<p>You would be surprised who does NOT get into those two schools…especially girls. You might want to think in terms of “possibly,” not “probably.”</p>
<p>Katy, it sounds to me like you are being sensitive to others’ feelings. I don’t get these accusations of snobbery. I think the thing to do is be honest without pushing the subject. If your cousin says anything to you about not being able to afford a school, you could say something about how you have heard that <em>everyone</em> ought to run the online net price calculators, because can be surprising how much aid people can get.</p>
<p>You and your cousin need to realize that sticker price (the published price) is rarely the net price. If your cousin gets into schools that meet 100% need, she won’t pay more than she can afford, although she would have loans where you wouldn’t and what the school deems “what they can afford” may not be what her parents think they can afford or may be willing to pay.
You can mention any college you’re applying to and encourage your cousin to look beyond state schools - unless your state has generous merit in addition to state grants, a 100% need college may cost less than your instate option… Some in state public really have lousy need based financial aid. At others, it would depend on her stats.
You’re lucky because you can consider out of state public universities, and she can’t. But top private LACs will make sure that their admitted students can attend, regardless of ability to pay.</p>
<p>Op,
Your family sounds the same as our family. Large family with Differing income levels and everyone getting involved in others’ business and offering unsolicited advice. If that’s the case, then really, all the grandparents, parents/siblings, and nieces and nephews already know about each others differences in income and finances. So it’s fine to be honest with them. If everyone offers unsolicited advice, maybe your folks and tell your cousins folks that sometimes private colleges offer more financial aid and/or more merit aid which may make it cheaper than a state univ.</p>
<p>Just cuz they want to be in your business doesn’t mean they get to be.
You can tell them the list of colleges you are applying to. You can tell them part of the list, and say you are looking at more. You can say you are still formulating your list. You can say that you have read it is best not to tell people about your list because then you just get eternal comments.</p>
<p>Say you do say your list, and they make some snarky comment. “Must be nice”
You could then say “I am applying to colleges that make sense for me.”
or “It is nice. I have worked hard and have gotten good grades.”
or “Are you aware you said that out loud?”
“Are you saying that i should restrict where I apply for some reason?”
or “We are waiting to see what financial aid I get before making a decision.”</p>
<p>I understand OP’s issue. I imagine that she is afraid that if she identifies the colleges, unthinking people will say, “Isn’t that really expensive?” “How are you going to pay for that?” “Wouldn’t it be a lot cheaper to go to U of X?” Here, I think you need to prepare a bland stock answer, like, “I’m sure it won’t be easy-I really hope my parents and I can work it out.”</p>
<p>And if they press, say, “The financial stuff is complicated, and we’re working on it. You can ask my [dad or mom] about it.” Refer it to the parent most able to tell others to mind their own business.</p>
<p>I tell my kids to be grateful for privilege, not ashamed of it (or worse, proud!). Everyone needs an attitude of gratitude no matter what their circumstances. No one deserves their wealth or their poverty, anyway.</p>
<p>OP this sort of situation will always occur. There will always be students who have families who are able to afford expensive schools and those that can’t. It sounds as if you are very considerate of your cousin’s feeling. You can always use a very bland general response when asked - as others here have suggested.</p>
<p>When I was a HS senior a classmate of mine had the same test scores, similar grades, we took honors classes together ( no AP 's offered), etc. He attended an Ivy and I began my college studies at the local CC due to financial reasons. I had a great experience with both the CC and the school that I transferred to. We were both happy and I never resented him, I just realized that our circumstances were different. Hopefully your family feels the same.</p>
<p>I have seen both sides of this as we are able to send our kids to private schools, full pay. I have emphasized to my own kids that they are very, very fortunate and that not everyone is. They get it.</p>