<p>Our HS senior has always been a very above-average student. GPA 3.8+ unweighted, 4.3+ weighted, high-level courses, great ECs (but no leadership roles). She's had to help out a LOT at home due to a chronic family illness. </p>
<p>What little savings we have is nearly depleted and is an extremely feeble retirement at that. Our daughter works, but is required to pay for all her expenses, so has saved very little. We do have home equity, but can't tap it. Family business has debt and most of our extra money goes toward paying that down and cost of living in general.</p>
<p>QUESTION: Our daughter will receive scholarships paying roughly half of the cost of our state schools, but she'd love to go out of state. I don't know how we could afford it. We can't even afford family airfare for trips to visit family back home. AGI last year (small business) was its all-time best at $75K, but will be a less this year due to economy.</p>
<p>I don't know what to tell our daughter. Should I tell her to go ahead and apply and then be disappointed when the schools require a high EFC? I'm assuming they will because of our home equity. </p>
<p>The chronic illness of one of her parents has strained out ability to survive, let alone save, throughout her lifetime, and our dear daughter has not only helped at home with chores but also with any personal expenses. I feel so bad. The state school she would go to is ranked in the #90s in U.S. News & World Report, but does have a party reputation. Would I be a better parent to suggest she stay in state for undergrad and save her money for grad school? </p>
<p>Be up front as to how much you can contribute and let her figure out the rest. If she wants to make a go for one with higher expenses knowing she can't go if the financial offers aren't sufficient, let it be her decision. Just do not lead her on to think you'll come through no matter what. We did that for ours and DD's first choice did not come through with enough money so it was eliminated. She is thrilled with where she is now and can't even imagine being at her former first choice. Things change. Just be honest. Let her make the decisions.</p>
<p>Yes, suggest she stay in state, but also suggest that she research a semester out of state at a cooperating institution. That would be far more affordable. My heart goes out to you all. My aunt lived in very restricted circumstances in retirement due to her daughter's illness and her husband's early death. It is so hard for some families!</p>
<p>If you can easily afford what the system estimates your EFC should be, she can apply anywhere and you can see which schools meet everything needed for the cost of attendance except for your EFC.</p>
<p>If you can't afford what the system estimates your EFC should be, join the club. Figure out what you CAN afford to contribute, and let her apply to inexpensive out of state colleges or especially to in state private colleges or out of state colleges offer nice merit scholarships such that she can afford to attend them with the combination of a merit scholarship, what you can afford, what she can make, and perhaps a small loan each year. If she can get a full tuition scholarship, can you and she manage the costs of traveling to and from school and of room and board? If so, she has a lot of options, especially if she has or can get good SAT or ACT scores.</p>
<p>I think it is not a good idea to let her apply to expensive schools that offer no merit aid.</p>
<p>I think there are many schools where she could get substantial merit aid.</p>
<p>Good luck. She sounds like a great daughter!</p>
<p>Some private schools may give her better aid (need based and merit) than the in-state public. They are worth looking into. Also, some state schhols give free tuition to top students (even oo state). I think U of MO Columbia does (though I am not sure about it).</p>
<p>I think that in many cases, home equity is NOT considered as part of net worth for the efc. Also, if the parent with a chronic health problem is classified as "disabled", that might help.
