I Day Anxiety

Colleges and Universities A-Z Naval Academy - Annapolis
1

<p>Hello.</p>

<p>My son has always dreamed to attend the USNA. His hard work paid off and he become a top recruit for a Navy Sports program and accepted an appointment to the Academy.</p>

<p>As parents we always supported his interest in Navy and afforded him many opportunities to visit the school and attend Navy sport camps. He took advantage of those opportunities and always returned home describing a positive experience.</p>

<p>During the recruitment phase my son was offered many scholarships to top schools. The Ivy League schools also recruited him and at the time the world was his oyster.</p>

<p>I encouraged him to explore all of those opportunities and even advised him to take the money at a top Academic school and revisit his desire to serve after he finished college.</p>

<p>However , his choice always came back to NAVY.</p>

<p>Last week he told me he has changed his mind and wants to attend a civilian college. I suspect that he has become very anxious about leaving home, joining the military and possibly going to war. (His HS has lost 3 boys in Iraq). He also has been enjoying his senior year and all that goes with it.</p>

<p>My question to the community is this... </p>

<p>Is this second guessing normal before I-DAY ? Do all plebes enter I-DAY "gung ho" or do they become nervous and pensive as the day approaches ? Is this is a bad start to the challenges he has ahead ...or is it just a normal reaction for a seventeen year old about to leave home and afraid to fail ? If it is normal how can I help him ?</p>

2

<p>Everyone has different experinces, for mine I would have been worried had there not been a lot of soul searching during April and then again in June. </p>

<p>And thats not to say that it stopped then...most likely there is still soul searching.</p>

3

<p>His life, his decision and it will be his hard work to be a plebe. We did not push or pull our plebe. Again, it varies per person.</p>

4

<p>does he go to chaminade hs on li? cause i know that chaminade has lost 3 grads and i know that there was a lax defenseman being recruited from chaminade to navy but in response to the topic, its really up to him.</p>

5

<p>Boy can I relate. I always dreamed that I would go to USNA. Now that the other acceptances are coming in I am beginning to rethink this. Being a bit closer to home and at last having a real home after moving every few years has given me lots to think about. My mom says I'm having a pause... There are days too that I think that my parents would prefer me to do the civilian college thing and then if I still wanted to Fly I could do OCS. </p>

<p>Anyone else get some acceptances at Civilian Schools that are making you think again about USNA?</p>

6

<p>In my case, which is the same for the majority of mids, I know deep down that USNA is right for me. I just know. It really becomes obvious that you want USNA when you start to dream about plebe summer every night, or if not plebe summer, something about the academy in general. If you're second-guessing yourself, it's completely natural. I believe that you heart will tell you where you need to be. Go to sleep tonight and when you wake up, the first school that pops into your mind, or the one that makes you most happy when you first think about it is the right school for you. Good luck.</p>

7

<p>Hey Dash-9: Did you get your Private Lic. out of the way?</p>

8

<p>no! this last bit has taken so long to complete (because of poor weather)!!!</p>

<p>I need to go up with my instructor and practice ground reference maneuvers, then he'll schedule the check-ride. I can't wait though!</p>

9

<p>I believe on the one hand ,having the deepest desire to live and learn on the yard ,that Navy is Definitely not a decision to be taken lightly and is not a decision for most people. Having said that I believe that is quite possible that he is having cold feet. I think he should contemplate this and the only thing you can do is encourage him and make it clear he will succeed wherever he goes.</p>

10

<p>I would ask myself, "In the end, would I be happier (in the deepest sense) going to USNA or _______?" Most people would enjoy going to a civilian college more than USNA, but in 15 years would they feel the same?</p>

<p>For me, I know that I would regret not being at USAFA.</p>

11

<p>Dash...i'm curious to know what about plebe summer you could possibly be dreaming about...that doesn't involve nightmares.</p>

<p>Probably the most common saying over the summer (and even now) was "Keep Livin' the Dream" or just "Livin' the dream". We just tried to take things one day at a time...so someone in my class added "one nightmare at a time" to the "Livin' the dream" slogan thing.</p>

