<p>*The mom has no idea if the D is succeeding at college in terms of academics. It is true that one has to wonder how she’ll do well if she texts 650 times per day and goes on visiting trips every weekend. So, what the mom can do now is set expectations (since there is some concern with the situation) that she expects a min. of a certain GPA and if that is not maintained, that staying at this school will not be an option on her dime. *</p>
<p>I did assume that the daughter isn’t doing that great in school (can’t imagine how she could be unless her college just passes everyone). Also, if her grades are good, it may be because the mom said something about her D taking a light load this semester. If the light load is so that she has more time for texting and weekend visits, then that shouldn’t be financially supported either.</p>
<p>“Maybe that is why they are at community college. I certainly haven’t observed that behavior at S’s school.”
I really have to comment on this remark, but since I was at work all day yesterday with my community college students, I wasn’t able to until now. My point was that all students are texting- that is how Gen Y or the Millenials or whatever you want to call them communicate. And if you haven’t seen it at your son’s school, how would you? You are not a student there.
But to infer that community college students are in someway inferior to four-year university students or ANYONE is so condescending. I looked around my classes yesterday and thought, well, why are they here? Is it because they texted their way through high school?
Many are first-generation college students- their parents never went to college, maybe not even high school, and for these students, the community college is a huge step and a huge opportunity. Some of these had no idea about SAT, ACT, Subject tests, or anything else you need to get into college.
Some are working AND studying, supporting their families, working all night and then coming to class, because they want to learn.
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Some are 18, some are 30, some are 70, but they are working to change their lives. Sometimes their parents or husbands don’t support their going to college, but they come anyway.
And some are so clever that they realize that paying $300 a semester for basic transferable undergraduate classes is a LOT smarter than paying $25,000 a semester. They transfer to USC, Berkeley, Johns Hopkins…
And some of them are so sincere, so sweet, they bring me Starbucks and Christmas presents and truly appreciate getting a chance in life.
I don’t believe they are in any way inferior to the fictional students who don’t text at your son’s school, Consolation.</p>
<p>I’m not Consolation and he/she can respond. And I don’t think it is truly a community college vs. other college thing so much. After all, the OP’s D is not at a community college. But I think it IS fair to say, that while college students at any college use text messaging a great deal, that texting 650 times per day would preclude a student from doing well at a demanding college and being involved on campus. I know the kinds of schedules my kids had in college with demanding classes and very full EC schedules (and for one of my kids, classes were 9-6 daily and she was at school from 9 AM to 11 PM most days…and my other kid, at an Ivy was also doing a Varsity sport that was time consuming and involved every weekend away in season) and there is NO WAY they would have had TIME to make 650 texts in a day. Forget even getting good grades (which they did), but there just would never be time. They would not have been able to survive at their particular selective colleges doing 650 texts per day, not to mention they would never have been able to be involved in ECs as they were. So, the point isn’t so much community college (where I have also taught) or other colleges, but in order to succeed in certain colleges, a student cannot afford the time to do 650 texts per day (or to go on trips every weekend) and still be engaged in college life and do well in classes. That would never cut it at my kids’ colleges. Yes, they use text to communicate with friends. No, they don’t text anywhere near the amount the OP’s D is doing it.</p>
<p>By the way, I would hope in a high school or college setting, unless it is a huge lecture, that a teacher has strict rules about cell phones being in sight or being used during class and with strict consequences.</p>
<p>Students can text in their pockets; they don’t even need to look. And there’s something at college called “the right to fail”. They have the right to enroll in and fail classes, because they don’t have to be there. Most college professors aren’t going to go around confiscating cell phones, although they might kick someone out of class, because they also use them to cheat.
Maybe that is the root of the problem- this girl doesn’t want to be at college, at least not now.</p>
<p>I’ve taught at five colleges (inc. a community college). Admittedly, when I did so, there were no cell phones. But if I were teaching today, and someone was using their cell, I would have a consequence…I’d have to think through this but having them leave class is a good option. There would be a strict rule about this. </p>
<p>When my kids went to high school, they did not have cell phones at school because there was no cell reception at our high school (it is a rural area and I don’t have cell reception at my house either). But I can’t imagine how high schools allow the use of a cell in class. </p>
<p>Students have a right to fail. A teacher has a right to set ground rules in class. Some teachers do not allow tardiness. Not allowing cell phones is a reasonable rule.</p>
<p>soozie, Consolation didn’t say no one could be at a college texting 650 times a day. She basically said maybe that’s why they are at CC. Consolation should apologize.</p>
<p>I’m not defending Consolation and I don’t see the dichotomy so much as being community college vs. four year colleges. But I do see the point that in order to succeed at a demanding college, one could not be the type of student who is texting 650 times per day (and leaving every weekend to boot). A certain work ethic and engagement is necessary in demanding colleges. But as we can see from this thread, a student may be having this problem at a four year college or any college. Still, it would be even harder to get by in a very demanding college if one exhibited this behavior. As I wrote, having had two kids in very demanding colleges and programs, they would not have had the time to even text that many times. Forget grades. </p>
<p>There are kids who have work ethic problems at all colleges. But I think it is fair to say that there is a greater percentage of those with strong work ethic at very selective colleges. Such students are at all colleges, including community college. But in order to get into a very selective college, one has to have demonstrated a certain work ethic and that would be impossible to do if they had time to text message 650 times per day.</p>
<p>Consolation didn’t say one can’t survive texting so much at a highly selective college. Consolation said maybe that’s why they are at CC. I am not sure what you are trying to defend. I don’t think anyone can survive anywhere like that.</p>
<p>I agree that it would be hard to survive any college if texting in the way that the OP’s D is doing. </p>
