<p>I was a loser in high school and now I'm at college, hoping to make a new start. It's been three weeks and a half and so far that has not really happened. As an engineer I spend a lot of time studying at the library, so my hallmates are close with each other...but not with me, I'm the outsider of the group. I leave my door open whenever I'm in, but no one comes over to talk with me, and my hall is a very tight-knit group with each other that I always feel like an interloper. I've tried taking initiative by walking into their rooms when the door's open to talk with them when they're in groups and chatting with each other, but there's always a big awkward silence whenever I come in after the initial greeting, and it's hard to join in their conversation since they already know each other well and have in jokes and they keep referring to people/events that I do not know/did not attend. </p>
<p>I've joined clubs but they've only met two times so far and I haven't made friends yet - I've talked with people and got numbers but I'm worried I'd seem like a creeper since it's been so long since I last met them. People in class aren't very talkative either. It's just hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?</p>
<p>Start hanging out TA hours, you meet the other engineering students and make friends with them.
You have missed the boat on meeting your hall mates when they didn’t know each other well.
You could ask your hall mates to holler down the hall when they are going to dinner so you can join them.
You gotta have thick skin and not be shy about inviting yourself and tagging along to get to know people.
FWIW, don’t ramble on on how hard engineering is and their major is so easy…
A real turnoff when you want to make friends not repel them.</p>
<p>I know where you’re coming from–I was the odd one out in high school, but I was determined to start out new.<br>
Try not to study in the library. Study in the common room of your dorm. This way, you can say hi whenever people pass through and get involved in conversations. Invite other people in your hall to dinner/lunch or even breakfast if people are up that early. Someone I really respect told me this–just go out there and try it. What’s the worst people can do to you? They say something, or talk about you, and then what? Nothing. And people just don’t have the energy to judge everything you do. Don’t worry so much about what people think about you. Batllo is right in the fact that you have to have thick skin. If you have their number, hit them up! Say something like, “Hey, remember me? I met you at ________ and I was wondering if you’d want to go grab lunch later today” or something like that. Because if it turns out badly, then it turns out badly and you can move on, but some people will remember you! I recently ran into someone I had met about three months ago and hadn’t talked since, and was surprised to see how much he remembered about me! Just take a risk–friendships are risky, but if you just let the opportunities pass you buy, you’ll just cheat yourself. There are people in my hall who are just now realizing that they’re missing out on all the hall activities, and are starting to show up more and more often. It’s a little harder for them to get integrated because they missed the first initial bonding time, but they are becoming a part of our group. Just make yourself known, introduce yourself multiple times. Smile a lot and talk about the other people. Ask them questions and get them talking. If people realize you’re a listener, they’ll be more interested. Ask them what they’re interested in, and be interested in their hobbies and activities. Tag along with them to club activities. Do something unique–something for your hall. Don’t try to focus the attention on yourself, but rather other people. But also don’t be too reserved and isolate yourself. Stay where people can see you and initiate conversations.<br>
Feel free to message me if you need help, because I totally know where you’re coming from. I was there.</p>