<p>Gives us all a good chuckle...but only because there's truth behind it.</p>

12

<p>Irish-Rover:</p>

<p>I think a lot of kids "rethink" their college choices as the day comes closer....especially when there are 2 very competing and compelling choices before them. Add in one of the choices being a service academy, and the anxiety only mounts.</p>

<p>I think a case of the "gitters" is to be expected...fleeting bouts I will add.
Anything more than that....including mounting concerns....would send up a caution flag to me.</p>

<p>Sadly, some kids arrive at USNA not knowing what to expect- which seems to contradict the entire admissions process that they have just completed- but some get pushed into this by others "caught up" in the process....heck, some of the kids get caught up in it as well. Last year one kid left on I-Day... just packed his bags and got right back in the car with mom and dad....
by week 3 Tango company was "open for business"....kids second-guessing their choices. In the end 23 were seperated over the summer....some voluntarily, some not.</p>

<p>What I would suggest to you is to sit down with your kid somewhere quiet, where you can dissern a case of the "gitters" with a true change of heart... and LISTEN.... intently, and with intent. Don't speak...just listen, and HEAR... don't interupt, interject, interfere or infer.... get to the root, then, and only then, guide.</p>

<p>The key word is GUIDE...not push, threaten, conjole, convince, bribe, promise, convince, sway, etc, etc, etc......... YOU are not the one that will go through this..........and if it turns out that your son does not want this down to the tips of his soul then he will not succeed either. This is not for everyone.... and it is no badge of shame if your son chooses elsewhere for whatever reason....this is his life to live........</p>

<p>and if he does choose to "stick it out," breathe a big sigh of relief, then fasten your seatbelt for the wildest ride of your life!!!!!!!</p>

<p>Offered with the sincerest of intent....
and best of luck no matter which path is chosen!</p>

<p>ps... for the rest of you with "I-Day Anxiety":
hang in there.... this day is all about you, and no matter what you hear or read, it is not as bad as what you might expect..... ferrit out some I-Day pics on USNA.net and look at the smiles on all those faces......... heck, we even heard some plebes telling their parents it was a "piece of cake"!!! (well, maybe a small piece!!! ;) )</p>

13

<p>Remember this bit of Vulcan logic?</p>

<p>"You may come to discover that having is not as good as wanting. It is illogical, but often true."</p>

<p>Doubts are natural in all but the most die-hard candidates, especially if they have other options open to them. Some folks decide that they really want to be engineers, or doctors, or lawyers, or whatever, more than an officer. Some decide they'd rather go Navy than Army. These things happen.</p>

<p>All I have ever counseled candidates faced with these dicisions is to come to the decision THEMSELVES and for the RIGHT REASONS. Don't let Mom & Dad pressure you, nor your friends. You are making vary serious decisions that will map out the remainder of your life. Don't screw it up by lying to yourself because you'll regret it.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Do all plebes enter I-DAY "gung ho" or do they become nervous and pensive as the day approaches?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Yes.</p>

<p>If they're not gung-ho going in, they'll most likely fail. That said, to not be nervous and pensive beforehand is a sign of either a complete lack of understanding as to the magnitude of the undertaking, or recklessness. The latter is not good.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Is this is a bad start to the challenges he has ahead ...or is it just a normal reaction for a seventeen year old about to leave home and afraid to fail?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Hard to say. Has he given any reasons for the sudden switch?</p>

<p>
[quote]
If it is normal how can I help him?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>All you can do is help him through the decision process and ensure that he understands whether the reasons he is giving are good or not. Some chicken out because they don't think they can make it (in which case you tell him he can IF he can). Others simply decide that they want to follow a different path for perfectly valid reasons. Not much you can do about that.</p>

<p>I knew someone who had gotten in to 2010, but decided at the last minute to bail. It was determined later on that this person was not as committed nor as unselfish as had originally been thought, and recognized that they would actually have to make their rack in the morning and so forth. Why it took them so long to realize this is beyond me, but there it is.</p>

