I moved into my state flagship school several days ago, and while classes haven’t started yet, I feel like I shouldn’t be here. The thought of having to sit through lectures and take notes and tests and study just makes me sick. I stressed myself out so much in high school and I know it’ll be a lot worse in college. I think I’m still suffering from the educational burnout I had in high school. My grades started slipping slightly my junior and senior years because I was tired of school and learning. I feel like the independence that comes with college is only going to make my situation worse, since I’ll have to motivate myself.
I feel like I need more time to figure myself out and get a sense of what I want. I’m thinking I want to work in the music industry, but I honestly don’t know. The only thing running through my mind these last few days is how much I regret not taking a gap year instead of diving straight into college because it was expected of me.
I completely agree with @romanigypsyeyes. You really should seek professional counseling. Most schools offer counseling for free at the student health center.
@romanigypsyeyes I made an appointment with the counseling center, but the only time available wasn’t for another two weeks. Do you have any suggestions for coping between now and my first appointment?
Hi @clarinet1234 that’s a really good start! Congratulations!
When do courses start? If they started today, did going to class help at all? Are there any groups on campus that sound interesting? You said you like music, have you thought about participating in music groups?
Here’s the big one: have you talked to your parent(s) or other family members about this? If not, do you feel like that is a safe thing for you to do?
@romanigypsyeyes Classes start later this week. There are a couple groups I was going to try getting involved in with at the student organization fair in a couple weeks. I’m signed up for one of the music ensembles. I was going to try out for marching band but an injury has prevented me from doing so.
My mom knows about my past issues, but I haven’t seriously talked to my parents this time. I brought it up a little bit over a text and she mostly seemed to think it was just typical freshman homesickness.
How to survive until the counselling appointment:
Healthy body = healthy mind. Every day, preferably morning, go outdoors, get morning sunlight, walk or run or do any kind of exercise. The endorphins will reduce the stress and anxiety.
Sleep well. No electronics one hour before closing your eyes.
Practice good posture. Standing and sitting in confident, expansive poses will actually make you feel more confident.
(Hugs)
You can do it.
Edit: anxiety comes from being mentally too much in the future and the past. Try to be in the moment more. Doing physical activities will help.
I think my situation has gotten a lot worse since yesterday. Convocation was today, and the Chancellor and other important people talking about all the great things we’ll do and everything scared me more than anything. I know it’s supposed to be motivational but I just… I don’t know but I really didn’t like it.
Convocation got me thinking about classes starting soon. There’s been a knot in my stomach since I moved here a week ago, and every day it only feels like it’s getting bigger. I’m scared for classes starting since I don’t think I’ll be able to handle them. I’m not motivated at all right now. I signed up for classes that sounded interesting and shared common aspects of things I enjoyed in high school, but now nothing interests me. I’m so scared of starting college because I’m afraid that if my current mental state continues, I’ll start out my career with terrible grades and have to dig myself out of a huge hole. I really don’t think I can do this.
I’m very sorry, I drafted a post but it didn’t post for some reason.
Your college should have a crisis center. If not, dial 211 and find out about local resources in your area.
It might be time to open up to your parents if you feel like that is an option. Sitting and thinking it over isn’t going to help and you need to talk to someone. Again, 211 is a fantastic resource.
What do you do on your free time? Have you met anyone on your floor or in groups?
There IS help. I have been battling Depression & Anxiety for nearly 10 years. I’m now a PhD student in a top school. You can fight through this and it does NOT have to define your life. You just can’t do it on your own- no one can.
@romanigypsyeyes I will try to talk to my mom tonight. Last time it took until I had a complete breakdown for her to take my issues seriously, but hopefully she’ll listen now.
I’ve gone to all but one of the events in my dorm/neighborhood. I’ve met a lot of people that have been nice to me and when we were together for the event, it was great. I haven’t found anyone who I would search for if I wanted to go do something, though.
Classes started today and I realized how low my motivation is. The professors I met today seem engaging and enthusiastic about the topics they teach, but all I could think about was how much work I would have to put in and how much I do not want to do that.
Book or drop in to meet with each of your Faculty over the next week and a half. That will help! Discuss assignments, career interests, etc. Connection is huge.
@dyiu13 What exactly should I say? I haven’t been given an official diagnosis and I won’t have one for a couple weeks. I feel like if I go to talk to professors I might just start crying (I’ve been doing a lot of that lately )
Ah. I don’t mean to advise you to meet with faculty about your emotional state. Take that to the counselors and those type of staff. When you meet with faculty, present yourself as a striving student.
@clarinet1234 is there any possibility that you might have a physical reason for feeling low? Thyroid, low iron /anemia, vit D levels - common causes for feelings of apathy, depression, lack of energy. Consider going to a doctor / health center and asking about this snd getting a complete blood count plus tsh?
Some general anstyness is normal. This is a hard transition. However it sound’s like OP isn’t normal. Probably a good idea to go see a Shrink and get some Xanax.
On a side note, don’t get involved in every single activity on the billboard. Your time is too valuable.
