<p>This summer I worked my butt off at a movie theater in addition to taking three summer classes... The main reason I got the job was to buy myself a really nice new laptop (going into junior year).</p>
<p>So I just got my $1200 macbook air using the credit card linked to my dad (didn't want to pay in cash) and told my dad I'd write him a check to pay him back. Which is when he tells me not worry because I can consider it an "educational purchase" and because I got As in all my summer classes. </p>
<p>He already pays for my room and board (in-state, but still) and doesn't make me pay for gas, so as much as I appreciate him buying the computer, I feel so bad! Had I known he'd pay for a new computer, I definitely wouldn't have gotten something nearly as expensive. We can easily afford it, but I'm 20. Shouldn't I have some personal responsibility?? </p>
<p>I feel like insisting to him I pay for it, or simply just handing him the check for the amount. Or is that stupid and should I just accept his generosity?</p>
<p>Well, you can take the gift, remember his generosity, and when you are working and your dad is older, be sure to pay attention to him, take him to lunch and dinner often, and not avoid/forget your parents like so many young professionals do. If you don’t want to wait that long, you could simply say that you would at least like to give him a check for half if not the entire cost. Third, if you have his account number, anyone can make a deposit to an account, so you could just deposit the money directly yourself if you really don’t want to “argue” with him about your need to re-imburse him. If you know there is something he has been needing/wanting, this could also be the time to get that for him. What a nice “problem” to try to have to “solve”, huh?</p>
<p>Don’t give him a check or pay him back if he already said no to and gave you the reason why. My dad would never, EVER, do that. Besides, you don’t want to make him feel bad. Maybe he starts to question himself on why wouldn’t you want the laptop as a gift.</p>
<p>If I purchase something of even $100 from my dad and told him i’d pay it back, he’d want every penny back.</p>
<p>If you seriously have nothing better to do with $1,200 just save it and forget about it.</p>
<p>I would offer to pay (even just half) but if he still wants to pay and has the money let him. I’d do as teachandmom said. Maybe as an immediate thanks treat him to dinner, get him tickets to a sports game, or buy him something he’s been wanting but hasn’t wanted to splurge on. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t just deposit the money in his account. It might offend him and would be a little like you’re going behind his back. </p>
<p>Definitely don’t forget about/avoid your parents long term. Treat him more often and show your appreciation long term. There’s no reason to feel guilty if he wants to buy you something nice.</p>
<p>This attitude is probably one of the big reasons why he wanted to help you out. Give him a hug, call home a little more frequently in the fall, and send him some nice emails with your new computer. :)</p>
<p>I know how you feel as I have always felt similarly about my parents providing things for me. I prefer to do it myself and usually do. That said as I get older I think I am realizing more and more that sometimes I should let them do things for me and just accept it gracefully. I think they appreciate my independence but still want to feel needed/that their help and input is appreciated. In your case I think the thing to do as others have said is accept the gift gracefully and show your dad that you really appreciate his help, and want him to remain an important part of your life even though you are becoming more independent.</p>
<p>OP,
write your dad a nice letter telling him what you just told all of us. He will keep that letter forever.</p>
<p>and then give your wonderful dad the most wonderful gift of all…time with you. Take your dad out for a wonderful day…maybe a round of golf with him, or a ball game? And dinner with you.</p>
<p>Your dad is obviously proud of your accomplishments and has offered you a gift because of them. Take the gift graciously and remember his kindness as you move on in life.</p>
<p>Hi, I just thought I’d kick some psychology into this discussion. People, particularly men, like to feel needed and helpful to those that they love. Unless in the long run this purchase is causing problems between the two of you (being held over your head for other things) then I wouldn’t pay it back. Accept his generosity - he wants to give you a gift to show how much he cares about and appreciates you so in return show him the same thing.</p>
<p>Parents want to be assured that their children won’t ditch them once they become older, financially independent, and start their own family. I’ve seen it happen (a son ditching his parents into adulthood) and it’s really painful. I think that a lot of parents try to provide something to their children to make them stick around (not that your parents are required to give you anything unnecessary - they gave you life!), but it seems like your dad is trying to show you affection through material objects. My dad is similar in that he likes to purchase my books and give me a little extra money once in a while because it makes him happy.</p>
<p>you have a good father. and you sound like a good son. my dad took out some parent plus loans for me. I cant thank him enough. I thought about leaving college. I did not want him to do it, but he did.</p>
<p>your dad wants to give you a gift. if your family has them oney and he wants to do osmething special, then it is ok. and you are going to get good use of it for school. like some other people said, remeber what your dad did for you. treat him sometimes and just let him know not only how much the gift means to you, but how much he means to you as well</p>
<p>How big a deal is $1200 to your family? Obviously it’s not nothing unless your parents are multi-millionaires but is it going to cause any sort of financial burden, whether that means your parents not taking a vacation that they otherwise would have or not being able to pay the electric bill? If the latter, insist that he take the money even if he’s offering to pay for it. If the former, simply be nice and make sure you call him frequently during college (presumably he wants you to) and thank him a few times. Say something about how it’s helping you with your studies. If it is actually nothing to him, don’t think much of it. Say thank you and stop feeling guilty about it.</p>