If it were my daughter, I would be utterly honest about how many dollars I could contribute, but encourage her to apply where ever she is interested and see what could be negociated after she has some acceptances in hand.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, being a small business owner puts you in a bad position. We too are small business owners and it makes it difficult to qualify for any need based financial aid from any college. Everything that you own in the business is considered assets. Talk with your accountant and give him a copy of the FAFSA form. Maybe he can make suggestions.</p>
<p>There is nothing wrong with going to an instate public university. Try not to feel the guilt. You are giving her the opportunity to go to college. It may not be her first choice school, but I'm sure she will understand. If you can find a private college that offers good Merit Aid based on her academic statistics, let her apply.</p>
<p>Put it to her this way. When all of the acceptances and financial packages come in, you will sit down together and compare the bottom line cost of the offers. Pick the best 3 offers and compare the pros and cons between them. Let her know that although it will come down to finances, she will have options to choose from.</p>
<p>NYSMILE -- Thanks for your small business comparison scenario. I've read on a few sites, including here, that businesses with under 100 employees are exempt from this. Also, we don't file a separate business tax return. It's a very small family business with one employee. Is this still true? Since the business is so small (with one employee) does this still hold true? Service-oriented business with virtually no assets other than minimal office equipment.</p>
<p>carbonbeach you seem to be in a difficult position - my sympathies. However, one bright bit of information is that as a small business owner, you do not report the assets of your business on FAFSA. If your income from the business is < $75K in 2008, and this is your only income, then you might very well be in a good position regarding need-based financial aid.</p>
<p>Have your daughter look at FAFSA-only schools, compute your estimated family contribution, and be upfront with her about what you can contribute. Better to have realistic expectations set now before she gets emotionally tied to going out of state.</p>
<p>Some states have reciprocal agreements with others for reduced tuition. The Western Interstate Exchange is one such agreement.</p>
<p>I agree with vballmom. I would emphasize not falling in love with one school, having an open mind, and applying at the instate public Us. Also, have her consider applying to schools that meet as close to 100% of financial need as possible (fafsa schools if you have a lot of home equity), and look at some private schools where her stats put her near the top and generous merit aid is offered. I would not close any doors to her now, but I also would talk realistically with her so that she is not crushed this spring. BTW, I followed this advice with my older son, and will do the same with my younger son. There are so many wonderful options out there, so there is no need to focus on just a handful of options.</p>
<p>Editing this for one other idea:</p>
<p>I am friendly with someone who is a single parent and her father was out of the picture. Her D wanted to go to one of the most expensive private schools that is known for poor financial aid. She did not say no to her D (I would have said no to that school btw), but offered her 2 years there. The deal was to attend her local community college for 2 years, and then go to the expensive private school for 2 years. Her D did graduate within those 2 years btw, so it did not cost 3 years of tuition and R&B!</p>
<p>I also agree with vballmom. I think you have a very good chance of getting significant FA from need-only schools.</p>
<p>It depends to a large extent on the school's methodology. Our situation was somewhat similar to yours, and the FA awards varied by $20K or more from superb to terrible. (We have part ownership in a piece of real estate that we cannot touch or borrow against, but some schools insisted on counting it anyway and some did not.) Try some different calculators, look at the FA scenarios published by schools she's interested in, and don't assume anything until the offers are in. Even then, you can appeal, and some schools will make significant adjustments, even though others will not.</p>
<p>Carbon, raising a kid who appreciates what she has is nothing short of miraculous in our consumer-driven society. You are really to be commended.</p>
<p>Do a couple of the financial aid scenario's using a few different assumptions.... that your income this year equals last year, that it goes down moderately or down substantially... plus that your home equity is down (it may well be a lot less than you think right now) etc. just so you have a realistic picture of your EFC. Only you can figure out if you can afford that number or not.... but it will give you a starting point.</p>
<p>Then figure out what you can pay from the family budget towards her expenses. She is so lucky to have parents who care about her and her education.</p>
<p>Then have a meeting with your daughter- the message ought to be that you love her and will support her emotionally with every ounce in your being- but that for college, your financial support will be X dollars per year which include living, transportation home, etc. Of course if business picks up you'd be happy to increase the contribution but given medical needs, retirement, etc. your educational budget is X.</p>
