hello. i was recently admitted to the Harvard class of 2023. I initially applied because I have a sibling at Harvard, but I did not think I would make it in at all. I kind of just applied to make my parents happy. I’m really nervous, because when I visited and stayed there for a week I could not see myself being happy there. I didnt attend any classes, but the atmosphere of students just seemed kind of depressing to me. Im wondering if I would be happier at a school like Duke, unc chapel hill, or Stanford, and if I should apply. people tell me I would be crazy (insaneee) to turn harvard down. but, i dont know, the prestige doesnt call to me in the slightest. i just want to have a challenging yet joyful college experience. what should I do? my family has pretty much already bought me harvard merch.
Assuming you’re not committed to going to Harvard (ED application) I recommend you apply to other schools, and make a final decision later this spring.
What about the atmosphere of the students seemed depressing?
If you think that you would be happier at other schools and you are not committed to Harvard, definitely apply elsewhere.
I’m sorry you feel this way. But believe me it will be worth something to you in ten years. But if duke or Stanford are the other options it won’t matter at all.
If you don’t like it, don’t go. There are many on the waitlist who dream of you saying no, so that they can say Yes.
Since Harvard isn’t ED, you still have time to apply elsewhere for the RD round. However, exercise caution that the “other side of the fence is greener” necessarily isn’t always the case. What makes you think that you’d be happier at those other schools you mentioned? Have you visited any of them, sat in some of their classes, dined in their halls, etc.?
When taking the Proust Questionnaire this well known respondent mentioned Harvard in the context of his “greatest regret”: https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/10/15/charlie-baker-takes-proust-questionnaire/p2B2GsYFIUnYnVLsZCiX3I/amp.html. If you didn’t find Harvard particularly appealing, then you should feel free to consider other colleges. If you ultimately think you might like Harvard, your offer will still be there for you into the spring.
I don’t see what you lose by applying elsewhere besides application money, but make sure you know what you’re looking for in terms of institutional culture. And in the meantime try to find things about Harvard you might enjoy, in case you’re not accepted to other places.
I read @merc81 link. Very interesting. Charlie Baker is Massachusetts governor. Not like there aren’t a lot of Harvard folks in his life these days. To say that he should have went to Hamilton instead of Harvard is probably not the most popular thing to say.
I would say cc in general is not the best place to dare to say such blasphemy. :-c
This is not too far-fetched. My daughter ended up EDing and getting accepted to Rice because she thought she would be happy there. According to her, something she can’t see with Harvard.
I also know folks who turned down Harvard – and never regretted it. Of course, these were superb students who went to other elite schools. (Stanford, Yale.)
There are plenty of people (presumably including your sibling) having challenging, fun experiences at Harvard that they wouldn’t exchange for four years anywhere else. Harvard offers so many opportunities and extracurricular activities that you’ll be bored only if you don’t take advantage of them. Boston/Cambridge is a pretty great place to be a college student.
Also, student happiness is highly variable depending on when you visit. Students at any university are going to be irritable and stressed during midterms week.
Duke, UNC Chapel Hill, and Stanford offer strong academics and lively social scenes, but I wouldn’t necessarily assume that they offer more student happiness than Harvard. Speaking as a Duke alum, the university is not without its issues – though the administration has been working hard to fix them.
That said, you are the best judge of where you’ll do best, and Harvard certainly isn’t for everyone. As other posters said above, there’s no need to commit to Harvard now. Apply to other schools and see where you’re accepted in March.
~20% of students admitted to Harvard choose to attend another school. It’s not that weird. Don’t sweat it, and apply to schools you like better.
Back in the day my husband was recruited to play tennis at Yale but turned it down to attend UNC Chapel Hill as an OOS student (where he was not recruited but ‘walked on’ to the tennis team). He wanted warmer weather and he just thought the students seemed happier when he visited. Honestly, he didn’t over think it – just went with his gut. He loved his 4 years there!
He did very well at UNC, went on to law school and is nationally prominent in his public law
specialty.