<p>Again, a certain work ethic is required just to be admitted to a selective college. So, someone who texts 650 times per day in high school, for example, likely hasn’t achieved what is necessary to even be admitted to a very selective college. </p>
<p>At community college (I can say this having taught at such a school), there are some people with very strong work ethic who just have had limited opportunities. But there are many with a not so good work ethic. There are a greater percentage in that setting than at a highly selective college. I also taught at a four year college that wasn’t that selective and there were a number of failing students, and there were many very strong students as well. You can also fail at a highly selective college but the retention rate is high there and there are an abundant number of students with a strong work ethic and who are so busy with academics and ECs that they would never have time to text 650 times per day. </p>
<p>Again, there are strong students with strong work ethic in all educational settings. But there are a greater percentage of that type of student at a college that is highly selective and required a strong work ethic to even be admitted in the first place, compared to a school that will accept all students, strong work ethic or not.</p>
<p>I don´t think Consolation owes anyone any apology. It is his/her opinion, and he is certainly entitle to it. I don´t think the opinion is without any basis.</p>
<p>Consolation mentioned CC because the post to which she was responding describing everyone constantly texting on campus mentioned CC. </p>
<p>I very much doubt that the dedicated non-traditional students at CCs–and we all know they are there–sit in class continuously texting. I also doubt that the dedicated conventional CC students who will be amongst the minority–in my state, anyway–who succeed in getting two years worth of academic credit and transferring to the state flagship sit in classes continuously texting. Those students presumably pay attention in class most of the time and try to learn something. As Emaheevu pointed out, it takes an unusual level of dedication and self-discipline to succeed in that environment.</p>
<p>I continue to think that it is likely that the students who sit in their classes at CC continuously texting are there because they have been disengaged students in the past–and apparently continue that pattern now. Other students are there for other reasons. </p>
<p>And I’m not planning to apologize to anyone.</p>
<p>I obviously think s/he does. I think everyone has the obligation not to say hurtful things without a compelling reason. When they do, an apology is in order. I don’t see any compelling reason in this case.</p>
<p>Serious students will not have the time or desire to text thousands of minutes each month. It has nothing to do with where they are attending. There are many brilliant kids who attend top schools and rarely attend class, so the generalizations are not entirely accurate. </p>
<p>Consolation wants to believe that students at her sons school do not text during class…however, they just might be more discreet.</p>
<p>There are kids with low work ethic at all colleges and there are kids with strong work ethic at all colleges. I don’t think that is in dispute. </p>
<p>But there is clearly a higher percentage of students with a poor work ethic in a CC setting where anyone can be admitted than in a highly selective college in which having a strong work ethic was a factor in being in admitted in the first place. </p>
<p>Further, in highly selective colleges, the retention rate is higher than at a community college. That is fact. </p>
<p>So, while there may be kids texting 650 times per day at a highly selective college, they won’t last too long. Most do not have the time to do that. And since most do last and graduate, the number of kids engaging in 650 texts per day has to be lower than where many kids don’t graduate and are not succeeding at college. </p>
<p>There are brilliant students at all colleges. There are those with strong work ethic at all colleges. But the percentages at a highly selective college surely differ than say at a community college. </p>
<p>I have taught at five colleges and feel I have some sense of that.</p>
<p>Those were not the students under discussion. The students who sit in CC classes continuously texting were.</p>
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<p>Of course I’m sure that students at my son’s school text during class, especially during large lectures. Some more than others,. But do I believe that students in a 15-person discussion-oriented class or any other class that demands attention and engagement are sitting there texting throughout class? No, I don’t. Not unless they want to flunk out. (Of course, students who do that at CC will probably flunk out too.) I certainly know that my S isn’t because I know how many texts he sends per month. As regards the other behavior, the majority of the students at that particular CC were described as constantly texting as they walked around campus, ate meals, etc. I have been on S’s campus numerous times, and I have not seen this happening. Of course I’ve seen some students texting. But the majority of them seem to be interacting with each other face-to-face. It’s not a question of what I “want” to believe: it’s a question of what I have observed.</p>
<p>Don’t hold your breath, Iglooo. Just because your D happened to take a course at a CC doesn’t mean that anyone has said or thinks that she is inferior. It is your choice to leap to that conclusion and feel “hurt.”</p>
<p>Report from the field: At my D’s Cc, students do not “sit in their classes at CC continuously texting”. The standing policy is no calls, no texting during class, and some profs also insist on phones off. She reports that this is not a problem in her classes.</p>
<p>I am not talking about my D. She may or may not be inferior. It will be interesting to find out how “inferior” she is. My concern was more general. Mainly those who attend CC for whatever reasons shouldn’t have to put up with an uncalled-for condescending remark. I personally rather have anyone work hard anywhere to improve their lives. We benefit as a society. I would encourage them rather than discourage them with snide remarks.</p>
<p>Iglooo, each person who has posted has said that there are strong students at community college who work hard. Nobody painted a broad brush stroke. </p>
<p>Someone who taught at a CC remarked that everyone is texting all the time at that PARTICULAR college, including during class. </p>
<p>And that may happen at a very selective college too. But it is less likely to be as high of a percentage because students cannot survive in those colleges if they were to do that and the retention rate at those colleges is high. They may not survive at CC if they do that either but many more don’t graduate from that type of college. And a strong work ethic was not required to be admitted (even if some who attend CC have a strong work ethic). I just don’t think that is too disputable. </p>
<p>Strong students are everywhere. Goof offs are everywhere. But the percentages on certain campuses do vary. And the remarks were in reply to someone who teaches at a CC and observes excessive texting, including in class, to be prevalent at that college. </p>
<p>I don’t know what college the OP’s D attends. Her number of texts are not the norm. As I wrote, at my kids’ colleges, nobody would have that kind of free time, and they would not last. But most kids do graduate and so they must not be engaging in 650 texts per day.</p>