<p>Then let her figure some things out. She will not be the first kid in America to work her way through school; she will not be the first kid to have a reality check; she may decide to apply for ROTC, merit only schools out of state, commute from home for a year to save money; go to your state school with a plan to go out of state for grad school, etc. </p>
<p>Your daughter is lucky to have such caring, involved parents who appreciate the help and sacrifices she's made around the house. In turn, you are lucky to have a kid who respects the families limitations and has worked within them. Appreciating what you have is a better graduation gift than a trip to Europe and a Porsche (and wouldn't it be great if you could give her those too??? Just kidding!)</p>
<p>Your story is very moving and I wish you all good luck with this journey.</p>
<p>Don't forget about schools that have good merit aid. There are many out there that would love to have your daughter join them. It's a bit harder because you can't count on getting that aid, but, as others have said, if you're up front with your daughter, she can apply and see what happens.</p>
<p>From what you've said about her, she has a good head on her shoulders and should be able to handle the "I got in but can't afford it" scenario. But if she doesn't apply, she'll always wonder, "What if they had given me enough money if only I'd asked?"</p>
<p>We are a small business but from what you've stated, it's larger than yours. It's a retail business and we have inventory and some equity in the building as well as a delivery vehicle. If you have an accountant, definitely think about sitting down with him/her and go over the FAFSA or whatever financial aid forms your daughter's favorite colleges request. You may be in a better position for financial aid then you realize--especially if your business is so small that you don't have to file a separate business tax return.</p>
<p>Great question! First go to the collegeboard website and search for profile schools. If the school is not on that list, this is a good start, but you are not done yet! Some schools use their own financial forms in addition to the FAFSA. Go the website of each school that you are interested in, and then check what forms are needed for financial aid. I believe that some non-profile schools will count home equity. You can look and see what is on the school's FA forms, and you can email and/or call their FA office and ask what is considered.</p>
<p>Editing: Check the websites for "institutional methodology" vs. federal. If they use institutional, there is a good chance that your home equity is counted to some degree.</p>
<p>Run your numbers through the formula. A small business can have large shifts in the AGI due to all sorts of factors. Make sure you plan to maximize the things that are beneficial, just like doing a tax return where you take every legal deduction, for FAFSA make smart planning choices.</p>
<p>If your AGI is below $40k you may get good aid, Pell, ACG/SMART, state grants, etc.</p>
<p>Pay attention to your family asset protection, are you within that?</p>
<p>Just look at the formula and make sure you do not just miss a qualifying number by a few dollars</p>
<p>Be sure you understand the difference between financial aid (based on need) and merit money (offered to good students regardless of need). </p>
<p>If your D applies to a few private colleges whose stats are just a little bit below hers (and her stats are great, so there are plenty of good schools that fit this bill), she may stand a good chance of getting some merit money/scholarships. </p>
<p>One private college offered my son $18k/year in "merit" money; it would have brought the cost of attending this private school right in line with the cost of attending our flagship state Univ in-state. We do not qualify for any aid at all, but the offer was based on my son's grades and test scores. It had nothing to do with need. So your home equity wouldn't disqualify your daughter from "merit" money at all.</p>
<p>I'm overwhelmed with kindness from all of you! Who do I begin to thank? Thank you ALL. The wealth of information and suggestions you've provided are invaluable. I am the disabled parent, so I'm feeling the guilt. I can't stay on the computer for long, husband busy with his business, and daughter has a very rigorous course schedule and works hard in/out of home. That's why I try to help her as much as I can and let her take it from there. She is a miracle child. My husband and I know it and she knows it, too. We tell her, and more importantly, show her, all the time. I'll probably fall apart when she goes off to school next year, but knowing she is happy will be my reward. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart :)</p>
<p>I second what others have said about exploring financial aid options thoroughly. But I'd also like to add that you should not feel guilty about being realistic and honest. That's being a good parent and a good role model for your daughter. Most of the advice you'll read on this forum recommends that parents let their children know up front what the financial limitations are. I don't know what state you live in, but chances are she'll be able to get an excellent education. Don't overlook the potential of honors programs, if your state U has one. Then perhaps she could expand her horizons by going somewhere else to work for the summer or by planning to find employment in a new part of the country after she graduates. You have so much love and admiration for your daughter, and I know she feels it. You'll work something out together as a family, and she'll be fine.</p>