<p>To summarize, I'm beginning college next week as an off-campus student. I went to my college's "First Night" and as soon as I was there, I just wanted to leave. </p>
<p>How can I overcome this to succeed in club participation and group projects and just in general not being known as some 'loser' or 'freak'? (I know that's not supposed to happen in college but this college has a reputation of being "High School Extended")</p>
<p>I know lots of people feel this way, so I guess to elaborate....
(Note: if you don't want to read this whole thing I'd still appreciate any advice for the question above)</p>
<p>I never fit in with kids at my elementary/middle school. I live in the "snotty upper-class white people" suburbs. Most people are close-minded (against other cultures, races, religions, politics, homosexuality and stuff like dyed green hair, piercings and tattoos). The jock/slutty cheerleader stereotype is rampant. I finally found my niche in high school (which was located in a city close to the suburbs). I became friends with people from different backgrounds and fit in more with the hipster, artistic stoner rebel types who grew up in an urban/crime and drug-ridden environment/household. I know you'll judge me for this but the only (sub)culture that I felt I belonged in and which accepted me was the stoner/anti-authority subculture. But that part of my life is over.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the college is a mile from my house, and a good portion of the students are the students from elementary/middle school. So I'm starting over and I'm back to where I started. Friendless, lonely, watching everyone else have fun with each other. My university (University of Rhode Island) has a reputation as a kind of party-school. So most people who go there, at least those I met in orientation, are just excited to be free of their parents so they can get wasted every night. Greek life and frat boys seem to be top of the "popularity chain". It's supposed to be an extension of HS; most students are from the suburbs I mentioned and just want to continue their HS partying career. So most people are jocks, wannabe sluts, stoners/alcoholics. It's supposed to be one of the most homophobic colleges in the nation, and has a reputation for being racist (predominantly against African-Americans). Everyone dresses like a jock or a burnt-out methhead. I miss the green hair and tattoos of my HS, where people were "unique-ish" and definitely more open-minded and unusually mature. </p>
<p>Note I don't want to go to this college but it's the most financially sound. So back to the point, I went to First Night and my social anxiety kind of multiplied by twenty. It's just like pre-HS, I'm not going to make any friends and everyone is going to hate me. </p>
<p>Yes, I know college is for studying. But to build my resume I have to join clubs and such, and then there's group projects, and these people are all going to hate me. At best I'll just be ignored; at worst I'll be mocked, made fun of or maybe even beat up. I feel like people can just tell that I'm "different" with different ideals and morals. </p>
<p>All the other freshmen were already in groups or with a friend. I was alone. I'm a coward; I was too scared to even go up to one of the tables (different clubs had tables). I eventually left. The next four years are going to suck, aren't they?</p>
<p>So main question: How can I overcome this to succeed in club participation and group projects and just in general not being known as some 'loser' or 'freak'? (I know that's not supposed to happen in college but as I said this college has a reputation of being "High School Extended")</p>