14

<p>Man, my dreams are absolutely nuts. I'll give you a couple examples.</p>

<p>So it's I-day, and I'm standing with a bunch of kids just like me. (Bear with me, this gets weird...) We are told by an upper-classman to run as quickly as possible over to this helipad which stands about 5 feet off the ground. We all have backpacks on, but mine is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than everyone elses (I packed way too much). We are then told to climb onto the helipad. We all do so, but it takes me longer, because of backpack swings me off balance. So we're all standing at attention on this...helipad. The upper-classman tells all of us to take out anything that we don't need from our backpacks. So we all open up our bags and take out the unnecessary items...except in my head, ALL of the items I take out I will need at some point, and I don't want to be missing anything (i.e. toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, socks, ipod (yea I left my freakin ipod in there), and a book, etc). I don't take out anything, so my backpack is still HUGE (like really freakin big), and everyone else either doesn't have theirs anymore, or it's significantly reduced in size. So after that we have to all run to our rooms. For some reason, me and two other kids are assigned to the top floor, mind you, in this version of "bancroft hall" there are if I remember correctly AT LEAST 10 floors. So we all run inside, and most everyone is at their room except me and the other two kids on my floor. So look, I'm a pretty good runner, state champ in the 800, member of a state champion cross-country team, I'm not shabby, and it ****es the HELL out of me because these two other kids are ahead of me and they are running SO FAST up the stairs and I am breathless carrying my HUGE backpack, and the whole while I'm being yelled at by upper-classmen (I presumed) from the bottum of the stairs. So we're running up these damn stairs, and all the sudden, they start moving, like in the Harry Potter books and movies. Yea the freakin stairs start to rotate, so I stop and it takes me SO long to find the correct stairs to go up to get to the top floor because they have all shifted. Well we finally get to the top floor, and I find that I will be sharing a room with 2 seniors...I want to cry.</p>

<p>Well that's like the first HALF of that dream just to give you an idea. My hands hurt.</p>

15

<p>Wait until you get the one where the EE final is that morning and you haven't been to class all semester, and the Dan't is expecting you at a Conduct board in 20 minutes but you don't have the right uniform....</p>

<p>Damn near 20 years later and I STILL get those fracking dreams! :D:D:D:D:D</p>

16

<p>IRISH_ROVER I feel your son's pain. I have always wanted to go to an SA, not always navy, but ALWAYS an SA. I applied to Notre Dame because 1. Im Irish Catholic 2. because I wasn't sure if I'd get into Navy, and Notre Dame has a huge Naval ROTC program and 3. because my parents urged me to apply to at least one civillian school. Now that I got into ND, I feel like I am questioning everything I have ever felt about the SAs. I get the same Butter Bar coming out of Notre Dame as I get out of Navy, but without all the crap. I know Navy will develop me physically and Morally, but ND will develop me spiritually and let me enjoy my college years more. Also, I would much rather I know someone will probably get on here and tell me that questioning my decision means I don't even deserve to go to navy, but as someone about to make a very important decision, I am freeking out.</p>

17

<p>hye--you are much like my son!!--but he got rejected just 3 days ago from ND--He's a big Catholic (means alot to him) and would have loved ND--I wish you guys could have met!! But realize God puts you where He wants you and that should make you feel blessed!! Especially during Holy week! Maybe one day your paths will cross just as He intended! God Bless and good luck!</p>

18

<p>I agree that God will put me where I need to be. I am going to put it out of my mind for a week, then make a decision using my heart and gut. This week will be spent praying and praying some more. I would love to meet your son some day, I bet we would get along great.</p>

19

<p>I KNOW you would!!!</p>

20

<p>Danbrenn:</p>

<p>My son last year had already told us that he was going to accept his Appointment to the Naval Academy prior to recieve any notification from Notre Dame. When he got his rejection letter from ND it totally shocked him. He had his NROTC to ND since October and his dad graduated from ND and so did he Uncle and I ( his mom) graduated from St Mary's. He definitely thought he would be turning down ND and not vice versa. He was devastated by the rejection even though he was quite sure the Naval Academy was for him. I finally told him God wanted to make the right decision easy for you. My brother and I felt he should go to ND and enjoy his college experience wher my husband dream was to be a navial aviator but wore glasses and had asthma and could not fathom how he could turn down USNA. He is very happy plebe at USNA and now knows that the Naval Academy is the best place for him. Things definitely happen for a reason and just look deep inside yourself and your will make the decision that is best for you.</p>