Okay to start off I don’t really use cc that much but I’m deciding to give it a go to see if I can gain any help or reassurance on here. So basically my issue is is that I was accepted into an amazing school in Massachusetts that is highly ranked and very well regarded. I toured the school and fell in love with it, but lately I’ve been falling out of love with it. I’ve been having massive anxiety and panic attack to the point where I’m needing to see a therapist. Any thought of college or slight reference to it instantly puts a huge pit in my stomach to the point where I feel extremely nauseous, due to this I haven’t been able to eat right and even woke up in the middle of the night puking (gross ik but that’s my reality atm). Part of me really wants to go to college because I know I will have better outcome, but another part of me wants to cancel my enrollment and start community college in the spring, but another issue is that my parents already started paying my tuition last week so now I basically have no way out. I’ve cried so many times this week and at this point I’m utterly terrified to leave and I don’t feel mentally ready at all despite having almost a month until move in. I’m also curious to see if anyone has any advice about coping with anxiety in college and how to handle this last month before leaving… so yeah any advice would be helpful because I’m having massive doubts right now.
Please read this pinned post: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc.html#latest
What you are experiencing is sooooo common. If you have nothing better to do, spend the next three months (or just look back a few pages, as these posts are already coming in) on this page and you will see dozens of similar posts. It’s a combination of buyer’s remorse, self doubt (what if I can’t handle it here?), and fear of leaving your comfort zone.
You fell in love with your school. Go back to that. What do you love about it? I guarantee whatever new fears you’ve suddenly developed about this school will not match reality. The amazing school ONLY accepted you because they feel you will succeed there. The kids who weren’t admitted my not have succeeded there, but they are probably going to schools where they too will succeed.
You DO have a way out: start college, give it your best effort. If, despite your best effort, you are horribly unhappy and/or failing, then you leave. Continue to see your therapist, and sign up for counseling at your college the minute you arrive on campus. Trust me, it’s important to do that because they are trained to deal with exactly what you are describing. But you need to at least try. Right now, your mind is greatly exaggerating what’s coming soon: I’m leaving home (no, home is still home. You have YEARS before you move out); I’m afraid (so is everyone else); I’m not as good as I thought I was and everyone will see I’m a fake and I shouldn’t be there (the AO’s knows better than you, and all the other kids they admitted, so please believe them. You would NOT have been admitted if they didn’t think you could handle it. And guess what? The majority of the other kids are just as unsure of themselves as you are.)
I suggest you read all the pages of the post I linked. I wrote that thread because my daughter went through the same thing. She had several very unhappy months and honestly, if she hadn’t been five hours away from home, her story might have had a different outcome. But she’s going to be a senior this year, at a school she loves, with great friends, and she’s had incredible opportunities. You can do this, but not if you allow yourself to succumb to unfounded worries. Focus on the positive: I was chosen. I have great opportunities, home is always there, I have friends and family who love me, I will meet wonderful new friends, and even if it sucks for a while, it’s a blip in my life and it isn’t permanent.
Bets of luck to you!
Does your class have a FB group that you could join? Then you can get to know some fellow students.
Have you texted with your roommate or know who they are?
You can make new friends in college:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
You can do well in college:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html
OP, you’ll get more good insight if you post a response here on your thread. I’m glad you replied to my pm. I also wanted to say that instead of viewing this as a negative thing that is full of “what if’s”, view it instead as a positive thing.
You’re going to meet some great people, and some of them are going to become your best friends. You’re going to take really good classes and meet exciting professors who will capture your interest. You’re going to learn new stuff and expand your field of knowledge. You’re going to get involved in new things you never imagined possible. You’re going to mature and not only cherish your family and friends from home, but also expand your circle to include new people you care about. You might even study abroad in some amazing location, or get a fantastic internship in a new city, or be inspired by a group at college you aren’t even aware of yet. Community college is a wonderful resource too, but it isn’t quite as likely to provide the same opportunities as a residential college. FWIW, I myself attended CC for three years before transferring to a local commuter university.
Real life example: my daughter was super shy and very quiet. Since she’s been at college, she joined a club that competed against other colleges, volunteered in the community for course credit, had three campus jobs (two of which involved working with profs), studied abroad and lived with a host family, received an unexpected cash award from college for being the best at her subject that year, applied for and received a grant to do research, and many other great things. No one was more surprised by what my D has done than my husband and I, who used be worried that she might not get past the first semester.
Now, my D is by no means any kind of superstar student and the things she has done may be just a tad over-emphasized by me, her proud mom. She sent us many texts of doom, wanted to leave, said she was in the wrong place, couldn’t find friends (at first) and was truly unhappy for a while, which was very tough to endure, for all of us. My point is that had she allowed herself to give up, she would 100% NOT be happier today, and 100% would not be in a better position than she is today. Face your fears and allow yourself the benefit of becoming an adult in a great school for you.
Hugs OP! You are not alone. Leaving home is daunting and college may take a little while to adjust to, but it will all be okay. Realize that lots of the kids you will meet when you get there are feeling similar doubts. College is a chance to put yourself out there, make new friends, learn about yourself and invest in your future – but you don’t have to do it all at once. First semester goals: learn your way around, go to class, study, and talk to people. By the end of first semester, you will feel much more secure, and you can set some new goals for second semester.
Have you talked to your parents about how you’re feeling? What do they think? It might help to have a plan for them to come visit you a month or so after school starts. That will be something calming to look forward to.
I am a worrier like you, and I’ve realized over the years that NOTHING has ever been as bad as I thought it would be. Yes there will be ups and downs but you will have support - from your parents, your advisor, your therapist, your friends.
I agree with the suggestion to get in contact with other kids who will be in your class through Facebook, etc. This is a time when everyone is trying to put their best foot forward. I bet they will help you remember why you were excited about the school in the first place. They are also all open to making new friends like you!
I had the same cold shoulders. I WOULD STILL GO!
This day in age people can continue their undergrad at community colleges. You might go to cc and do your first two years and then continue at the cc for the rest of your undergrad meaning you miss out on the college experience.
Once you go the cc route it’s going to be difficult getting that college experience coming into a regular university as a junior. You might miss out on a key element of college.
If your parents already paid, I would get excited about it and come in with an open mind. You don’t know what something is going to be like until you try it.
Personally I think it’s just nerves. I had them. I know other people who had them. It’s normal. Once I stepped foot on campus on move in day and saw everyone else excited, I got excited.
A lot of people walk into college and they decide they’re not ready so they go home to do community college and they discover that cc isn’t too great either so they drop out all together or they never finish. Or they finish in a longer span of time.
As others have told you, you are not alone. It is very common to feel this way right before embarking on the start of college.
Just take it one day at a time. Don’t overthink it. Put one foot in front of the other and press on. You can do this. You will be ok. Try to keep a sense of humor and laugh along the way too. You’ve got this. It will be great.