask for any kind of advice that has to do with the opposite gender. But, there are a lot of smart people on here, so I'll ask anyway haha. </p>

<p>Here's the story.... over the past year, and especially over the past few months, I've become really good friends with this girl. And we've both kind of had a crush on each other for a while now, but in the past week with prom and all that, it's developed into much more. We both really like each other, and we're both on the same page as far as dating goes. Sounds like an easy situation to deal with, right? </p>

<p>Wrong. </p>

<p>My family is moving to Colorado in June, and I'm going to UMinn in the fall. The problem is, we live in Florida right now, and she's going to college here in town. So I'll be in Minnesota, my family will be in Colorado, and she'll be in Florida.... which makes it really difficult to visit during breaks. So here's my question, do you think a long distance relationship like this could work? I've seen it happen work, but usually the people in that relationship had been dating for a while, and we haven't. But still, I'd be willing to try and work with that kind of relationship. It would be hard with the distance and everything, but I think we're both mature enough to handle it. I know there are more girls out there, but I don't want this opportunity to slip away either because I really do like her. I mean, I normally wouldn't say this about anyone at this stage, but she's the kind of person I could see myself marrying. But who knows..... </p>

<p>What would you do?</p>

<p>Here’s some wise advice, don’t go for an LDR. The chances of breaking up are more likely than not and you’re going to be depressed about it which is definitely going to hurt you during college. Just be friends or hook up or something but for your sake, don’t get committed.</p>

<ol>
<li>Go to prom together for sure. -100% must-</li>
<li>Split before year is over. You don’t want to worry about your social life outside of college when you’re in college. NO matter what the cost you must split before you go to college. As the phrase goes, “Education before ho’s” -99% must-</li>
</ol>

<p>No…both should be balanced but there are exceptions just like the OP’s situation. Having a social life is equally as important as an education.</p>

<p>Oh wow, your situation seems oddly familiar.</p>

<p>I agree with sAxsKy. Spend some good time with her before graduating and then end it, you can remain good friends. The likelihood of things working out is very small.</p>

<p>I know the feeling of knowing that she’s the one and only one. I know it’s tough, but you’ll enjoy college much more and there’s always a chance to meet new people.</p>

<p>LDR is a very bad idea, especially in college. You want your options open. I third the whole “take advantage of the rest of HS, then leave as friends” advice.</p>

<p>UH. No. Don’t listen to these cynics. You two really like each other, so a long distance relationship is worth a try! If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t be asking us about it. Just make sure you’re on the same page (you both want to give it a try) and go for it – if you don’t, you’ll never know what could have been.</p>

<p>A caveat, though – make sure to take advantage of the social opportunities at your schools; don’t close yourself off to others by spending all of your time talking on the phone/whatever!</p>

<p>Will you still be in Florida for the summer? That’s supposed a time to make great memories, stay with her at least until the fall.</p>

<p>well i’m in one and it’s fun so you should do it too</p>

<p>you gotta live in the moment!!!</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice, everyone! </p>

<p>I will be in Florida for about half of the summer (until early-mid June). So we have some time, but not a lot. Perhaps you should understand more about me personally before you can understand my situation. Both of us are more conservative than most when it comes to dating. I think we’re both looking for more like a courtship/dating type thing. Not a super strict, no physical contact, Bob Jones/Pensacola Christian type “relationship.” but definitely one that’s more meaningful than the typical high school or college relationship. </p>

<p>Haha, I will certainly take advantage of my college’s social opportunities. But I’m not big partier, so I’m not going to be upset if I miss out on the easy girls at the bar and club every weekend. I know that personal interaction is important… but I’m obviously physically attracted to her, we get along really well in person, so that’s all I really need to know as far as personal interaction goes I think. The rest is just getting to know her more. </p>

<p>The last thing I want to do is lead her on into the summer, and then dump her before college. Remember, she’s one of my best friends, and I care about her a lot… no matter what our relationship status is. I just can’t do that to her. </p>

<p>I think this is at least worth a try. If it doesn’t work out, then we end it. That is what dating is all about, right?</p>

<p>End the relationship on a good term, stay as friends and fire it up again after college?</p>

<p>Friends With Benefits.
Done deal.</p>

<p>What I’m saying is that there is a much greater chance of ending on good terms now (or in the summer) rather than halfway through fall semester when you are thousands of miles apart and things are falling apart.</p>

<p>I’m not saying lead her on and dump her. Talk to her, she’ll understand. If you remain good friends (and you should, no matter what), the door always remains open.</p>

<p>You know your own situation better than any of us, and if you feel that continuing on is the best choice, then definitely do it. You’ve obviously thought about this a lot and it’s clear that she means a lot to you.</p>

<p>^ Thanks for the input! </p>

<p>I wasn’t necessarily referring to you and the dump idea, it’s just the vibe I’ve gotten from a few posts. I know what you mean. It would be much easier to halt it here (although it would still be tough) than it would be to stop it once we’ve been going for a while. </p>

<p>It’s a risk for sure. We’re going to meet sometime Wednesday to talk about all of this, so hopefully we’ll be able to get on the same page on whatever we think is best.</p>

<p>Yay! Good to know you’re going to be a gopher. I’m sure a long distance relationship could work out.</p>

<p>I don’t think you should… Long distance is better for a continuing relationship. It probably won’t work to start a relationship long distance. Trust me, at the U of M, there are a lot of other girls.</p>

<p>nonbelievers >:[</p>

<p>:) I’d say enjoy what you can when you can. I don’t really have any experience with long distance relationships but some of my friends have tried and hurt really badly.
I actually went to prom with a senior (I’m a junior) and I think there’s a mutual attraction. We’re both working in relatively the same area this summer so something might happen there, but there’s no question that we’d end it before he goes to college 7 states away.</p>

<p>CYNICS, THE LOT OF YOU! lcchar</p>