For the record, when he shared this story with my D who was applying last year she was in disbelief. Most kids today can’t imagine passing up an Ivy opportunity, so I understand why you feel pressure to attend. (It’s worth noting that Ivies were difficult to get into in the 1980s, but not at the same level of selectivity as today. The Ivies were a big deal but not as big a deal, if that make sense.)
Anyway, college is what you make of it and while I think you could attend Harvard and be happy you could also be happy and get a great education elsewhere. I would def. apply to some other options and explore more. Remember, it’s your life and you know you better than anyone!!
Congrats on your acceptance and good luck!
Know many who turned down Harvard. My kid didn’t even apply to Harvard because he didn’t want to go there even if he got in. It’s nothing new these days. I feel these days, you should only go to a college if you really want to go there and feel it’s a good fit.
I bet you you could impress just as many employers and people by mentioning you got accepted at Harvard but chose to go to an Honors with merits or Rice or Pomona etc. Shows you are your own person. Save your acceptance letter in case they want to verify.
Frankly, if I were a person interviewing you for a job, I would be more impressed by a person who went to Rice or Pomona after getting accepted at Harvard. Seriously.
Lol, not something to mention in a job interview. Especially not after successes at another fine school and even a few years on the job.
OP, so explore options. Harvard isn’t the only good college. But make sure this isn’t just ‘buyer’s remorse.’
Different people want different things. My father didn’t like H. But one brother never left.
Since you mentioned Stanford, dook, and UNC-CH do you think you’d like a school with big-time athletics especially Men’s Basketball? Are you a big basketball fan?
Other than the big-time sports scene I’m not sure you won’t be able to find your tribe at Harvard as you would at about any school. My D didn’t like the large amount of pretentiousness at Princeton but found her group in a rigorous academic program. I went to UNC-CH in the stone age and there was plenty of pretentiousness there as well as I’m sure you’d find at dook, Stanford and especially Harvard but I’m sure there are plenty of people that fit what you look for in a social group as well.
Wait to see where you are accepted regular decision. Do lots of reading up on your choices between now and then, and, after you know where you have been admitted, revisit your top two or three and make an informed decision.
If you turn down Harvard, with all its opportunities and the single most recognizable name in American higher education, it should be because you are confident that your personal learning style, interests, and desires are better matched by another college. If they are, then pick that other college.
But it sounds like you applied to Harvard early because of your family’s connection to it, without really weighing its pros and cons. Now you can do so. It may turn out that you find that Harvard can provide a lot of what you seek and may be the best place for you to attend. But it may not. Just don’t reject it based on stereotypes or just to be different from your family. It might be a great place for you, so be open to that possibility. Also, see how your sibling feels about it and consider how his/her descriptions of it match or do not match what you seek in a college. Pick the school that is best for you, whether it is Harvard or someplace else.
Either way, congratulations on your achievement in being admitted to Harvard, and good luck wherever you go to school!
Harvard is one of the country’s great research universities, but, it has its share of drawbacks at the undergraduate level; the 20% who choose to go elsewhere aren’t stupid or misguided. Superficially, Harvard is a mixed bag the moment you step off The Yard (none of the buildings erected since the 1960s have withstood the test of time - and that’s a good three quarters of the campus); school spirit is almost nonexistent (think about it - it is uncool to say you are proud to go to Harvard) and, IMHO, it isn’t the best place for people who are trying “to find themselves”. The advising is rumored to suck.
OTOH, I don’t think Harvard gets nearly enough credit for how hard its students work and the level of true intellectual satisfaction possible there (think Swarthmore or Chicago with a lot more name recognition.) Comparables would certainly include Stanford, Yale, Princeton and the aforementioned Chicago - and even Swat for pure undergraduate rigor. Outside of that group, it is really a matter of taste and fit. How much is school spirit worth, if it means a slightly less intellectual tone to campus (maybe, Duke and Dartmouth?) Cohorts in the performing arts (maybe, Wesleyan?) A green and leafy campus (maybe, Williams or Amherst?) There’s really no right or wrong answer, here.